Where have all the gentlemen gone? Can the world even recognize a gentleman anymore? What is the definition of a gentleman?
According to Webster, a gentleman means:
gent·le·man
ˈjen(t)lmən/
noun
- 1.a chivalrous, courteous, or honorable man.
"he behaved like a perfect gentleman" - 2.a polite or formal way of referring to a man.
"opposite her an old gentleman sat reading"
Again it seems we've come across some words that have lost its definition in today's society. Where are the examples of chivalry, or courtesy, or even honor today? When everything from our music, to our movies, to the leaders that are before us gives us the complete opposite example. What of the future generation? What would they know of traits of chivalry, and courtesy, and honor? Has the gentleman gone the way of the dinosaurs and become extinct? I can say within my circle it has become something of a rarity.
Being a gentleman isn't being a b**** or commonly referred to as a pussy whipped man. Being a gentleman isn't about the behavior that the man displays FOR the women in their life, it is a reflection of the behavior of who they are as a person. If you do something kind for someone else, that does not make you a kind person. Any a****** could have a kind moment. Being kind to someone else because you are kind, and choose to be kind, determines the state of your being. Being a gentleman doesn't mean you are submissive to a woman. Being a gentleman means you choose to be a kind, chivalrous, and respectful, because you are a gentleman.
Do the women of today deserve the treatment of the gentleman? That is also another debate. That is another conversation about being a lady. Spider-Man choosing to be a gentleman has nothing to do with the state of the woman. It has everything to do with who he chooses to be as himself.
So what does it mean to be a gentleman, what are some of the examples? Well let's start with being kind and courteous. How do we speak to the people in our lives especially a man to a woman? Does he speak down to her, or as a partner? It's about respect. The way we speak to people denotes the type of respect we have for them, but much more the type of respect we have for ourselves. When we choose not to listen to our partners, thats reflects our own character, not our ability to listen. We listen to what we want to hear. When we refuse, it's because we don't value or respect what's being said, or who is trying to speak to us. That's not a bad thing within itself, because sometimes we need to shut some people out of our lives to preserve our own dignity or safety. But when it comes to people we have a relationship with, choosing not to listen when they're trying to communicate is a form of the highest disrespect. That doesnt reflect on the person being ignored, but the one doing the ignoring. Its wrapped in pride and ego.
Where you were born, how you were raised, and what everyone else is doing isn't an excuse. They may be reasons and contributing factors, but they do not excuse the choices and actions we take.
I was watching a movie yesterday where this hood-rat rapper, who made it big in the music industry, got lots of money and women told his girlfriend it was a sign of respect him claiming her as his Bitch. His side-bitches were just whores and meant nothing, but she held the place of honor, his Queen, and his boys respected his Bitch. Her response - she smiled. My stomach hurt. Is that today's equivolent to "You're my Lady?"
I envy her ignorance, for it truly is bliss. It's amazing we've fallen so far and what we now accept as right, and honor, as respect. I'm no saint. Far from it. I'm dissappointed because I know there's a better way in humanity, I listen to that voice in the pit of my gut. I long for a real gentleman, yet relegated to being a bitch.
Heres a good read: http://nextluxury.com/mens-lifestyle-advice/rules-of-a-gentleman/
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray
