Smallville Review 5:5 Thirst

Crazy4Smallville’s Weekly Review

Season 5
Episode 5
"Thirst”
“The Masked Ranger Revealed”

I had expected this episode would be hokey and cheesy, and unfortunately, it didn’t fail to live up to those expectations. But, there were some amazing things mixed into the crazy mush pile, and I fear they may have gotten lost.

This just in - I interrupt this regularly scheduled review for late breaking news!

“THE IDENTITY OF THE MASKED RANGER HAS BEEN REVEALED!”

Well – at long last we now know the identity of the Masked Ranger. For those who read these reviews, but haven’t followed the Smallville Ledger Board’s “Adventures of the Masked Ranger” won’t know what I’m talking about, but those who do – we finally know the truth (or do we?) It seems that Clark Kent is the man behind the mask. Who would have guessed that the Man of Steel was the man behind the mask? LOL! At least it was a nice ‘kudos’ to the Masked Ranger, and I thought it quite hilarious. All this time many thought the man behind the mask was Michael Rosenbaum when it seems to have been Clark Kent. LOL! Oh, and the cape was nice touch to the Superman reference.

Now, back to the review!

I’m confused to the effects of the vampirism of Lana Lang. Did it make her act out of character or did it only enhance what she already knew and felt? If so, then does Lana feel that Clark is a whiny baby and her affections for him have waned? Because the Lana that was portrayed last night was not the Lana that is shoved in our faces week after week.

One of the reasons I detest Lana is the way that TPTB have risen her status in the mythos and life of Clark Kent. He’s Superman, and Smallville is supposed to be the story about HIM. But, sometimes you’d get the feeling that the story is about Lana –who happens to be some secret Supergirl. They’ve given her a role in Clark’s history, Kryptonian history, given her powers of an ancient witch and now has turned her into a vampire and given her a sample of Clark’s powers. How much more can she do without them coming right out and giving her a costume and nickname? The more they exalt Lana, the more they deflate the greatness of Clark Kent. In the mythos it was Lana who crushed on Clark – but he didn’t reciprocate those feelings. In Smallville, he’s a love sick puppy dog. Clark and Lana both keep harping on ‘destiny’ and how they were ‘destined’ to be with each other, when destiny has nothing to do with it. This storyline did nothing to move the main plot along. It only made Clark look like a really BDA (Big Dumb Alien) who let’s his girlfriend walk all over him.

There were some great things I loved about this episode though. I love the way it was told from Chloe’s narrative. I loved her interview at the Daily Planet with the Chief Editor, Kahn. (Note how the secretary called her ‘Chief’?) I think Carrie Fisher did an excellent job, even if I hardly recognized her from her Star Wars days.

I nearly choked on laughter when Chloe was talking to Clark on the phone and then swooped into the room. That was hilarious! I thought it was one of the best scenes in the entire episode.

I couldn’t figure out why Chloe chose to dress up as a nurse though. I would have liked her to dress up in a Supergirl or Wonder Woman costume – to give Clark some idea to his superhero status.

Now, for the pearls of the show – Dr. Fine and Lex Luthor! I hope that their interaction wasn’t lost in all the fluff and cheese that was slathered all around it. It was priceless to see the look on Lex’s face when Dr. Fine told him not to start something he couldn’t finish. I haven’t seen Lex look madder, or more evil – ever! I loved every single moment of it.

I love this character of Dr. Fine (Braniac). Lex Luthor could learn a lot from him. Maybe his influence is what causes Lex to become the ‘Greatest Criminal Mastermind of All Time”. I really hope they keep him around for a while. James Marsters seems to bring a level of excellence that the others could learn from.

I just wonder if Lex’s famously known surveillance system captured Dr. Fine’s “spikey” performance in the hangar. This made me think about the other FOTW with the same Terminator 3 powers – from Season 4.

In conclusion – I didn’t hate the episode as much as I thought I would. It was kind of fun and it had its great moments. It could have done without the whole vampire storyline – but hey – it’s Halloween, and I suppose a little fun was in order. But, if I were Clark – after watching Lana’s performance as a vampire – I’d be twice as worried for her to find out the truth about him being an alien.


This has been Crazy4Smallville’s weekly review. Till Next Time!