tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-164698432024-03-13T08:52:54.726-04:00The Whimsical World of T.L. GrayAuthor T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.comBlogger904125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-63624431271836421742023-01-25T11:15:00.000-05:002023-01-25T11:15:26.043-05:00Echoes in the Well of Silence<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3rirOa08m6xLPTMJo76AzFvF94iIAJKq28ib_RuRrAJVW2RrArf55438iP016LWngZBOdzh9eZF0RIACuQ_gEoSgClaQhYzwIUAgy-caosnRYNPOooXPDqIJVR6CYHfKHvq9RPL1rybKq6drvhPU2slMBRHLkDpTJY-WXx9L9nTVn24bZtQ/s1280/Echoes%20of%20Silence.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3rirOa08m6xLPTMJo76AzFvF94iIAJKq28ib_RuRrAJVW2RrArf55438iP016LWngZBOdzh9eZF0RIACuQ_gEoSgClaQhYzwIUAgy-caosnRYNPOooXPDqIJVR6CYHfKHvq9RPL1rybKq6drvhPU2slMBRHLkDpTJY-WXx9L9nTVn24bZtQ/s320/Echoes%20of%20Silence.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p class="MsoTitle">Echos in the Well of Silence<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">There’s a lot going on in our society today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For some people, it’s a bit overwhelming and
quite alarming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you watch any sort of
news, you will hear the fearmongering happening every day, and everywhere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For the first time in a long time, I’m smiling.
There’s an awakening happening, but let’s not get that confused with the
current classification of “woke.” In the words of Tom MacDonald, there’s a lot
of “Fake Woke” ideology in our society and it’s hurting everyday people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We, as a majority in American culture, over the past
several years, have been locked down, cancelled, infringed, persecuted, fired,
dis-enfranchised, received strikes, bans, cancellations and silenced on social media,
in all major media platforms, in our schools, our government, our jobs, and
even down at the community volunteer center. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I’m an Independent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I believe in social freedoms, but I also believe in personal
responsibility.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe in God. I
believe in family. I believe in loving one another. I believe in helping my
neighbor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, most of all I believe in
freedom to stand up for or against the things that I believe hurt or harm my planet,
my country, my neighborhood, my family, or myself. I’m neither right nor left,
conservative nor progressive, Republican nor Democrat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And all this division needs to stop. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I smile every time I see someone standing up to the ‘system’
that has been crushing our communities, our families, our country, our
government, and our citizens. Big Medicine, Big Corp, Big Tech, Big Government.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our economy is hurting everyone, from the largest
corporations to the smallest mom & pop shop around the corner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Families are struggling to put food on the
table, pay their rent or mortgage, keep jobs at companies that are facing
supply-chain issues, put gas in vehicles so they can get to or preform the jobs
that pay their bills and supports their families, keep the lights on, the
internet going, feed the livestock or farmer’s fields that fills the grocery
stores.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have issues with drugs,
crime, homelessness, But I rarely see – balanced solutions. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I love my planet, and I want to do everything I
reasonably can to protect the environment, the animals and people who live on
this planet now, and for the generations to come.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, having witnessed how much our
innovation and technology has evolved just over the past century, I have full
confidence we are going to figure out how we can save them all. I believe that
with all assurance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have faith in the
minds of humanity that we will, “figure it out!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I will never support the current suffrage
of humanity or creatures in actions purported and supported by fear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will not throw money at unreasonable
solutions that cause more harm than good – due to emotional fear of “if we don’t’
do this NOW – we won’t be around in 1000 years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sorry, but while we can take a ‘step’ in the right direction to correct
or move toward more viable solutions, we don’t pull the support out of the
current system that supports the citizens of this country today. So, when you
tell me I must sacrifice my livelihood, the ability to take care of my family
for a program that ‘may’ improve our world or society in 1000 years – I want to
scream, “Where is your faith, O’ hypocrite?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As Ben Shapiro once said, “Facts don’t care about your feelings.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow", sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">I love my fellow human beings.</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow", sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow", sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">I don’t care if your gay or straight, black or
white, young or old, male or female, smart or creative, musical or analytical,
Christian or Jew, Atheist or humanist, native or immigrant, or if you decide to
be a rainbow unicorn on Tuesdays.</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow", sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow", sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">We all
have our differences, and as American Citizens, we have the Constitutional inalienable
rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow", sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow", sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">That doesn’t mean we have the right to force
someone else to adhere to our choices or beliefs. We are a Democratic Republic –
where “We the People” have fought for and voted for the laws that govern our
citizens.</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow", sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow", sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Some laws change as society
changes, but not the indelible rights.</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow", sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow", sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">We
are a culture that is a melting pot from all walks of humanity.</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow", sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow", sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">That is something of which to be proud.</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow", sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow", sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">With it comes its own set of issues – because
we all have differences.</span><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow", sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">It breaks my heart when I see people being silenced
if their ‘opinion” doesn’t match with the popular status quo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The exchange of different idea, different
views, different perspectives is what makes us strong. Again, to paraphrase Tom
MacDonald, “There’s a difference between hate speech and speech that you hate.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Silencing opposition is ONLY about control – not
the free exchange of ideas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s
cowardly to try and silence opposition, to suppress facts that empowers our citizens.
I’ve been there – done that – and all it caused was hate and division.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not afraid of opinions that differ from
my own, because I’ve matured enough as a person to be confident that opposing
opinions don’t frighten me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Watching the floor of the House recently debate one
another when they didn’t agree – I find completely refreshing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If there’s no debate, then there’s no
exchange of ideas, and we are all sheep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We, as a society, have been beat into submission for so long, I’ve often
wondered, where are the Patrick Henry’s of our time, who will stand up and
proclaim against the system, “Give me Liberty of give me death?” Where are the
Reagan’s who are bold enough of to proclaim, “Tear down this wall!” We silence
them, deplatformed and banned them on all social media.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We cry out for the rights of our criminals
and forget about the suffering of the victims.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We are quick to call people names, judge them, demand their jobs, their
careers, or put them in boxes if they don’t follow the popular quo, post the
popular memes, become a part of the most recent popular movements.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">There’s a lot of yelling and gnashing of teeth in
our society – but we all are suffering beneath the Sound of Silence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Simon and Garfunkel warned us – yet we have
not heard the writing of the Prophets on the subway walls or tenement
halls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We witness the suffering every
day– yet we bite down on our lips and grit our teeth.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">But, today I smile – because I’m hearing the soft
echoes of a few voices in the wilderness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“Independent” artists, content creators, social media influencers, pod
casters, small business owners, innovators and everyday people who do not
choose the easy path, who do not live to earn money, understand who they are
and what they believe, but most of all …follow a mission. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Money is important – you will starve without
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the purpose behind what we do is
more important than how much money we can make doing it. Do not put your talent
into the ground, so that you show your master you can save what he gave
you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Invest your talent, your heart, and
your vision into a mission – whether you succeed or fail to make ‘money’, you
will have already won and you will have peace. There will be hard days – many of
them, I’m sure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, even in the hardest
day – purpose and mission will drive us, inspire us, and gives us the strength
to keep going. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The journey is what gives our life purpose – not the
things that will one day turn to rust and dust.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I understand the fight Steven Crowder
is fighting – and if you think it’s about money – you haven’t read the Prophet’s
warnings on the subway walls. I understand Tom MacDonald and his fight against
the system to stay Independent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you
think his journey is about money and not the mission – you haven’t read the
Prophet’s warnings on the tenement halls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You’re still in the dark, talking without speaking, hearing without
listening, writing songs that voices never share, and you do not dare to disturb
the sound of Silence. Will these words, like silent raindrop fall and echo in the
wells of Silence? I really hope not. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Til next time, <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">~T.L. Gray<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">#SoundofSilence #Simon&Garfunkle #StevenCrowder
#TomMacDonald #PatrickHenry #RonaldReagan #Independent #SocialIssues<o:p></o:p></span></p><br /><p></p>Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-1985069559384686832021-03-11T16:51:00.061-05:002021-03-11T17:17:09.548-05:00Controversy vs. Vision<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hEoU82AqrtU/YEqOve8L4sI/AAAAAAAAp8s/-hu_5ub07gQKib7bRIBkvKln43wUMCZ9ACLcBGAsYHQ/s960/Controversy%2Bvs.%2BVision.pptx.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="393" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hEoU82AqrtU/YEqOve8L4sI/AAAAAAAAp8s/-hu_5ub07gQKib7bRIBkvKln43wUMCZ9ACLcBGAsYHQ/w295-h393/Controversy%2Bvs.%2BVision.pptx.jpg" width="295" /></a></div><p><br /></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Controversy vs. Vision<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">WARNING: The following
blog post will probably hurt your feeling, offend you, or lead to some cyber
bullying because the content will be a bit controversial. I’m at a point in my life - at one of those levels where I’m done
shaking my head, gritting my teeth, and trying to hold my mouth shut as tight
as I can. I’m done. What am I being
silent for? Afraid to lose friends? Afraid to be cancelled? Afraid to be
bullied or attacked for having an opinion? Nah, it’s none of those things. If you have had the opportunity to get to
know me – if you’ve been reading my story, my blogs at any time over the past
decade, then you know where I came from, you know who I am, and you sure as
hell know I’m not afraid of what anyone could do to <i>me</i> . Nah. Truth - I’m afraid of what I can do …to <i>you</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I love humanity. I truly honestly do. I’m an orphan and never really had a place I
could call home. I made a place for my
kids for a while, but I never had anywhere to run. I can relate to NF – I built
my own mansion in my mind – and my truth is written all over those walls. My
art – my paintings, my pictures, my music, and my writing – those blank pages
and canvases are my therapy sessions. I
love humanity, but very rarely ever felt it love me back. I am not apathetic or
indifferent for anyone – even for those who’ve hurt and abused me. I don’t trust them, don’t want them in my life,
will protect and separate myself from them – but I care, and I’m affected
emotionally. The love of God dwells within
me. But, I hold a sword and I know how to use it, and I’m not afraid to use it.
<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Hate is a passionate
feeling. Love is a passionate feeling. Indifference
is a lack of either. Respect and Disrespect is a state of being. Society should
pick up a dictionary every once in a while, because they are throwing around
words in the wrong contexts – starting arguments, leading to offenses and
dividing us. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">This pandemic has really
affected me, and I’m sure many others, in a weird way. I can’t speak for everyone else – only myself.
Not only did I get really sick (I caught Covid early in April last year – and having
fought breast cancer a few years before – I’m high risk) and for a minute –
thought I might check out of this place, but due to disinformation, fear-mongering
by our media and environment, and the whole world jumping through hoops
shutting everything down, panic-buying, and political grand-standing, I honestly
became paralyzed and didn’t know what to do. I didn’t trust any of them –
either side – or any of the information pouring in – because the following week
would prove the earlier thoughts wrong. My
life went on pause. My job sent me into
isolation to work from home – my son shipped off to the Navy – and the world
starting spinning off kilter – there was a paradigm shift. I stopped …everything.
I stopped meeting up with my friends (social-distancing), going out to eat,
going to events, running 5-ks, cancelled my gym membership, going to the
movies, concerts, stopped visiting the nursing homes and feeding the hungry at soup
kitchens or passing our MREs to those on the streets. I stopped writing,
painting, or playing music. If it wasn’t
for my work going through a lot of changes to accommodate all these
restrictions and changes, and my boyfriend moving in with me, I don’t want to
think how far down what rabbit hole of oppression and depression I would have
wandered. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">But, as with the seasons –
and that WAS a season – I’m coming into a new one. And I’m noticing things in the world that
shock the hell out of me, and then when the idiocy is happening over and over and
over and over again and again – I’m starting to stir. This sleeping giant is waking. And there are
a few things vibrating in the universe that is helping with that awakening, and
it would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge them.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">So here goes – WARNING –
WARNING – WARNING - for those easily offended, unable to see things from
different points of views, or you’re an activist of some kind, or a troll – go ahead
and stop reading now. The following will
include social, political, musical and religious content and I’m sure something
will offend you. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Let me get some facts out
there and out of the way – so those easily offended and put people in boxes to
cancel, here’s your red pen: <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I am not a Democrat or a
Republican – I am an Independent. I am
an American. I am a social liberal and fiscal conservative – believe in small government
and don’t believe you can legislate morality.
I care about the American people, not a political party. I do believe in equality for religion, race, gender,
and sexual orientation – but I don’t believe in bullshit rules that deny those
rights in others of different religion, race, gender or sexual orientation. I’m
in the center and I hate the division in our country. I deal with issues – not wings. Both wings are on the same bird. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I am educated. I hold a Master’s Degree. I am a published author, editor, and literary
agent. I have worked in the professional
world for almost 30 years, owned my own business, and understand laws, economics,
and hard work. NOTHING was given to me – I had to fight for every single bit of
it. It’s not a result of heritage or white privilege. I was a poor white Jewish
girl. Been on my own since 16, no parents, no welfare, received no scholarships
and owe no student debt. My education and work was purchased in sacrifice,
blood, sweat and many, many, many tears. I’m not rich, but I take care of
myself and am not in debt.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I am a woman. I am a Jew who accepts Jesus Christ as
Messiah. I am strong in my faith. I am
not religious and cuss words will fly out of my mouth like a sailor. I say what I want and know how I feel, and
what I believe. I don’t proselytize (that’s
shove my faith down everyone else’s throats). I have studied many faiths – and have
actually worked in the Christian Ministry for a period in my life. However, I hold personal views that conflict
with the mainstream religious community – because I care about the people – not
the religion. I know what it feels like to be judged, hated, discriminated and
disenfranchised. I know what it’s like to be persecuted for my sex, my faith
and my skin color. I don’t appropriate any culture. I’m not racist, I have the
most beautiful mixed grandbaby in the world – and I’d probably beat your ass if
she were threatened. I am extremely
prejudiced. I don’t like liars, thugs, thieves,
or fake woke assholes. I believe we have
cultural issues plaguing our society as a whole – on all the color spectrums. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I care about women’s
rights. I care about equality. I care
about freedom. I also care about personal responsibility and accountability. I
respect rights. I respect life. So, I’m
just saying – don’t put me in a box because I promise I’ll surprise you. I don’t follow the status quo of all these
issues. I take each one individual and
make decisions and opinions based on personal understanding and
experience. I weigh facts.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Okay – that should be
enough about me – so those new to the blog will at least have some idea where I
come from when I’m expressing my opinions. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Now to get to the heart of
this blog post - Controversy vs. Vision.
I’m not sure mainstream society even understands the difference between the
two – or even begins to understand the latter.
Then again – does mainstream society even know how to recognize which
pieces they are on the chess board? I don’t think they do – and I don’t think
they truly understand they’re even on the board, or that there’s a power game
being played around them. If you call them a pawn, they take offense and shut
down therefore allowing the opposition to come in and wipe them out as a sacrificial
piece. Lost you already? I’m sure I’ve
lost some – but that’s okay. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">There are other pieces on
this black and white checkered board, and one of them is a piece I often use to
win most of the games I’ve played and that’s the Knight. Knights don’t move forward
or backward, diagonal or in straight lines, they don’t act like the rest of the
pieces. Those with vision in our society
are Knights. I’m seeing some Knights lately in different areas on this world. I’m
seeing them in a psychologists that’s not afraid to speak up to talk about how
dangerous many of the social decisions are affecting our world. There are some political Knights outside of
mainstream media “cancel culture” – going outside their platforms to speak
truth. There’s Knights speaking up
against the social media, big tech, and entertainment industries interfering
and inciting racial and political divides, most often losing their jobs,
wrecking their careers, and being cyber bullied to the point of destruction. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I’ve come across a couple
knights lately, one is a rap artist and the other is his girlfriend who is a videographer
and artist herself. I don’t listen to rap music. The only other rap artists I’ve liked is NF –
because of his message on how he deals with the abuse in his life. I related.
He touched my heart. But, this
new rapper, Tom MacDonald, and his girlfriend, Nova Rockafeller, have me
nodding my head in agreement and stirring up embers of passion inside. They
inspire me, not just their songs – which are works of art lyrically, musically
and artistically, and I plan to do a series of blog posts breaking down their
music at a later date, but their work ethic, their business choices and their
FREEDOM is what has got my skin prickling with excitement. They’re not bound by the restrictions of a
record label, big tech, or social platforms.
They are completely independent – so they are free – they can do what
they want and say what they say – and cancel culture can’t censor them. Because they’re spitting TRUTH that is
relevant today – it’s resonating with their listeners, and that makes them
unstoppable. They’re bold. They’re flipping the finger off at everybody that
tells them they can’t, or finds their truth offensive. They refuse to take no
for an answer or apologize for taking a stand.
But what is most inspiring is that they hold true to their message
regardless of public response and criticism.
Often their lives are threatened for their statements – yet they keep going. There’s nothing to stop them – no label to
control them, no sponsors to drop them, so social media platform to block
them. They’re not YouTube rappers,
Click bait responders - they own their own masters, cameras, merchandise and
brand. They have no manager, publicist,
or agent. They do their own bookings,
their own media, their own merchandise … and their own songs. They write their own music, create their own
videos - they are their own label, their own brand. THAT is the greatest example of Entrepreneurship
I’ve seen in a long time. It wasn’t
given to them – they have worked hard for it over the past 10 years to get
where they have now arrived. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">They’re doing something
that even our former and current President and political leaders can’t do. Not even the Queen of England is safe from these
bishops - these “Cancelled”, “Fake-Woke”, “People So Stupid”, with “Clown World”
mentality. I feel like screaming, “Hey
You!” like Nova and flipping my own finger at this over-sensitive,
fear-mongering news stations, Dr. Suess
hatin’, Circumcising Mr. Potato Head, cancel Gina Carano, no Normal in Dove,
race-batin’, Me-Too, everybody’s a victim, boys in girls’ sports – society that
wants to control us – and every aspect in our lives. As Shapiro
pointed out, “Fact don’t have feelings.” And Peterson said it well, “No one gets away
with anything, ever, so take responsibility for your own life.”<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Those are just a few
knights I’ve come across lately, and they are all busy stirring up a lot of
controversy, but not because they are controversial. They’re controversial because they’re
visionaries. Their eyes are open and
they’re free – this whole cancel culture has come hard after all of them, not
because they are spouting hate speech, but because they speak what SOME people
hate. (That’s a play on one of MacDonald’s
songs.) Ol’ MacDonald has a farm …full of H.O.G.s. Oink! Oink!<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I’m intrigued. I want to see where this couple goes, how far
into the game they progress. I want
more. I wish them the very best – I hope
their swords are sharp. I see their
marketing, I understand the game they’re playing. They’ve made some good bold moves lately –
but the game isn’t over – there’s still some powerful players on the board. Don’t
over-estimate over-looked Pawns, they can lead to a downfall. Be strong. Be smart. The message is clear and it’s a good one. Stay
true.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">It’s good to be back. I’m moving into a new location this weekend,
but you better believe I’m coming back in full-swing. You’ll be seeing a lot more of me. <o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Till next time,<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">~T.L. Gray</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Californian FB",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"> </span></p>Tom MacDonald links below:<br /><br /><a href="https://www.blogger.com/#">https://www.hangovergang.com</a><br /><br /><a href="https://www.blogger.com/#">https://www.instagram.com/hangovergang</a><br /><br /><a href="https://www.blogger.com/#">https://spoti.fi/2BoWXIq</a><br /><br /><a href="https://www.blogger.com/#">https://apple.com/2BoXzhjhttps://www.facebook.com/tomMacDonalOfficial</a><br /><br /><a href="https://www.blogger.com/#">https://twitter.com/IAmTomMacDonald</a><br /><br /> <br /><br />Jordan Peterson links: <br /><br /><a href="https://www.blogger.com/#">https://www.jordanbpeterson.com/</a><br /><br /> <br /><br />Ben Shapiro<br /><br /> <br /><br /><a href="https://www.blogger.com/#">https://www.dailywire.com</a><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></p>Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-57887539976442684472020-09-07T13:37:00.000-04:002020-09-07T13:37:04.973-04:00On Pause ...Resume<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wcCG85OsNNI/X1Zvh0CxVZI/AAAAAAAAoVU/X14OogB4fwYiKVe4O4RZLZGpZp1eUOTiwCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Starting%2BOver.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1209" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wcCG85OsNNI/X1Zvh0CxVZI/AAAAAAAAoVU/X14OogB4fwYiKVe4O4RZLZGpZp1eUOTiwCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Starting%2BOver.jpg" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p></p><p class="MsoTitle">My last blog post a few months ago was about feeling like my
life has been put on pause – and it was, but it wasn’t, but I realize it had
been because now it’s on resume. It didn’t
stop – it just moved, turned with the changes that came.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">NOTHING is the same that it was six months ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not the same as I was just six months
ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our world is not the same that it
was six months ago. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The part of me I want resumed more than anything is my
writing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I miss it. I feel like I’ve
betrayed it somehow, that I’ve neglected it and left it sitting in the dust
somewhere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So, now that I’ve moved my office out of my living room –
and set up my home office once again for my writing, I’m hoping my gift will
forgive me and be there for me, and help me get back to what I really love. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’ve been on pause long enough. It’s time to start over – to
start again.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My son is now a Sailor in the Navy. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Covid-19 has gotten on my last nerve and I have no more
tolerance or patience. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Work is back at the office where it belongs. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’m in a relationship with someone I love and who I believe
loves me.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So, it’s time.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Until tomorrow, <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">~T.L. Gray<o:p></o:p></p><br /><p></p>Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-7105004417051947432020-05-04T07:03:00.001-04:002020-05-04T07:03:53.742-04:00On Pause<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Oa4JkPgT7BE/Xq_2W4aCGDI/AAAAAAAAlgI/bWU6DB4MUBIB9WHF67F1m6Mt8RFEn9TogCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/On%2BPause.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Oa4JkPgT7BE/Xq_2W4aCGDI/AAAAAAAAlgI/bWU6DB4MUBIB9WHF67F1m6Mt8RFEn9TogCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/On%2BPause.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I constantly feel like I’m on pause.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My life plans, my goals, my dreams, and even
my privacy and space is always sacrificed for someone or something else. The
sad part, I’m the one in control. I’m the one that keeps giving up my time, my
space, my heart, my dreams and my goals – for others. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How do I fight for me? How do I take back my life? How do I
protect it from being hijacked again?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Who is in control of my pause button?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Until tomorrow, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
~T.L. Gray<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-85481736338516346762020-04-06T07:26:00.000-04:002020-04-06T07:26:18.696-04:00Recovery and Hope<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZDxS6wCD-4E/XosRjqR0vUI/AAAAAAAAkwk/HMpKNOvlCp0cNddXczj3-neYuhi2Fs87QCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Recovery%2Band%2BHope.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="432" data-original-width="648" height="213" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZDxS6wCD-4E/XosRjqR0vUI/AAAAAAAAkwk/HMpKNOvlCp0cNddXczj3-neYuhi2Fs87QCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Recovery%2Band%2BHope.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Good morning, world. We are a different place today than we
were just a few weeks ago. It’s a worrisome time, and not one death is
unimportant. Not ONE.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All lives
matter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life is precious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life is not guaranteed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is no rule that states that if we do
this – or do that – our life is guaranteed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There is no promise for a tomorrow. BUT – there is hope. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If we’ve learned anything from this COVID-19 virus is that’s
we are all connected, we do not live on our own island and the world around us
can’t or don’t affect us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, it
does.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are all part of the societal
machine – we all effect the world around us in either in a negative or positive
way, but we are all ‘essential’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my recovery from this nasty virus, I can’t help but worry
about the world around me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, I’m
stressed like everyone else. Yes, I’m worried about the financial, social, and
environmental effect this nasty virus is having on me, my family, and my
neighbors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, I’m worried about the
ultimate cost - not just of the direct effects of this virus – all the needless
deaths, but of the emotional damage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Those numbers are not just numbers – those are our neighbors, friends, mothers,
fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers,
daughters and sons that are dying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This
virus isn’t racist or prejudiced and attacks everyone, so it will require
everyone in order to combat and kill it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am in recovery. My body is strong and it was the only
weapon I had against this virus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is
no antiviral, there are no antibiotics, and there is no cure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All I could do was treat symptoms and help my
body fight as hard as it could from this horrible enemy inside me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My body is winning and my amazing and
miraculous machine is producing its own natural antibodies destroying the enemy
within and building up a protective immunity that will help me stay strong as
this nasty bug continues to circulate through our world. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My heart breaks for those who had family and loved ones who
did not overcome their battle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of
them were precious lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve been in a
very strict quarantine, not just to protect myself as I fight this virus, but
to protect others around me. There is hope. We will recover …from this
virus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, I must have hope we as a
society will recover from the grief and pain of our loss. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let us all love each other, be considerate of each other,
and remember that we are all essential in our roles as neighbors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
~T.L. Gray<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-49887841127717057502020-03-23T05:52:00.000-04:002020-03-23T05:52:09.262-04:00Directions<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Hhf56gP8N2k/XniGhu7IeEI/AAAAAAAAkhI/VlLVCz4slbsPwwF8WmUjavhs57dfa9i9QCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Directions.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Hhf56gP8N2k/XniGhu7IeEI/AAAAAAAAkhI/VlLVCz4slbsPwwF8WmUjavhs57dfa9i9QCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Directions.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoTitle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoTitle">
Directions<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ever had a destination, a goal, an objective, or something
that needed to get done or somewhere you needed to be in life?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can tell you won’t arrive by accident, it
won’t happen on its own power, and I still haven’t figured out how to teleport
like Harry Potter, so more than likely neither have you. No, the only way we
can get to a particular goal/destination is directions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need directions. We need a road-map to the
destination of our goals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I like to think of myself somewhat a gypsy, but that’s only
wishful thinking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m strategic,
analytical, observant, scientific, and rational.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My free spirit I leave to my painting, but
even in that – it’s still organized, planned, and executed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Okay, I take it back. I’m NOTHING like a gypsy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have goals. If this damned pandemic doesn’t kill me, there’s
still a lot of things left that I want to do, and the only way I know how to
get them done, the only way that I’ve achieved the goals and destinations before
this – was to make a plan and then carefully map out the directions to achieve
the end goal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, I think it’s time I start making those plans again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My problem isn’t that I don’t have any
dreams, any plans, any wants, or any destinations, but that I have too many and
need to make a decision and narrow them down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s time. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of those goals – is get back to this blog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here we go – step one – I blogged today. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Next direction in my goal for blogging – blog tomorrow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Until tomorrow, <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
~T.L. Gray<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-44903458597513161872020-01-06T08:06:00.000-05:002020-01-06T08:06:51.135-05:00What a Conundrum<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wkbKOz2pFw4/XhMwpFJQawI/AAAAAAAAhsE/iOPrIl5h4iI8JopkFEDOFVtFcGPz1y97QCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Conundrum.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="151" data-original-width="352" height="137" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wkbKOz2pFw4/XhMwpFJQawI/AAAAAAAAhsE/iOPrIl5h4iI8JopkFEDOFVtFcGPz1y97QCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Conundrum.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What do I really want?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I don’t know. I don’t have a clue. I have an idea of what I want, but I
know more of what I don’t want than what I do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So, I guess that begs to differ and I must ask myself, “What do I need?”
I don’t think I know the answer to that question either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What I think I need, may be a combination of
what I want, but only after a situation or a relationship ends to I realize if
it supplied me with what I needed. Most often failure occurs because I didn’t
get what I needed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, what does anyone need?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Our bodies need food, exercise, and healthy activity to be active and
strong. Our minds need stimulation. Our soul needs purpose. Our hearts … need
love. But, how do we get it? How do we find out what is enough, what is right,
what is beneficial?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> What a conundrum.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I seem to learn this by trial and error, and frankly I’m
sick of the errors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tired of getting
hurt. I’m tired of never being enough, or being too much, or falling off of tall
pedestals. I’m tired of being rejected, cheated on, used, lied to, or ignored. Most
of all … I’m tired of sacrificing my wants and needs to try and love someone
else and fulfill their wants and needs. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, what do I want?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
simply want to be loved, to be respected, and to be wanted. I’d give the world
to any man who could truly give those things to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But he can’t be a mess. I am not going to
give him a mess. I’m going to give him my best. I know this – because I always
do, it’s who I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My man gets my heart,
my hopes, my dreams, my time, my focus, my support, as well as my body, my
smile, and the best part of everything I have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So, I want no less in return.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If
a man doesn’t have his shit in order, his house in order, his emotions in
order, his heart in order – please don’t come knocking on my door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The BEST give anyone can give to another
person is the best of themselves. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not saying this to say they have to be rich and/or
successful. I am not materialistic in the least.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m really simple. But there are a few things
they should be. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">They should be free of other emotional
attachments</b>. Men should not be in a relationship with someone else and
hitting me up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you haven’t been on
your own, severed the ties with your exes, and your heart is open to be devoted
to me – leave me the hell alone. I will not be your backup plan, your second
choice, your distraction, your rebound, or you side chick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nope. Hell No.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Uh-Uh! I’m a lady. I am open, honest and I
have thick ass walls because I’ve been lied to and cheated on with men who
still clung to an ex, or had some other woman on the side feeding their ego, or
being that back up support.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not
into polyamorous relationships. There are women out there that are, go hit them
up, but lose my number and don’t bother. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">They
should be able to support themselves</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’m ALL for chasing dreams, but you better have made provisions for
yourself to chase those dreams.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t
care what size house you live in, what kind of car you drive, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I honestly, really don’t care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, be able to support yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Be responsible enough that you have a roof
over your head and food to eat, and have reliable transportation to get from
point A to point B.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not your Sugar Momma
– nor will I be. I take care of myself and pay my own bills.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will NOT take care of a man. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have a steady job. Have a steady income.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you can’t support yourself or keep a job,
you’ve got no business being in a relationship. Help yourself FIRST before you
bring someone else down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">They
should have a dream of their own and be supportive of mine</b>. I don’t care
how big or how small, but have something to love, something you’re passionate
about and working toward.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have a
purpose, a goal, a desire for something that drives you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It could be your job, your hobby, or you
playtime.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, if you’re depressed and
lost and spend most of your time on a couch binge-watching Netflix, going
through the motions and avoiding life – please don’t even look my
direction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a lot of passion,
drive, energy and desires, and that’s often attractive to people who don’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But what happens in those types of unbalanced
relationships is I get drained – because these types of men don’t pour back the
same energy into me. Want to get to know me – let’s go do something, get
outside, explore something together, go kayaking, go hunt down a historical
site, go search for seashells on the beach, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love to cuddle. I love to snuggle and watch
a movie together – but not every single time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It happens time and time again – and my dreams get put on hold, or
ignored, or unfulfilled. No lie. EVERY dream I have achieved – I’ve had to do
it alone. EVERY DAMNED ONE OF THEM.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
have helped many people reach for their dreams, but I’ve never had even the
slightest support for mine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yeah, they
SAY … good luck, go for it, you’re good at that, Babe … but when I win an
award, get a contract, speak at a conference, do an interview, go to a signing,
go kayaking, jump from a plane, raft down a river, climb a mountain … I am
alone. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, I don’t need anyone. I’ve been able to navigate this
world on my own. I motivate myself. I am disciplined and determined. I have
loved deeply and not loved in returned. I have given my best, but have not
received it in return.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have trusted
and been betrayed. Here I am again – being told almost on a daily basis that I’m
so beautiful, so inspirational, so desirable, yet I’m intimidating, out of
their league, and deserving of someone so much better – or I don’t fit their
mold.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They want a party girl, or arm
candy, or a care giver. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, what hope do
I have? What I have is walls – high, thick, walls. I’m scared to even talk to
anyone about anything deep or important, because who can carry this heaviness
with me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I carry it alone. I’m great at
conversation, but it must stay in the shallow waters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Someone recently told me they think I really want to be
alone …and they may be right. Not because I don’t WANT someone in my life, but
because I don’t trust I won’t get hurt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again,
they may be right. To reach me will take time, patience, and a lot of love –
and honestly – I haven’t seen that in this fast-paced, gotta have it my way right
now society.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s too easy to just leap
to the next easy thing when things get complicated with a simple swipe to the
right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yet – I still have hope there is someone out there that will
be my balance, which will be strong enough and brave enough to handle all of
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do I have faith? No. But, I have
hope. God help them, but I do believe my warrior is out there somewhere. I just
pray my eyes will be able to see him, and my heart will be able to recognize him
when I meet him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I do find him, I
have so much love to give – a love that is deep, and faithful, and true, and
honest, and wild, and passionate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God
help him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<br />Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-54498949996098438282020-01-02T07:58:00.001-05:002020-01-02T07:58:56.595-05:00New Year Resolutions 2020<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WqPwJwnRtkQ/Xg3o1rTsw9I/AAAAAAAAhmc/4Mp3WgEsM2Q0qKF_glCBp5jflyepypbcgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/New%2BYear%2BResolution.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="860" data-original-width="1219" height="225" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WqPwJwnRtkQ/Xg3o1rTsw9I/AAAAAAAAhmc/4Mp3WgEsM2Q0qKF_glCBp5jflyepypbcgCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/New%2BYear%2BResolution.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">It’s
that time of year again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For those who
don’t make resolutions this post may be just what you need to read. For those
who do make them, maybe this will help you. In Forrest Gump fashion, “That’s
all I’ve got to say about that.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Resolutions
for me are promises I make to myself and no one else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many, many, many changes have happened in my
life due to the resolutions/promises I’ve made in the past – so for ME, they
work. I think they work for me, because I take promises and vows very
seriously, and these are promises to me, to my heart, and to my soul, and they
deserve my best.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">So,
what are my resolutions this year?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Bright"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Lucida Bright";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let the past go, live in the moment, and start
focusing more on the future. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
realized I had been holding tightly to some past hurts and deep rooted
pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was pain I thought I had
dealt with, but had only managed to bury.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I needed to see it. I needed to feel it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It came out while having one of those very rare, deep, open
conversations with someone – where you talk about shit you didn’t even know you
needed to talk about; that heavy shit. It was so heavy, it cost me a
relationship, and I’m so sad about that, but I’m not sad it happened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It needed it to happen. I needed to see it. I
needed to face it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a godsend that
it happened when it did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Bright"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Lucida Bright";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let my feet be
quick to walk away and my mouth be swift to say, “No.” - it’s not my job to
save the world</span></b><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
have patterns and I need to start paying close attention to those patterns. One
of those patterns is always being there to lend a helping hand, always being
someone that sees the needs in others and forgets that I have needs as well,
because I will compromise to meet their wants and needs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not God. I’m not Jesus. I may be Supergirl,
but my cape is ripped, my boots are torn, and there’s Kryptonite in the marrow
of my bones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not my job to save the
world anymore, and there’s no one to save me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
love people, especially the people in my inner circle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, I tend to gravitate toward the lonely,
the broken, the damaged, the hurting, and the forgotten – because that’s how I
feel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love people the way I want to be
loved. I invest in people the way I want to be invested into, and I see people
the way I would want to be seen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>BUT –
it doesn’t happen that way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They don’t
love me, they don’t invest into me, and they don’t see me<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>- they don’t even see themselves – and I
know that, but I have had this foolish notion that my love would be all they
need and it would show them the way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">So,
my resolution this year, No - a vow to myself, is to invest in ME, love ME, and
see ME.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My heart wants to help others–
but my mind is ready to fight this round this year. I’ve put on my running
shoes, picked up my shield, and in order to protect myself I have readied my
feet to be quick to walk away from these certain types of people and let my
mouth be swift to say, “No.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to
put me first. I’ve been broken and my soul has been crushed, and I won’t be one
damned bit of good to someone else until I’ve healed. This isn’t going to be
easy for me, but I know it’s what I need to do. For those I walk away from –
you’re just going to have to forgive me. If you can’t – I’m sorry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Bright"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Lucida Bright";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dust off my Adventure List and start ticking
off some more of those boxes. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">If
you’ve known me for any certain of time, then you have heard about my Adventure
List – a list of Adventures that I want to do or experience before my time
expires on this earth, or I get to old or feeble to complete them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To some, they call it their ‘bucket list’,
but I believe life should be one series of adventures after the next.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I started my Adventure List – and then I put
others’ needs before my own and my List has been collecting dust. THAT is the
only thing I am ashamed of these past few years. I had made a promise to
myself, and looking back over the past 4 years, I’ve realized I have neglected
that promise. If someone comes into my life – they MUST care about me enough to
help me fulfill my dream, not ask me to choose between them. THIS is part of
that anger I’m feeling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve never come
first – it seems …not even from myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
have a lump in my throat right now because this is one of those bitter truths I’ve
had to face – I never come first, MY wants and needs have never been put first.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I’m
dusting off and going to update my list over the next few months – you’ll
probably see a bunch of blog posts <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>about
it as I start to tick off those boxes, and I’m shifting my focus – have already
shifted my focus – to fulfilling my adventures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Getting Anthony shipped off to the Navy is at the top. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Bright"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Lucida Bright";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Live ALONE.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">My
door is no longer open to ANYONE.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m
sorry – but I can’t do it anymore. I’ve literally given up my privacy, my
space, my life, my room, my time, my goals<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>- to provide and take care of the needs of others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My children are grown and capable of taking
care of themselves. I’m in no committed relationship with anyone. My door is
not open. My sign reads: “No Vacancy”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
next time I live with someone will be because I have made a vow to share my
life with someone, and I don’t see that ever happening. If I have a friend in
need, I will work hard finding them somewhere ELSE to go, but it will not be
with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m done taking care of the
world. My dog Bella is the only being that will live with me. I don’t want a
roommate. I want peace. I want space. I want my fortress of solitude.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Bright"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Lucida Bright";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Write More<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Bright"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Lucida Bright";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Play More Music<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Bright"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Lucida Bright";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Read More<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Bright"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Lucida Bright";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Paint More<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Bright"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Lucida Bright";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Explore More<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Bright"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Lucida Bright";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">10.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Laugh More<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Till
next time, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">~T.L.
Gray<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-83063883280155042872019-12-09T07:37:00.000-05:002019-12-09T07:37:04.261-05:00Being Motivated<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2-7h8nR9cIs/Xe4_5DFph6I/AAAAAAAAgo8/aSU_2jCXfHQQcGdi77wD-EgzttT-h8vYwCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Discipline%2Bequals%2BFreedom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="546" data-original-width="1024" height="170" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2-7h8nR9cIs/Xe4_5DFph6I/AAAAAAAAgo8/aSU_2jCXfHQQcGdi77wD-EgzttT-h8vYwCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Discipline%2Bequals%2BFreedom.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Being
motivated doesn’t have much to do with how you feel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can ‘feel’ motivated, but that doesn’t
mean you are actually motivated. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Encouragement
is when you’re having an emotional reaction to some outside stimulus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’ve heard a good word, you watched someone
else achieve something and you want it for yourself, you’ve been encouraged by
friends, family, doctors, co-workers, lovers, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s all great, we all need encouragement
at times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We sometimes need someone to
get in our face and tell us some hard truths, or whisper in our ear and plant
dreams and ideas of something better than our current situation or state of
being.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, motivation is not an
emotion, it’s a state of being.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
dictionary states: the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a
particular way; the general desire or willingness of someone to do something. It
doesn’t say you feel good or feel bad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Feeling
good and/or feeling bad will drive the motivation, but it’s not the motivation.
Motivation is the reason for the decision – it’s the driving force behind our
actions in spite of how we feel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those
actions will either make us feel good or bad, but our feelings are not our motivation.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Being
motivated - making a decision for whatever reason – is not contingent on how we
feel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We don’t act because we are
motivated, we are motivated to act because of decisions we make.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Motivation
is a choice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Motivation must be decided,
and enacted, and that is done through discipline.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not motivated to work out because of how
I feel. I am motivated because the facts are - I must work out to maintain a
healthy state of being for my body.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes
I ‘feel’ like working out and conquering the world, and other times I “feel” like
lying in bed, eating pizza and hamburgers and being fed bon-bon’s by a handsome
king.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, my feelings are not what
motivates me to get up every morning at 4am and head to the gym to work out –
my knowledge and understanding of what it takes to remain healthy and active
motivates me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being able to physically
do the things I love to do like kayaking, dancing, having sex, etc motivates me
to get up when I’m tired, when my body hurts, when it’s cold, when it’s lonely,
when I didn’t sleep well, when progress is slow, when it doesn’t seem like
anyone else in the world cares.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I go
through the motions anyway – despite my feelings – because my motivation to
achieve what I want is greater than how I’m feeling in the moment. That takes
discipline.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As Jocko Willink says, “If
you stop looking for a short cut …and find your discipline and your will, then
you will find your freedom. Discipline = freedom.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">So,
stop lying to yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stop whining
about not being motivated because you’re feeling lazy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’re not motivated because you haven’t
found your reason.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stop waiting on how
you feel and start looking for your reason, that reason that is going to push
you forward on the days you want to retreat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Start looking for that reason that will drag you on when you want to
give up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Start looking for that reason
that will go beyond how you feel and hold onto it tightly. Put it in front of
you every day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Post it on your mirror,
your fridge, your door, your office computer, your phone so you can see it
every day – and let that TRUTH be your motivation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Till
next time, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">~T.L.
Gray<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-73505604458524217832019-12-04T07:59:00.000-05:002019-12-04T07:59:10.848-05:00Being a Parent<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hua2gAVzjqA/XeetWWqIZdI/AAAAAAAAgTg/QdjcaOxv8IgxaetLERCamPhr6X-MTDNvACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Being%2Ba%2Bparent.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hua2gAVzjqA/XeetWWqIZdI/AAAAAAAAgTg/QdjcaOxv8IgxaetLERCamPhr6X-MTDNvACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Being%2Ba%2Bparent.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">What
is being a parent? Donating sperm or giving birth doesn’t make you a
parent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not donating sperm or giving
birth, also doesn’t make you NOT a parent. Love, kindness, discipline,
sacrifice, giving into the well-being of another human being – that’s what makes
you a parent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">God
has given me many gifts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of all, he
has given me the opportunity on several occasions to be a parent. I haven’t
always been a good parent. I haven’t always made all the right decisions. I have
made some really bad choices and made some really bad mistakes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s no ‘but’ in that, either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve learned some things along the way,
mostly from my mistakes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suffer still
some of the consequences of those choices and mistakes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I’ve
come a long way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve come a very long
way from being that scared young girl facing the decision of becoming a teen
mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was terrified.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I lived in hell and felt I had no one in this
world I could trust.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had no one to
take care of me. Yet, there was this life growing inside of me – a defenseless
child that I would be responsible to care for, to protect, and to provide
simple everyday things. I couldn’t even provide those things for myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had dreams. I had an escape plan to run off
to the military that was going to take me away from the abuse I lived under and
secure me a future – but if I chose her – I couldn’t escape – not yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were days I hated the choices I had. There
were times I wanted to give up, to die, especially when I was ridiculed and
called names at school (Yes, I was that popular high-school slut wobbling down
the halls everyone felt sorry for, or made fun of, or called names, or glared
at with their disapproving eyes.) Yet, every time I felt my daughter move
within my stomach, my hands would cradle my big belly and hope would grow –
hope for a great life, a good future, a little bit of love in my dark gray
world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would pay the price to make it
happen – no matter what it cost me. I was young (16), scared, and didn’t know ANYTHING
about being a parent. Hell, I didn’t even know how to be an adult. So, I made
some mistakes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, everything I did – I
did in love – love for her – love for the hope that she was going to one day
bring into this world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t care how
she was made – I’m the one that made the decision to bring her into this
world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>EVERYONE I knew wanted me to give
her up or abort her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The religious didn’t
want me to have an abortion, but they didn’t want me to raise her either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The rest told me on a regular basis I was
wasting my life, sacrificing my future, giving up my freedom when I had another
choice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t know much, but I
already loved her and I wanted her – so I chose her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It kills me that as an adult she doesn’t
choose me, but I still have hope, and not for a millisecond regret my choice. She’s
a beautiful, loving, kind woman and I am so proud of her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
have two other children, who are also now adults, who make me smile every time I
hear their voice, or see their texts, or video chat, or am able to wrap my arms
around and hug them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also have the
most beautiful grand-daughter. I love them with a love that is indescribable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not because I gave birth to them or
genetically related to them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not because
they’re good human beings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, for
love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The love I feel from them and for
them. That love isn’t granted just because of genetics.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I never had that love for or from my
parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not ONCE, not EVER did they
ever hug me – and if they had, I would have not felt that love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My parents gave birth to me, but they were
not parents – they were manipulative abusers that took a long time for me to
escape.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
now have another child, another chance to be a mother to someone who needs a
mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I look at this kid and see the
manipulation and emotional abuse he’s been through and I remember that lost,
scared, angry little girl I used to be – and I try to be the mother I needed,
the friend I could have used, and the love that was desperately missing in my
life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe he won’t have to face the
same hard choices I had to face – and he will make better decisions, and his
life will reach even greater opportunities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Most of all – he is loved. Every day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am hard on him, I don’t let him get away with anything, and every day
is a constant learning lesson – because I want him to be a good man. I want to
teach him the things of this world that is going to make him a descent, caring,
productive, and good man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I find it
ironic - He now has the opportunity to escape his abusers and run off to the
military and secure himself a future.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Being
a parent is hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s sacrifice. It’s
constant love, constant worry, constant energy, constant demand, constant
giving of your time, your focus, your life, your space, your money, your peace,
and your choices. It’s about providing what is NEEDED, not wanted. It’s
providing a place of understanding, communication, and learning – constantly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t give up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to give up at least once a day – but he’s
worth it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is worth every little
inconsequential sacrifice. Just like my daughter was worth it. Just like my
other two children were worth it. Just like my grandbaby was worth it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Love is worth it. Hope is worth it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Being
a parent is a privilege, not a right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There
are some really shitty parents out there. I’ve been one at times, but I wouldn’t
change one single solitary moment, not even the bad moments – because it was
from those moments I learned most.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
didn’t give birth to Anthony, but I am his parent, I am his mother – because I
love him and he’s worth everything I do for him. I get the best part of this
relationship – his love in return. That is being a parent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those who pour love into him …are his mothers
and fathers, not genetics. This young man is lucky – because he is now being
surrounded by people pouring love, life lessons, instruction, and encouragement
into him (thank you Scott).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When he gets
into the Navy he is going to be surrounded by new brothers and a new family …and
once again I am filled with hope. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Till
next time, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">~T.L.
Gray<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-39899738143966928692019-12-03T07:54:00.000-05:002019-12-03T07:54:23.127-05:00Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UO8fdxSpWTU/XeZarOapbkI/AAAAAAAAgR8/KhG8Ocx482A0D3Ns6ns48b8BypjiLDsGACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Whos%2BAfraid.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="488" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UO8fdxSpWTU/XeZarOapbkI/AAAAAAAAgR8/KhG8Ocx482A0D3Ns6ns48b8BypjiLDsGACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Whos%2BAfraid.jpg" width="216" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Who’s
afraid of the big bad wolf? Me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
had a dream a few nights ago about Red knowing the wolf for he was, yet she
still feigned ignorance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He called her
on it, yet she still denied the truth of his character, his intent, his danger
up until the moment he attacked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my
dream version, the Wolf devours Red. I understand the fairy tale has a happy
ending with the Huntsman showing up and destroying the wolf and saving Red, but
we all know that’s not how it plays out in reality.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s never a Huntsman to save us from our
own ignorance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
don’t blame, Red. I fear of being like her. I fear being just as naïve, just as
stupid, just as blind, or be just as deceived. Wolves are cunning and they seem
to be getting better and better at stalking their prey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
hate wolves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not the four-legged
beautiful amazing creatures that live in the wild, but the predators who live next
door – I’m talking about the deceivers, agents of deception, liars, cheaters,
users, and vampires.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m talking about
the cold-hearted, callus, selfish predators who destroy the souls of other
human beings with their games.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The world
is full of male and she-wolves, but God I pray not to be a Red, yet fear there’s
more of her in me than I want to admit. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
don’t have a problem seeing wolves. I see them. I smell them. I recognize when
they’re tracking, hunting, and stalking me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I get their deceptive messages, I smell their scent of betrayal, yet I
still walk through the dangerous forest alone, I still tell strangers my destination,
I still trollop through the tulips with my basket of bread, with not much
regard for my safety.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being safe is being
guarded, being suspect, being armored, and being cold and hard as steel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve been there. I’ve done that – and it didn’t
protect me. A wolf disguised himself as another warrior and got me to lay my
armor down before he decided to chew me up and leave me for dead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, even protected I was not safe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being aware, being awake, seeing the truth, and
learning how to walk away, to change direction, to evade and avoid …is all I
can really hope to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My weapons is now
truth – by living in the light, not lurking in the shadows.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wolves don’t like the light and they can’t
play hide and seek or stalk prey sufficiently in the open.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, I don’t hide. If a wolf comes at me, he
will have to come at me in the light – and he will be met with a survivor who knows
how to fight back, not a victim. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
hate the wolves of this world – both men and women.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Liars, deceivers, con-artists, players, users
and manipulators destroy the souls of men and women more than anything else in
this world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">“Grandma,
what big eyes you have – do you see me, because I see you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">“Grandma,
what big ears you have – can you hear me? You will hear me roar.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">“Grandma,
what big teeth you have – mine are sharper. You will feel my bite!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Who’s
afraid of the big bad wolf? I am – not that it could or would hurt me – I only
fear being naïve to not recognize him before it’s too late. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Till
next time, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">~T.L.
Gray<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-81240769955143947832019-11-25T07:51:00.000-05:002019-11-25T07:53:21.340-05:00I'm Learning to Let Go<br />
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<span style="font-family: "lucida bright" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I’m
learning to let go. It’s hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every
time I’ve ever walked away from someone or something, left a relationship, lost
a loved one, or watched my children leave to find their own way in this world,
it takes a piece of me. What I’m learning I grieve most is not often the
familiarity or the presence, but the dreams that were dreamed, the hopes that
held deep in my heart, and the love that was attached to that person or thing
or place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think that’s why when it
comes to my children – their growing up and moving on is bitter-sweet, because
the hope that’s wrapped up with them is still possible, it’s within their
independence and journey in life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But,
losing someone to death, disease, divorce or a break-up leaves a huge hole in
my soul.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "lucida bright" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I’m
learning to let go. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s
complicated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t like giving up on
myself or on people I love and care about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Often though I fall into an unhealthy situation when my hope and love
for them begins to effect and become destructive to me. I hate losing. I’m the
biggest optimist in the world, even when my mouth is often filled with Doubt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I struggle, because my heart, my mind, my
experience, my common sense will often scream one thing – yet Optimism and Hope
will be in war with those thoughts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m
sometimes wrong, and someone or something will surprise me and turn out for the
better and Hope will celebrate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, the
realist inside me – the one who carried the pain, the scars, the doubts, and the
cautious pessimism – hates to be right because she understands that when she’s
right she damages hope and optimism.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
fears she may one day find they no longer have the strength to rise again as
they have so many times before. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "lucida bright" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I’m
learning to let go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s devastating. I’ve
searched my whole life to be loved and wanted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But, those are the two things that have escaped me most.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m damaged.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’m broken.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m sometimes still
that little girl crying out to God trying to understand why I suffer, why I’m
hated and hurt so much from the people who are supposed to love me, why my own
parents and children have rejected me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
let them go, but I always held out hope they would someday choose me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, even in that – I’m learning to let go. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "lucida bright" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I
can’t make the world love me. I can’t make someone choose me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can only hope and try to remain
optimistic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, eventually – if that
choosing never comes and love never appears – I will walk away because I have
chosen me, and I have learned to love myself - and no matter how much Hope wills
it – I will only endure for a season.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
have learned to walk way. I have now walked many miles alone. I may always be
alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But Hope and Optimism keep
praying, keep smiling, and keeps trying = and I love them for it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "lucida bright" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I
am learning let go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe someday I’ll
not have to anymore.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "lucida bright" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Till
next time, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "lucida bright" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">~T.L.
Gray<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-42687696356946355252019-11-20T05:54:00.000-05:002019-11-20T05:54:20.933-05:00Breaking Necks and Being SingleBeing single today is hard, even if you're considered "pretty". Being single over 45 (I'm 48) is even harder. At this age I know more of what I don't want than what I do. I know more of what I need than what I don't. I know more of what I can tolerate than what I can't or refuse to tolerate.<br />
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One of the biggest signs you're getting older is when you catch yourself saying often, "What is happening to society today? What hapoened to ..." then fill in the blank. Well, whatever happened to respect, kindness, decency, and 'courting'? Yes, I said an old word ...courting.<br />
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I'm not really old-fashioned, nor am I narrow-minded. But, when does being a cheap piece of shit become the norm? Do those methods really work? Are women so low-minded in today's society they allow themselves to be treated as objects, cheap pieces of meat, bitches-n-ho's, and flavor-of-the-week-bae's?<br />
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I want to scream, "I'm not that easy. I'm not a piece of meat you can go to the grocery store and buy prepackaged. I'm wild, and I run really well, and my senses are sharp. Only the best tracker and skilled hunter will be able to even know I'm around, much less catch me. If you want simple and easy, you're in the wrong place."<br />
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I am currently not married, therefore I'm single. But, it appears that having the label 'single' is an invitation to every perverted, desperate-deginerate on the planet. I say planet because inappropriate messages, comments, and unsolicited pics and requests come from all over the world. So, its not just an American Asshole issue.<br />
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I'm a nice person. Any of you who have read my blog or posts for any length of time knows that I'm a very open, honest, and kind person. I fill my life with purpose, positive habits, and hobbies, and spend most of my time looking for the bright side, the hope side, and the victorious side of things. Most of all, I'm respectful. However, there seems to be another underlying cue to men that being nice, or saying a kind or encouraging word, or liking a meme or quote is a signal for flirting and open season on all the bullshit listed above.<br />
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I post a selfie every morning. That's another story, a long battle, and something Ive blogged about before. My selfies are for ME. They are not an advertisement to solicit 'other' kind of pictures for a viewing audience. Yet, I get asked regularly. Does that really work? Is the porn industry so hard that men seek their porn for free. Do women not value themselves enough not to be some perverts' flavor of the minute? You know damned well they are asking EVERY woman they message for their pics too ...you're just another set of titties. Before I get bombarded with comments ...I don't think there's anything wrong with a couple to share pics with one another. I believe it's a wonderful tool to keep things spicy in a beautiful relationship. But when a man doesn't even know my name asks me for a 'sexy pic', I literally get disgusted. I have resting-bitch-face. You should see my expression when that happens. Believe me, no one will mistake my thoughts or feelings on the matter. Most often though, besides being disgusted, I'm disappointed. I'm saddened and now regard that man as having a mental handicap, regardless of his education or success.<br />
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I don't want to be disappointed or ashamed of men. I love men. I know so many great men. I know real life gentlemen, true heroes, great fathers, wonderful brothers, and spectacular sons. I love and admire their capabilities, their strengths, and their physique. I want to be proud of every one of them, so it hurts to see some of them fall so low over something so fucking stupid.<br />
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...and the women. I cry! I cry almost daily when I see the state of women. I am a feminist and have fought for the rights and dignity of women my whole life, starting with my severely abused and handicapped mother. I am a survivor, not a victim. History has not been kind to women. Most of the world is still cruel to women. But the most abusive, demeaning, and detrimental species to women are other women. The most cruel, abusive, demeaning and detrimental species to men is women. Before you women spam me with hate mail, think about it, honestly, and you'll see I'm right.<br />
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I love women. No, I'm no homosexual or bisexual, but that doesn't mean I don't respect those sexual choices. I just know what I like, and I'm attracted to warriors, often bearded badasses dripping with confidence. It's just my preference. But, I love the beauty, the nurturing kindness, the inner strength, the fighter spirit, the ability to see potential in simplicity, and the healing nature of women. I believe women are the strongest beings on this planet. We can often survive what would break the toughest of warriors. But to see a woman debase herself to accept the behavior, advances, and demeaning treatment makes me sick. And when I see a woman do the same thing to others, makes me angry. There are so many I literally want to beat the stupid out of them. Women are the neck of society. We turn the head, we connect the head to the body. The state of things lay more at the feet of women more than anything, and I want to break a few necks everytime I get a rude, suggestive, or disrespectful message.<br />
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Bottom line - everyone is responsible for their own actions regardless of influence. I'm responsible to not allow that disrespect in my life. So, if you're that way toward me and I delete, turn down, or block you - suck it up Butter Cup and try to be a better person.<br />
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It's great being single, but it also sucks. Most of all, it's most important being a good person, to have integrity, and be filled with respect for myself and others. Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-28307089605814390172019-11-18T07:53:00.000-05:002019-11-18T07:53:19.733-05:00To Thine Own Self Be True<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Shakespeare
may have penned the phrase, but it’s a truth that’s existed before he wrote Hamlet,
and one that has taken me a long time to comprehend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I haven’t yet mastered it, but I’m working on
it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I’m
finding the only way finding and being true to myself is possible …is by being
completely honest with myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am more
than capable of lying to myself. I was a master at it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I were to bet or guess, I would say that a
majority of us lie to ourselves quite often, rarely identifying and accepting
the truth, because truth hurts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Truth is
hard to take sometimes. Truth is hard to face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But, as the Good Book says, Truth will set you free. It really
will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It won’t make your problems
magically disappear, but it will set you free so that you can begin the journey
of living an honest life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">How
can we live a true and honest life if we won’t face the truths in our lives? We
want and demand truth from others, but how hypocritical of us if we don’t FIRST
find, accept, and acknowledge truth within ourselves?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are living in such an enabled society,
where we even lie to ourselves because the truth is harsh and a hard pill to
swallow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not OUR fault we are fat,
lazy, and unhealthy and out of shape.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s
society’s fault for making it too hard to eat healthy, by making poor meal choices
more affordable and convenient.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s the
Fast Food and marketing industries’ fault for my lack of self-control and
discipline.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is my cultural and
socio-economical circumstances’ fault that I can’t afford personal trainers,
gym memberships, and beautiful parks and recreation centers to work out. It’s
our genetics’ fault that I have to work twice as hard as my skinny
counterpart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s time’s fault I have
poor time management because I put other things in a higher priority<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>- like watching tv, sitting in restaurants,
playing video games, chatting online or scrolling through social media outlets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have
kids and don’t have the time and energy and money and opportunity. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">We
all have excuses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all cling to them
when we want to justify our behavior, and then we moan and complain when we
have to face the consequences of those decisions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s the truth of the matter. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">We
all have the same 24 hours a day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all
have obstacles in the path of what we need or desire in our lives. It may seem
unfair when we try to compare ourselves to others and their opportunities. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most often we tell the biggest lie to
ourselves – “if I had the same opportunity as them ...then I would.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>LIAR.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You
don’t do it now – you won’t do then – you won’t do it even if you had EVERY advantage
because you are NOT true to yourself FIRST.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">When
we truly have a passion for something, we make it a priority.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we make something a priority, we have to
take a truthful evaluation of where we were, where we are, and where we want to
be – and THEN make some REALISTIC, honest, truthful goals – and then do
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>DO THEM.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One day at a time. One step at a time. One
victory at a time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One choice after the
next, after then next, after the next – and NEVER GIVE UP. Don’t focus on the
big goal, put all your focus on just making it to the next goal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Be faithful in the little things …and you
will be the master of many things. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
be unfaithful in the little things, you will also be unfaithful in the big
things, and master nothing. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Success
isn’t that you’ve gained something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>True
success is when something has cost you – something you had to sacrifice a piece
of yourself to obtain – and being true to yourself along the journey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>THAT’s the true success of anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Life
sucks sometimes. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean it really,
painfully, soul-crushing, can’t breathe, pushes you to the edge sucks
sometimes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve had my share – and I
know there’s more to come later.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the
best things I’ve ever accomplished in this life is learning to love myself,
learning to see myself for who I really am, and then learning to be proud of
the woman I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It isn’t my MBA, or my
writing awards, or my publications, or my public praise, or anything I’ve
accomplished that makes me proud of myself. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, that confidence and pride comes from
knowing what it took to get there – knowing the truths I’ve had to face – and being
true to ME. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">You
want to get in shape – face your truth and stop making excuses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">You
want a better job – face your truth and stop making excuses. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">You
want a better relationship – face your truth and stop making excuses. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">You
want to be happy – face your truth and stop making excuses. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">You
want to succeed – face your truth and stop making excuses. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">To
thine own self be true!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Till
next time, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">~T.L.
Gray<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-3897020368893648872019-09-19T07:33:00.000-04:002019-09-19T07:33:00.472-04:00Good - Get After ItYou're probably going to see this a lot in the near future, because when I heard Jocko Willink give this little speech on his podcast on YouTube, it hit me - deep in my bones and it's burning it's way into the center of my soul. I hear Jocko's voice, but I feel God's prodding. <br />
<br />
<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/IdTMDpizis8" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
Listen to it. <br />
<br />
Listen to it again.<br />
<br />
Listen to it every morning when you first wake up.<br />
<br />
Listen to it with your heart and soul.<br />
<br />
Listen to it with purpose.<br />
<br />
Listen to it until you get it.<br />
<br />
Then, when you get it ...listen to it some more.<br />
<br />
This speaks to the Warrior in me.<br />
<br />
Till next time,<br />
<br />
~T.L. Gray<br />
<br />
<br />Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-21701275228376285212019-09-12T07:42:00.001-04:002019-09-12T07:42:40.410-04:00Finding My Purpose<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SNLMTQ6cEKw/XXovAZ0xSmI/AAAAAAAAduI/dLR871RJHJ08hnCFi0l_50BBBU0C-ksyACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Finding%2BMy%2BPurponse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SNLMTQ6cEKw/XXovAZ0xSmI/AAAAAAAAduI/dLR871RJHJ08hnCFi0l_50BBBU0C-ksyACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Finding%2BMy%2BPurponse.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Feeling
lost is no picnic. I really think it is the leading cause of depression. It’s
at least a feeling I have to deal with from time to time. I’m a pretty positive
person, full of energy, jam-packed with ambition, and overflowing with drive …on
most days. I’m almost always busy, almost always going, almost never sitting
still, and almost never bored …almost. My brain NEVER rests. There are some
days I feel lost, drained, lonely, and completely unfocused. Shhh, don’t tell
anyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s our little secret. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">But,
why?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why do I go through those
emotions?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it chemical? Is it
physical? Is it mental? Is it genetic? Is it psychosomatic? Is it part of my
PTSD? Is it hormonal fluctuations as I age further into menopause? It could be
one, all, or a combination. I don’t always know the root cause. But, and this
is a big but (sort of like my backside), I notice most often those feelings of
depression, being tired, drained and lonely surface most when I’m without a
purpose, when I’m in the transition from one purpose or the other, when life
shifts and my needs and wants change – because that’s when my purpose changes,
when my goals change, when my priorities have to be rearranged, when my
emotions fluctuate and when my daily stresses and requirements shift. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
am a blessed, healthy, smart, capable, gifted and well-loved woman. I ‘should’
be happy ALL THE TIME.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m passionate …about
EVERYTHING, I’m an empath, an artist, and a philosophical thinker – so I feel
deeply about EVERYTHING – good and bad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My joy is amazing, yet my grief is brutal, my love is overwhelming, yet my
mistrust is deep-rooted, my belief is strong, yet my faith is full of doubt,
I’m a walking, breathing contradiction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But,
God have mercy when I find purpose – because when I do, my focus becomes
laser-sharp, my ambition becomes great, my gifts kick into action, and there’s
literally NOTHING I can’t do that I set my heart and mind to accomplish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My mustard-seed faith becomes activated, my
strength builds, my courage grows, and I become unstoppable. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
amaze myself sometimes when I think of the things I’ve accomplished, the things
I’ve overcome, the things I’ve survived, and the experiences (both good and
bad) that I’ve had, and how they have shaped the woman I am today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m only 48, but I’ve already lived an
amazingly horrific wonderful scary exciting life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to live another 48 years filled with even
more adventures, accomplishments, experiences, and love …most of all love. Yet,
I’ve done most of it alone, even when I was married or in close relationships I
chased my passions alone. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
have loved very deeply, and I want to be loved just as deeply. I want to find a
purpose that fuels me, but for this half of my life I want to share that
purpose, drive, and passion with someone who loves me, wants me, and wants
share their passions with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have had
many purposes in my life – daughter, sister, protector, mother, fiancé, wife,
friend, student, cheerleader, fighter, worker, manger, boss, entrepreneur, reporter,
gamer, survivor, teacher, humanitarian, coordinator, leader, singer/song-writer/musician,
author, speaker, coach, editor, agent, buyer, step-mother, and girlfriend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What’s next? When I find my next purpose –
watch out, because I will be unstoppable. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Till
next time, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">~T.L.
Gray<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-26658413232260457352019-09-10T07:53:00.000-04:002019-09-10T07:53:36.120-04:00Keep Moving<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Icu3ffNvAgk/XXeOd8oTszI/AAAAAAAAdr4/zAFhG0T_SCwkh-v-Q8dzn5coMj026gebACLcBGAs/s1600/Keep%2BMoving.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="1024" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Icu3ffNvAgk/XXeOd8oTszI/AAAAAAAAdr4/zAFhG0T_SCwkh-v-Q8dzn5coMj026gebACLcBGAs/s320/Keep%2BMoving.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0in;">While
my imagination loves fairy tales, magic, and the miraculous, my mind
understands reality, and the reality is that if I want something or I want
something to happen in my life I have to do it, to make it happen, make the
choices needed, and then act on them.</span><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0in;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0in;">Money doesn’t just magically appear in my bank account - never, not once
did I find any extra currency in there – though I swear often that there’s an
invisible troll taking a toll every time I use it.</span><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0in;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0in;">Fat doesn’t magically dissolve in my body, though
I sometimes think it magically appears. We know that isn’t the truth either.</span><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0in;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0in;">Relationship’s don’t just begin or end
without effort and/or neglect.</span><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0in;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0in;">That
reminds me of a meme I saw one time about cheating where a guy trips and falls
on top of a woman exclaiming, “It was an accident!” </span><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0in;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0in;">No, the accident happened with the momentum of
texting, talking, smiling, and flirting.</span><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0in;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0in;">That’s when the cheating first began.</span><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0in;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0in;">By the time he ‘tripped’, he was already deep into the betrayal. There’s
no accident about it.</span><span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0in;"> </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">What
I’m trying to convey here is that I have to make a plan and set goals, make
preparations for those plans and goals, make the choices that will help me
achieve those plans and goals, and then have the strength and discipline to
fulfill them regardless of how I feel or of convenience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nothing just magically happens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Check marks don’t just appear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, sometimes the universe will bring me a
surprise, but for the most part there are laws that govern this world much the
way our natural laws govern our science and nature.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Facts are facts. Those laws are that we reap
what we’ve sown.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The key is …we have to
sow. We have to plant. We have to water. We have to make sure we get the right
amount of sunlight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have to protect
our gardens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have to pull up our own
weeds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have to make sure we put the
right kind of shit in the ground. We can’t plant one thing, yet expect it to
grow something else, though we do. Man, I can’t tell you how many times I see
this on a daily basis – this belief in reverse magic, in magical harvests, in expecting
and wanting what we didn’t plant, earn or deserve.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s crazy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Our society is so franchised, so drive-through, so … I want it my way,
and I want it now, but don’t ask me to plant, grow, etc. I want YOU to prepare
it for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just want to lay back in my
perfect body, consume what I want, when I want, not face a consequence, not
lift a finger, not work for it, and yet have the strength and blessings of the
gods. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How arrogant we are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet, we will tell ourselves that’s NOT what
we expect. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Come
on, be real. Isn’t it what we expect? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">This
world is a beautiful and ugly place at the same time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Over the past few weeks I have seen many,
many, many examples of love, compassion, charity, respect, and bravery from
people – and I’ve seen selfishness, hate, fear, depravity and gluttonous greed.
Life is complex and complicated in its simplicity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But somewhere in the balance there is
peace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
have to keep moving. I have to keep working, and hoping, and praying, and expecting,
and sowing, and reaping.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to keep
making choices every day that are going to help me or hinder me, bring me life
or frustration, to help me thrive or knock me off course. If I fall, I have to
choose to get back up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I run, I have
to learn to rest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I fear, I have to
be brave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I’m empty, I have to fill
myself. If I have the opportunity to love, I choose love. I have to keep
dreaming, I have to keep planning, and I have to keep seeking my balance, my
peace, and my happiness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As much as I
wish I could say a magic word and it be done, I know that’s not the reality of
it – and I have to keep moving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In this
selfish world, my joy comes from choosing to love, to find purpose, to give,
and to serve. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to choose it. I
have to do it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I decide to make my bed
first thing in the morning, to love instead of run in fear, and then take the
next step, and then the step after that, and so on. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to keep moving - THAT’s when I’m most
happy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Till
next time, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">~T.L.
Gray<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-70293774658192218322019-09-09T07:03:00.000-04:002019-09-09T07:03:32.473-04:00The Dead Don't Scare<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pncIxczxurI/XXYxC1wURdI/AAAAAAAAdrs/c4bVciyb_EsNXar_SDT4SSI0h7xBL1T8ACLcBGAs/s1600/The%2BDead%2BDon%2527t%2BScare.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pncIxczxurI/XXYxC1wURdI/AAAAAAAAdrs/c4bVciyb_EsNXar_SDT4SSI0h7xBL1T8ACLcBGAs/s320/The%2BDead%2BDon%2527t%2BScare.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
went to church for the first time in a long time yesterday, and it felt good. I
miss singing praise and worship. I miss the feeling of fellowship of being in
the assembly. I still don’t miss the ministry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I don’t know if I ever will. Anyway, the message was good, reiterated a
lot of things I had heard before, reminded me of things I haven’t thought about
in a long time, but most of all reassured me that my heart was still in the
right place and focused on the right things … loving myself as Christ loves me,
and loving my neighbor as myself. But there was a new thought, a new idea that
planted seed in my heart and mind, and that is …the dead don’t scare.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Dead
people are not afraid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dead people don’t
worry and are not moved by circumstances.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I get what the pastor was trying to convey – that since we are now ‘dead’
to our old life, we should not be afraid of the worries in this life, because
we are now ‘alive’ in Christ by faith, and He’s got our back. When storms,
either hurricanes or emotional train wrecks, come into our lives, we are to
respond as ‘dead’ people to those fears and stand fearless in faith.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I get it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am not good at it, because most of my life responsibility has fallen
on me, and when I’m responsible – I fear failure, I fear struggle, and I fear
pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve learned, just because I’m ‘in
Christ’ doesn’t mean I’m going to be spared from failure, struggle and
pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On the contrary – I think I feel
them more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, it’s hard not to
fear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t fear the circumstances, I
fear the repercussions, the cost, and the sacrifices that are often
required.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They’re hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
see a different side of that phrase, perhaps as a cautionary tale …dead people
don’t scare because they don’t care. I’ve been hurt too many times from
narcissists and sociopaths, quite frequently by both the last couple of
years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can have all the care in the
world, but we can’t save the world. We can do our part, through our compassion,
but we have to do it in balance, not just for their need, but for our need as
well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe I have this need and
love deep inside me to help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I try to
look at the world and be the kind of person that I needed when I was
younger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had no help. I had no one. I
truly know what it feels like to be in this world unwanted and unloved, discarded,
abused, and not matter to a single living soul. It’s not that way anymore. I
have many people who love me, many people who care about me, but that feeling
never leaves me; I never forget. It pushes me to care about the abused, the
suffering, the neglected, and the forgotten.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I don’t jump on a cause bandwagon to be seen as caring and generous, or
because it’s the fashionable thing to do. I’ve been giving, volunteering,
helping, nurturing, raising, and taking care of people my whole life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not easy, and I sure as hell don’t
placate and patronize.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some people don’t
“need” help - they’re predators, lazy, and/or liars.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have NO sympathy for them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, I will do and give anything for someone
struggling and giving everything they’ve got to pull themselves out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t give hand-outs, but I’m always
willing to give a hand-up. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Yesterday,
I got to see a group of dedicated people unafraid of the dangers or sacrifices
it took to help send aide to the Bahama’s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This group of men and women gathered their own resources, used their own
boats, trucks, contacts, money and time to gather, sort, and pack aide.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were not part of a big organization,
wasn’t looking for photo ops, or wearing colored-coded matching identifying
shirts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These were local folks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Amongst them were three brave combat veterans
geared up, with smiles on their faces, to take relief supplies to the suffering
people of the Bahamas amongst pirates and desperate people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s dangerous to show up with a bunch of
medicine, food, and supplies in an area devastated by a natural disaster, where
looting and piracy is running rampant, and with no protection of a government
or military aide.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet, they had NO
FEAR.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All I saw was a desire to get the
supplies to their destination as quick as possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will post more about this Bahama’s 2019
Relief effort more in another blog post, because I want to spotlight these
beautiful souls doing this great work, so stayed tuned later this week.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Until
then, I’ll be thinking about fear, and how I tackle it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I fear many things, and that’s natural.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What I want to be able to do is control how I
respond to that fear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That requires a
deeper look.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Until then, I just have to
keep thinking about how the dead don’t scare.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Till
next time, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">~T.L.
Gray<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-91243277108801450142019-08-23T07:35:00.000-04:002019-08-23T07:35:31.140-04:00Progress<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5d78E-n4NRI/XV_PPlae_QI/AAAAAAAAdkE/YAmG8neMEGEBemfHQPG5dvqGV8CcqPUWgCLcBGAs/s1600/Progress.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="474" data-original-width="474" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5d78E-n4NRI/XV_PPlae_QI/AAAAAAAAdkE/YAmG8neMEGEBemfHQPG5dvqGV8CcqPUWgCLcBGAs/s320/Progress.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Ever
heard the old adage, “If it’s too easy, you’re not reading the fine print?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or yet a better one, “If it’s too good to be
true, it often isn’t?” There’s always a catch when it comes to shortcuts,
especially when it comes to dreams and big obstacles that come into our lives. We
are a Burger King world where we want it our way and we want it now. But, life
will remind us that it’s not always good to have things ‘our way’ and patience
really is a virtue. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Right
now I’m working on a couple goals, and healing from a huge obstacle that had
been in my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not making huge
strides, but I am making positive progress, and that’s what matters most.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d love to have the speed of the rabbit, but
I’m learning the steady pace of the turtle will win my race.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
write this blog, and post my posts on social media, and my smiling selfies, not
so I can shout out to the world to look at me and see what I’m doing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I write to me, and I post to me, as a way to remind
myself where I am, where I’ve been, and where I’m going.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s so I can track my progress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How do I know if I’m moving forward unless I
have these little reminders that mark my journey?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Some
think I’m being narcissistic or vain, but I really don’t give a shit what they
think. The only people whose opinion truly matters know who they are in my
life. They know where I’ve come from, where I want to go, and encourage me
every step of the way forward toward progress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>One of the best things I’ve done for myself these past several months
was to remove myself from the toxic, judgmental, self-righteous selfishness
that beat me down every day. I have surrounded myself with beautiful, loving,
kind, considerate, thoughtful, generous, smart, and driven people – because I
needed it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was exhausted and broken –
and even reached a low point where I just wanted to die so I wouldn’t feel pain
and disappointment anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did my
best, but I realized that nothing I ever did or would do was ever going to
change anything. I was out of place, running the wrong race.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, now I’m free and I am so thankful for
the beautiful people that inspire me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>See, that’s the difference – I’m surround by people that motivate,
encourage, and support me, human beings I’m proud to know who don’t ask
anything of me, don’t use me, and don’t take advantage of me, but only ask for
me to be me and to be happy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
needed to be saved – from myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
needed to be free - so I could rescue myself. I had to start all over again –
from the bottom, but I’m moving up – one small step, one small accomplishment,
one small decision, one small action, and one small moment at a time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m making progress. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Till
next time, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">~T.L.
Gray<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-69733509373612805322019-08-20T07:41:00.000-04:002019-08-20T07:41:06.249-04:00Why Do We Do What We Do?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FWje1t_7jDQ/XVvcH0D1_lI/AAAAAAAAdjE/GHk_Ul6Dis4MeJv89Lpw16esVE9WPmo6wCLcBGAs/s1600/Why-we-do-what-we-do-invitation1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="276" data-original-width="448" height="197" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FWje1t_7jDQ/XVvcH0D1_lI/AAAAAAAAdjE/GHk_Ul6Dis4MeJv89Lpw16esVE9WPmo6wCLcBGAs/s320/Why-we-do-what-we-do-invitation1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Sometimes
there’s a part of us deep inside that reacts and does things that we never
meant or intended to do. I’m an over-thinker and analyzer, and there are many
times I’ve had to question my behavior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I used to look at the behavior itself and then judge because of the
behavior, but I’m learning now to not just “see” what is being done, but try to
understand the why behind it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe
with all my heart that our actions are not the true representative of the good
or evil within us – but the WHY behind them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Why
do we smoke? Why do we cheat? Why do we lie? Why do we feel the need to rescue?
Why do we care? Why do we sacrifice? Why do we hurt others? Why do we protect?
Why do we risk our lives? Why do hide in fear? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The
things we do reveal our true selves more than anything we say, feel, or
think.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve discovered on many occasions
I am not always as I think or believe I am. Sometimes I am stronger and better.
Sometimes I’m weaker and worse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, I
can only see that truth when I question the ‘why’ behind my actions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I’ve
been cheated on, and of course the first question I want to know the answer to
is ‘why’ and then immediately feel or think it’s some sort of deficiency on my
part.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How could he do that or hurt me
that way? Didn’t he love me enough? Was I not what he wanted? How could he want
someone else when I gave him everything? Was I not pretty enough, smart enough,
independent enough, or dependent enough? Am I too smart, too short, too fat, too
demanding, too …anything?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>See how the
cycle goes?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But those are not the questions
we should be asking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s more about the
‘why’ behind his actions – what was going on inside him that he felt the need
or want to go outside the relationship?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What need wasn’t being filled or met within the relationship? Where was
the communication breakdown that didn’t address the problem?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">We
are all responsible for our own actions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The man that cheated on me (no, this hasn’t been recently, just in my
past) was the person responsible for checking himself and his motives before
acting on his impulses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The only
responsibility I had in the situation is to make sure open communication was
present to help identify the problems.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In that, I failed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I let
assumptions, fears, doubts, and suspicions guide me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They may have been true, but that’s no excuse
for not communicating before things got too far.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not responsible for him or his actions –
only my own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But what I do know is that
relationships are HARD.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They take TWO
people who are willing to fight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sometimes one needs to fight harder than the other for a period of time
if they’re going through something, but eventually both need to come back in
balance and be there for each other, and keep those lines of communications
open. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
have lost relationships due to pride, shutting down when the pain came, and
judging my partner because of their actions and not trying to understand their
motives. Understanding a motive doesn’t excuse a behavior, but it may help us
understand how frail, complex, and weak we are as human beings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Judge not, lest we be judged.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before we act, let’s put ourselves in their
situation and see if we can understand the problem, we might just find a
solution. Cheating isn’t the sin – the betrayal of intimacy and trust and not
communicating is the real sin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Till
next time, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">~T.L.
Gray<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-7671542459026140642019-08-19T07:54:00.000-04:002019-08-19T07:54:28.908-04:00Dealing with Loss<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ekJ4SCFVDuw/XVqNutaiY4I/AAAAAAAAdic/E21LeAObUbI5lmJnT76fKzSolSsTTbdaACLcBGAs/s1600/Dealing%2Bwith%2BLoss.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="438" data-original-width="700" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ekJ4SCFVDuw/XVqNutaiY4I/AAAAAAAAdic/E21LeAObUbI5lmJnT76fKzSolSsTTbdaACLcBGAs/s320/Dealing%2Bwith%2BLoss.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Life
is constantly changing and in those changes sometimes things get lost, things
that are essential to our hearts and souls, to our minds and well-being.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would be great if we were able to
accumulate and keep everything and everyone that came into our lives,
especially the people who we love most and who have impacted us most in our
lives, but we can’t. No matter how much we wish it, how much we want it, we
came into this world alone and we will leave it alone, and along the way we
will have to deal with loss.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The
worst pain I ever felt in my life was losing someone I loved, especially because
it was hard for me to love in the first place. It took me so long to open my
heart and let that love in – and then to have it taken from me so quickly. I
still find myself waiting – waiting for someone that is gone in my life to just
walk around the corner and greet me again with that beautiful smile, to<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>speak words of encouragement to me when it
seems like everything and everyone is against me, to tell me I can when I don’t
believe it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, he never comes – and I
keep waiting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even today, after
twenty-six years, I feel this empty space he left behind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, I only have to close my eyes and I can picture
him smiling at me, urging me forward in my life, daring me to take those
chances, and trying to provoke me into giving love another shot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I talk to him all the time, because I know
what he would say to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Right
now someone very special to me, someone I love deeply and care for greatly, is
dealing with a loss and I don’t know how to help him. I know the pain he is in
and I want to tell him it gets easier and eventually the pain goes away, but it
doesn’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to tell him that she’s
in a better place, watching over him, and he will see her again someday, but I
really can’t make that promise either because I don’t know if it’s true or not.
I have faith it is, but it’s not something I can promise. It’s not my call. I
know the emptiness he is feeling inside. I know the questions, and the doubts,
and the fears, and the anger, and the bargaining, and everything else that
comes with grief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m so scared he’s going
to be weak like me and let that pain build a door and a wall that will push
everyone else out – and go through the motions of life but not really live.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, I can’t stop him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s got to be his choice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">What
comforts me when I think about my loss is remembering the smiles, the laughter,
the conversations, and the dreams we built together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I’m hurting or doubting, I hear his
words and his voice pushing me forward and encouraging me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s what I want for Scott – I want him to
think about what ‘she’ would want for him, what ‘she’ would tell him if she was
sitting beside him, what ‘she’ would want him to do. He knows what she would
say. He knows what she would want. And THAT is what I want him to push for, to
strive for, and to make happen in his life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He has a fighting motto – “Find something worth dying for – and then
live for it.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I pray he heeds his own
motto. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Ecclesiastes
3 reads, “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under
the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to
uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to
build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a
time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time
to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and time to mend, a time to be
silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, and time for war
and a time for peace.” Ecclesiastes 3:12: “I know that there is nothing better
for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">That’s
what I want for him – to be happy and to do good while he lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To live in the moment, to live in the day, and
not just merely exist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is in a time
of mourning, but he must look toward the new sun and not dwell on what is gone for
more than a cycle of the moon (30 days) lest it become work of the enemy to
steal his strength and joy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know the
pain of holding on too long. But, what can I say or do?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am helpless because this is his journey,
his walk, and his burden to bear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James
whispers to me when I’m feeling overwhelmed and helpless to do anything to ease
his pain – and reminds me that where there is much grief there is much love.
All I can do is love and pray and wait. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Dealing
with loss is not easy. It hurts. It hurts badly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t save the world from feeling loss, but
perhaps just try to remind it that there is/was/will be love in the world
too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that James loved me and he
always wanted what was best for me – and knowing that, I have tried to live my
life pursing love, pursuing happiness, pursuing the dreams we built
together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want him to be proud of me,
as I have become proud of myself. For my children, when I am gone, I would want
them to be happy, to be loved, to live each day as if it were their last, to
take chances and risks, and to not be afraid to fail and get back up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s what makes life valuable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Till
next time, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">~T.L.
Gray<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-11669097591890599462019-08-13T13:11:00.000-04:002019-08-13T13:11:12.210-04:00Voices of Authority<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qOwilQfk0ZI/XVLtiuNz0WI/AAAAAAAAdfk/pDPonvgNuBol3dCAJq9vmHZo-FekqlBUQCLcBGAs/s1600/Voices%2Bof%2BAuthority.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="360" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qOwilQfk0ZI/XVLtiuNz0WI/AAAAAAAAdfk/pDPonvgNuBol3dCAJq9vmHZo-FekqlBUQCLcBGAs/s640/Voices%2Bof%2BAuthority.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
love listening to podcasts while I work. Some of my favorites are Jocko Willink
at #JockoPodcast, Mike Ritland at #MikeDrop, Marcus and Morgan Luttrell at
#TeamNeverQuit, David Rutherford at #FrogLogic, Shawn Ryan at #VigilanceElite,
Andy Stumpf at #ClearedHot, Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark at
#MyFavoriteMurder and motivational videos by David Goggins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Life
is hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Getting up every day to push my
aging body into a healthy state, going to work all day, and then running around
doing all the errands life has in store for me like grocery shopping, walking
the dog, checking the mail, paying bills, cleaning, cooking, etc., that make my
life my life – can be draining on the mind, heart, body and soul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I have learned a long, long, long time
ago that no one is going to motivate me more than I’m going to motivate myself,
I sometimes can use a little help. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I’m
careful what I listen to, just like I have to be careful what I eat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What I pour into my body, mind, heart and
soul is what I am going to reap. I push hard because I want good results.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I keep going when I don’t feel like it
because my desire for my goal is more than my desire to be lazy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Believe me, I want to take the easy road.
I’ve been begging for the easy road my whole life, but it doesn’t seem I’m made
for the easy road.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel like I’m a
pulpwood truck designed to carry heavy loads down pot-hole-ridden dirt roads,
when I want to be a Lamborghini flying down the Autobahn. Instead I slap some
pretty paint over my rough body and get to work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I’ve
chosen the podcasts I listen to for a purpose – to receive strength. These are
warriors, pioneers, over-achievers, inspirers, motivators and leaders.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are Navy SEALs, MMA fighters, Ju-Jitsu
teachers, runners, comedians, professionals, survivors, poets and
professionals. They don’t just talk shit – they do it. I don’t want to hear
talk from someone who’s read about it, studied it, or has thoughts and ideas
about something … I want to hear from people who KNOW, who have sacrificed, who
have put the work in, who have paid the price – and STILL keeps fighting, never
quits, never accepts the excuses that life hands to them on a daily basis. I
want to learn from someone who has some authority. I don’t want to THINK about
doing something - I want to overcome. I am a survivor. I am a fighter. I am
warrior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am a woman. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">So,
let’s go Jocko.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let that smooth, deep,
voice of authority lead me into the wisdom and knowledge of your experience and
leadership. Thank you for letting me know I’m not the only insane 4am warrior
in this universe. Love Echo’s questions – keep ‘em coming. Let’s go, Mike. Keep
reminding me to be real, to lay it all out there, and remember my humanity, my
training, and my discipline. You’re a stone for this tumbleweed. Man, I love
you. I have loved EVERY podcast I have listened from you. I hope my opinion
matters in this case, because I sure as Hell know it doesn’t on your podcast.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s go, Rut. Pour out your poems and your
deep-rooted hope that stirs my soul. Let’s go Marcus and Morgan – keep
reminding me to never give up, to never quit, and that there is life after
survival.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Andy, Andy, Andy …you’re one
smart cookie – keep letting me know I can’t be cleared hot and that danger is
always close. Come on, Goggins – help me bear the suffering and keep running
and keep standing in that mirror of accountability. Keep showing me I don’t
have to be defined by this world that I can do anything I set my mind to
accomplish if I’m willing to really suffer for it. Hooyah! Come on Ryan, push
that vigilance, take aim at the target, and keep true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Come on Karen and Georgia, make me laugh and
do it while reminding me the world is full of dangerous people, and show me how
strong, smart, opinionated, foul-mouthed woman can succeed. Oh, and the lessons
on murder – well, who knows if those will come in handy someday.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">All
these people are beautiful inspirations to me. Each of them have inspired me
and motivated me to keep going, and they do it every day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are filling my heart and my mind with
the tools and weapons I need to keep pushing to succeed, and I appreciate the
hell out of them. They are my voices of authority.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">God
is my ultimate authority, but I believe these are his modern-day prophets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They LIVE his Word in truth and deed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They’re not preachers or evangelists knocking
on your doors and trying to push a belief on you. They’re real people, real
heroes, and real examples. I don’t want to just hear or read a principle, I
want to see it in action, I want to see it applied, I want to see the results it
produces, and I love what these men and women are producing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
never listened to podcasts before, but now I don’t want to go through my day
without them. Check these guys out. I promise you won’t be sorry. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Till
next time,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">~T.L.
Gray<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Podcast
Links:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>My Favorite
Murder - <a href="https://www.myfavoritemurder.com/">https://www.myfavoritemurder.com/</a></b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0in;">Jocko Podcast - </span><a href="http://jockopodcast.com/" style="font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0in;">http://jockopodcast.com/</a></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; text-indent: 0in;">Mike Drop - </span><a href="https://mikeritland.com/mike-drop-podcast/" style="text-indent: 0in;">https://mikeritland.com/mike-drop-podcast/</a></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="text-indent: 0in;">Vigilance Elite - </span><a href="https://www.vigilanceelite.com/" style="text-indent: 0in;">https://www.vigilanceelite.com/</a></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><o:p>T</o:p><span style="text-indent: 0in;">eam Never Quit - </span><a href="https://teamneverquit.com/podcast/" style="text-indent: 0in;">https://teamneverquit.com/podcast/</a></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="text-indent: 0in;">Cleared Hot - </span><a href="https://www.clearedhotpodcast.com/" style="text-indent: 0in;">https://www.clearedhotpodcast.com/</a></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="text-indent: 0in;">David Goggins - </span><a href="https://youtu.be/-vY1cgnQQq0" style="text-indent: 0in;">https://youtu.be/-vY1cgnQQq0</a></b></span></div>
<br />Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-75886546056806275902019-08-07T07:56:00.000-04:002019-08-07T07:56:21.764-04:00Reload and React<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QsinZMxPZSU/XUq8O_OZpHI/AAAAAAAAdak/-4EJxrkpK54Rfas18N5291y2OBTfwjXDgCLcBGAs/s1600/Reload.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="630" data-original-width="630" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QsinZMxPZSU/XUq8O_OZpHI/AAAAAAAAdak/-4EJxrkpK54Rfas18N5291y2OBTfwjXDgCLcBGAs/s320/Reload.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Many
days and many times I run out of energy. I am made of energy and everything I
do requires energy - energy to move,
energy to dig in, energy to keep going, energy to talk, energy to feel, energy
to stay positive, energy to work, energy to play, etc. ON the downside, it also takes energy to cry,
energy to hurt, energy to worry, energy to stress, energy to fret, and energy
to be angry. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"> Energy is the strength and vitality required
for sustained physical or mental activity. Motivation is stored positive
energy. Inspiration is the birth of energy. Isolation is my way to protect my energy.
Procrastination is the reluctance to expel or use energy. It’s the source of my vitality, it what
animates my life, it’s what fuels my passions, stirs the fires within my soul,
it strengthens my desires, is the source of my strength and stamina. It’s another name for
drive-desire-determination. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">So
what happens when I am empty? When I’ve made decisions in my life that expel
and use more energy than I produce and store?
My gas tank runs dry, my guns have no ammunition, and my reserves are
empty. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Life
is about balance. ALWAYS balance. If I want something different to happen in my
life, I have to do something different.
If I want to use energy, I must learn to store and build the same amount
of energy. But often I’m unbalanced, using more than I stored, burning my
gears, becoming exhausted. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Love
is energy, but that too has to be in balance. If I love more than the amount of
love I receive, I’m unbalanced and will burn out. If I receive more love than I give, I’ll
become complacent and take advantage and become dependent on its source. But, then what happens when that love
disappears from my life because it’s been exhausted? Will I have anything
stored?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">That’s
not how energy works. That’s not how
love works. Neither has a shelf life. It’s a force that needs constant motion
or movement, it’s always building or breaking, growing or dying. The more I pour in, the faster and harder I
can go – in the present. <i>I </i>can’t store
it in now and expect to use it in 20 years. Stored energy needs to be used
quickly and soon. Stored love is to be used in the present. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">At
some point I have to learn to pour in, to build, to store at the same time, and
with the same measure I’m using and consuming. I want energy in my body, so I
make decisions in my life that help me build energy on a daily basis to balance
out my daily workout routines that require a lot of energy, especially this new
routine my boyfriend created for me. I want to be productive at work every day,
so I have to make sure I get rest the night before – every day. If I don’t build and store every day, I won’t
be able to work out every day. If I don’t
work out every day, I won’t get the results I need. If I fall asleep at work
every day, I will eventually lose that job.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">So,
don’t forget to reload – everything you will need - every day. But don’t just
reload. Once you’ve got your daily dose,
REACT – use the energy you’ve built for the thing you’ve built it for. Don’t look at me like you don’t know what I’m
saying. Some of you just realized you don’t have, or you can’t, or you stopped,
or you failed …because you haven’t been reloading your reserves. You’ve been
wondering why there’s some emptiness in your life or why something isn’t
working. You won’t get to the gym diligently everyday if you’re not being just
as diligent in your diet and sleep – everyday. If you’re not loving,
respecting, appreciating others, then don’t fucking expect it in return. It’s
insane to expect something for nothing, yet we live in a society that believes
in that fairy tale. I see it every day. People want healthy fit bodies AND eat
pizza while sitting on their asses all day playing video games. They want money, but not the job required to
earn it. If you want energy, build energy.
If you want POSITIVE energy, then put Positive measures into place and
be positive, even when the rest of the world is a bitter asshole. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Till
next time,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">~T.L.
Gray<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-35320311148420656502019-08-06T07:29:00.000-04:002019-08-06T07:29:37.818-04:00Whatever It Takes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DjUFCkODFT4/XUlkUnZjwnI/AAAAAAAAdZs/94aG-iQw-EgrW2XP0V3x-ujUBbDSvKVagCLcBGAs/s1600/whatever-it-takes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DjUFCkODFT4/XUlkUnZjwnI/AAAAAAAAdZs/94aG-iQw-EgrW2XP0V3x-ujUBbDSvKVagCLcBGAs/s320/whatever-it-takes.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">How
many of us say this, and convince ourselves we believe it, but don’t do
it? Will I really do ‘whatever’ it
takes? How about when it gets hard? When
no one else believes and supports me? When there’s no reward? No accolades? When
it hurts? When it costs? When it requires me to give up someone or something
else I love? When it doesn’t match my dreams or imagination? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Right
now I’ve been doing this new workout program my boyfriend created for me. I
suffer. It hurts me. It pushes me. I have to fight the fifty excuses screaming
at me every morning, telling me to go back to bed, taunting me that it isn’t
working, I’m wasting my time. Yes,
knowing I’m about to go suffer, I get up, put on my gym clothes, tie my hair in
a ponytail, and then drive to the gym. EVERY
exercise hurts, and then the last of each set where I have to take myself to muscle
failure – makes me want to throw up. But, I do WHATEVER it takes. I quit
focusing on the pain I’m feeling and KNOW I’m going to feel throughout the day
and then what I’m going to feel through the night and tomorrow, and focus on
the next success. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Do
I love to suffer or feel pain? Hell NO!
But, what I do love more than the pain and suffering is being strong, healthy,
and active. I’m 48. My body is ready to
start resting, slow down, take it easy – but I’m not. I’ve got too many dreams, too many things I
still have yet to do. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
got pissed off and frustrated the other day because I wasn’t strong enough to carry
my kayak on my own. I’m going to fix
that problem, watch me. I’ll do whatever it takes. I haven’t figured it out
yet, but I’m thinking about it. I love to kayak, I have a kayak, I have an SUV
to carry my kayak, and I am not going to let being small and weak stop me from
enjoying something I love to do. And I refuse to depend on someone else to do
it. Don’t get me wrong, if someone else
is around, I’ll gladly and appreciatively use their help, but I’m not going to
let the lack of help being available stop me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
made a promise to myself a few years ago I wasn’t going to let the actions or
inactions of others stop me anymore for doing what I want and love. I spent more
than 20 years practically begging to go to the Grand Canyon. We had the means,
time, and opportunity, but no one else wanted to go, so I allowed my dream to
be put on the back burner with an empty promise of the next year – that never
came. So, I made a vow to myself to not
let other’s stop me from doing what I want anymore. I still haven’t made it to
the Grand Canyon, but believe me – It’s in the planning stage. As soon as I
have vacation time – I’m going to see that big hole in the ground, even if I
have to go alone. I’ll do WHATEVER IT TAKES. I’m going to find a way to load
and unload my kayak ON MY OWN – whatever it takes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">In
my writing – I do whatever it takes. Writing is hard, it takes devotion, time,
patience, bleeding your soul onto the page …and if I want publication – more hard
work, being “on” in order to market, promote, engage, sitting at hot festivals,
sitting on panels with a bunch of snobbish people, wearing thick skin from the
opinionated bad reviews or advice from everyone in or outside the business who
thinks they can write your stuff better than you. Dealing with people …sigh. BUT, I LOVE writing, it’s as much a part of
me as breathing so when I set my mind to a project – I’ll do whatever it takes
to see it fly onto the page and then out into the universe. I’m not going to
let those things or people stop me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">In
work, in relationships, paying my bills, providing for myself, life in general …
I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ve only got me. I have people in my life who care
about me, but I, ALONE, am responsible for myself. I’m an independent single woman. I don’t have
a husband to share the burdens of this life. My kids are grown and they have
themselves to care for, and it’s not their job to take care of me. I have no
parents. So, I must do whatever it takes. So, watch me do just that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">Till
next time</span>Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16469843.post-63537688890688206312019-08-05T07:43:00.000-04:002019-08-05T07:43:20.635-04:00The Terminal List by Jack Carr - Part 2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<img border="0" data-original-height="556" data-original-width="1600" height="220" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tAWwKNpbpbY/XUgVG0Ib5JI/AAAAAAAAdY4/V3XHJPERN_owF-iElRwkf0UIvtOSnw2YACLcBGAs/s640/Jack%2BCarr%2BThe%2BTerminal%2BList.jpg" width="640" /><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Terminal-List-Thriller-Jack-Carr/dp/1501180819/ref=sr_1_1?hvadid=78271530311846&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvqmt=e&keywords=jack+carr+terminal+list&qid=1565005111&s=gateway&sr=8-1" target="_blank">The Terminal List by Jack Carr Amazon</a></div>
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<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Okay,
I’m a few days late, but here is the second part to my review of The Terminal
List by Jack Carr. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
want to get into the conspiracy theories promoted in this story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To tell you the truth, I started getting
pissed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First from the prologue, wanting
to know who the hell sent this SEAL team to die, to murder them while they are
doing what they’ve been trained to do, while they believed they were serving
their country.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can only imagine
thoughts like that have to be in the back of the mind for those out there
putting their lives on the line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a
betrayal! These guys risk their life for the mission, for their country,
because they believe in their country. They are trained to trust their teams,
and the people in authority over them. These teams are made up mostly of
fathers, sons, husbands, and brothers with a deep sense of duty and honor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a hard job and they can get lost at
times, lose sight of the mission, lose themselves beneath stress and pressure,
but at their heart they’re our heroes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>To have someone betray that trust, and then use that betrayal to cover
their own selfish agenda is deplorable. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I’m
not naïve. I know the world is full of greedy bastards that kill, manipulate
and plunder for their own material gains.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There’s a lot more than I’d like to admit, but that’s the way of the
world. In this story, this betrayal comes from the leaders that our
protagonist, Lieutenant Commander James Reece, trusted and obeyed, not only who
tried to kill him, but killed his brothers-in-arms. So, I was asking, ‘What the
hell was this level of betrayal for?’ thinking money was the root. Yes,
ultimately, money was the root to this evil, but author Jack Carr doesn’t just
give us that simplistic single reason – no, we get slapped with another double
whammy with an even bigger betrayal – the Team guys were murdered because they
were evidence, they were guinea pigs for experimental drugs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before they were terminated by enemy bombs,
they were first terminal victims of a biological weapon. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Man,
oh man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fear is a bitch, and I can
imagine that again these types of fears of betrayal are on our Team guys’ mind
at times. I found myself getting angry the more I read this story. I know its
fiction, but its plausible issues that our SEALs could face and it just makes
me irate that it probably has happened in some fashion, or probably will happen
at some point. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a messy
business.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rescuing and killing. I can’t
imagine how hard that can be on a soul. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The
Terminal List by Jack Carr definitely stirs the mind and pushes my buttons. I
do recommend it, it’s very well-written, it’s a great read, but it’s not for
the faint-hearted or the weak-minded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An
ostrich can’t read it, a sheep couldn’t understand it, a wolf would be
offended, and a shepherd would be ashamed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I
planned on a third part of this review to talk about all the guns and weapons described
in this book, but I really don’t understand them. I love that a glossary was
added, but while I can’t appreciate the beauty of the weapon (but I’m sure a
weapons guy would love those parts best) I got the gist the story. They served
their purpose, but I’ll leave those details to those who know what they’re
talking about; I’ll stick to the writing, the pacing, and dialogue, the moral
of the story, the emotion, and the writer’s voice. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Jack
Carr is a natural story-teller, a silver-tongue, and I love listening to his
interviews and podcasts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He writes a
really well story, with great pacing, and good structure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I look forward to reading True Believer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">If
you haven’t read Terminal List by Jack Carr – go read it now!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You won’t regret it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Till
next time,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Bright",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">~T.L.
Gray<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Author T.L. Grayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08510805654530995072noreply@blogger.com0