Meeting the Black – Tom
Piccirilli
Review by T.L. Gray - as published in West Georgia Living Magazine - May/June 2013 Edition
Author: Tom Piccirilli
Publisher: Crossroad Press &
Macabre Ink Digital; Crossroad Press First Digital edition
Release Date: November 16, 2012
Pages/Genre: 17/Memoir
Bio: Tom
Piccirilli is an American novelist and short story writer. He has sold over
150 stories in the mystery, thriller, horror, erotica, and science fiction
fields. Piccirilli is a two-time winner of the International Thriller Writers
Award for "Best Paperback Original" (2008, 2010). He is a four-time
winner of the Bram Stoker Award. He was also a finalist for the 2009 Edgar
Allan Poe Award given by the Mystery Writers of America, a final nominee for
the Fantasy Award, and he won the first Bram Stoker Award given in the category
of "Best Poetry Collection".
Book
Description:
Publication Date: November 16, 2012
Meeting
the Black
Meeting the Black is a powerful and emotional piece written by Tom
Piccirilli describing what he was going through, both mentally and physically,
before and after his recent operation. 100%
of the sales amounts of this and his other Crossroad Press titles, both eBook
and audiobook, will continue to go to Tom to assist with his medical bills
associated with his cancer treatment.
Review:
Wow! I'm familiar with musings, having written a few,
and this one was honest, raw and beautiful. My eyes are filled, not with tears
of sadness, but of hope.
There’s a lot to be said for a great opening line. Some of the greatest works in literature have
memorable starts. “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession
of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife,” Pride and Prejudice by Jane
Austin. “Call me Ishmael,” Moby Dick by Herman Melville. Now I have another opening line that captured
my attention. “Noir truth,” Meeting the Black by Tom Piccirilli.
My French may be rusty, but I know my colors very well,
and instantly my mind interpreted the opening line of this memoir to say ‘black truth’. This made me instantly go to a dark place and
wonder what could possibly be so black, void, or dark. Instantly a mood was set and Piccirilli was
faithful to deliver.
The second line proved to be as powerful as the first,
straight to the point, no holds bar. “What I know:
I’ve got a tumor in my head that’s halfway between the size of a
golf-ball and a tennis-ball, according to the neurosurgeon.” Wow. I can’t even imagine what this author is
going through, but I’m definitely hooked to find out.
From his presence in the literary world, it seems Mr.
Piccirilli has so far enjoyed a very successful writing career, having
published over twenty-two (22) novels since 1990, two (2) series, four (4)
novellas, more than thirty (30) anthologies, two (2) non-fiction works, and
four (4) time winner of the Bram Stroker Award, and two (2) time winner of the
International Thriller Writer’s Award, literally a writer’s dream come
true. Some in this field would say he
was a very lucky man, indeed. But in
life, tragedy doesn’t look at a writing resume or care how much success someone
might enjoy.
Being a fellow author, his story touches my heart, and
many times he echoed some of my own fears in this memoir. One of the most touching paragraphs
states: “What I know: Things aren’t
right. I’m not myself. I’m often in a fog lately. I can’t see, I can’t think clearly, I haven’t
been writing much. And there it is. When everything else runs out on me, I can
always count on the writing. It’s always
there. And now, it’s slipping through my
fingers, too. Jesus, not that, take the
rest of it, but not that. What if I
can’t write? I’m not me. I’m not the
person I’m supposed to be.” Many,
many times these are the very same words that I mutter in the middle of my
fear. So, I instantly related to Mr.
Piccirilli, and he stole my heart.
As his story progresses, Mr. Piccirilli talks about the
love between him and his brother, the loss of a mother, father and step father
to cancer, and we begin to see a picture of man who has in one way or another
fought against cancer his whole life.
Now, it is his life he must battle this horrible disease.
I can’t imagine the fear and the struggle this author
must go through on a daily basis, but one of the best illustrations of his
fight for hope is when he was given the advice to speak to his cells, to
encourage them to fight, because he had not the strength to do it on his
own.
“What I really
want to say to my cells: ‘Look, blame me
if you want, okay. I did you wrong. I ate bad shit. I smoked cigars for a
while. I’ve never been trim and
fit. Hold the grudge, but don’t give up
the good fight now. We’re, what, halfway
through the race? Come on, you can hold on for longer than that, can’t
you? Besides, who are you really
hurting, huh? Me? You’re gonna go in the ground with me, f**kers. Lars is going to yank you out of my brain and
throw you on the floor. Cells, get in
line, get back into formation, hup one, two, all that, start doing your jobs
again. Besides, it’s all just energy,
there are no coincidences.”
After a successful surgery and a trip to the lab, Mr.
Piccirilli receives the bad news; Noir truth …his tumor is cancerous. Anytime anyone is faced with such a stark,
bold, and life changing truth, one of the stages of grief, even though still
living, is the self blame, self analysis and self reflection. My heart breaks as this talented author goes
through this analysis and shares his vulnerable thoughts with us: “Consciously or unconsciously, for the price
of a dark dream, you have brought about your own doom. I didn’t go after the wrong woman, I didn’t
mouth off to a bad cop, I didn’t push a
gun into a the ribs of the mob boss, I didn’t shove the old lady down
the stairs in her wheelchair. I’m a
lousy noir character.”
Facing a terminal illness changes priorities. This writer of mostly horror and thrillers
transforms into a love guru, telling everyone with every chance he gets how
much he loves and appreciates them as he ponders his own mortality. He comes to another phase in his journey
where his thoughts turn deep in his understanding of noir truths. There are so many quotes that have such a
deep meaning that I want to write them all down separately and place throughout
my house to remind me of them daily.
Words of noir truth such as: “You
can lose the fight, but you have to lose it fairly. You can’t cheat in the last reel. You take it on the chin or in the gut or in
the back of the head, but you stand tall doing it. No blinking, no last minute wincing. You play your string out to the end.”
We all hold onto hope when we face tragedy. We try to look for the positive amongst the
terrible things that come into our lives.
I wept when I read the final passage in this short memoir, where Mr.
Piccirilli is told that his cancer is aggressive and terminal, as I’m sure some
of you will as well. So, I leave you
with his words, because he says them better than I ever could.
“Noir truth: I’ll
be fighting it for the rest of my life and it’ll probably do me in one of these
days. I keep picturing a feathery,
fluffy, black growth trying to take over the pure, snowy, gleeful thoughts
already there. The pure-driven snow
personality is me. The black rot, what
is it? The death wish? My noir heart?
“Cells?”
“Yo!”
“We still
rockin’?”
“A-OK, babe.”
“You keep doing
your thing and I’ll keep doing mine.”
“Let’s call it a
plan of action.”
“Right on.”
So what’s left? Skull bones, titanium steel plates, fruiting
bodies of toadstools, and a million more stories?
What I know: I’m scared and will always be scared. I’m still here among the living. I fight because when you get down to it, you
have no choice. You suck air, you focus
will, you dream, you fight past your demons and shadows and enemy cells. Thanks to all of you –“
Mr.
Piccirilli continues to fight his cancer, and my heart and prayers go with him
and his family. Crossroads Press, the
publisher of Mr. Piccirilli’s work, has designated all proceeds, funds and
sales for any and all titles, including this memoir, directly to the him and
his family in an effort to help him in his fight against cancer. I’m not only a
huge fan of this author’s work, but I’m now a huge admirer of his heart.
This
is the hardest review I’ve had to give to date, but it’s also the one I believe
in most. So, if you get a chance, please
pick up one of Tom Piccirilli’s titles today, send him a note of encouragement
on his Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/tompiccirilli)
page, or say a prayer for him and
his family.
Latest update: March 29, 2013: “Hello everyone, this is Michelle. Tom had his
MRI on Monday this week and today we had appointments at two different doctor's
offices and he had blood test done. His MRI came back clean with no sign of
cancer. This is the forth MRI in a row since his surgery and radiation that has
come back clean. Tom's oncologist told us that he is now in REMISSION.”
.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray
