Slow Moving Train

Have you ever been on a slow moving train?  I have at Six Flags, Stone Mountain and Walt Disney World.  Those were recreational trains, and that’s about as slow moving as trains go.

The young, adventurous side of me would like the train in my life to zip along like an Amtrak, getting me from Point A to Point B as quick and as smooth as possible.  I wouldn’t mind the scenery outside my window to be in streaks of brown, greens and grays, just so long as I get to where I’m going in one piece. 

The last train I rode derailed, jumped track and tossed me around something fierce, but I survived.  I’m bruised, beaten and whole lot of scared, but I seem to back on another track.  Hopefully, this one is going in the right direction.

I didn’t get on that track by myself, and I’m so scared of another derailment, each inch it moves has my heart pounding and me holding my breath while I’ve got a death grip on my hand rests.  I have some of the best friends in the whole world.

I know everybody always says that, and for many years I thought I had good friends, but what I had were fair-weathered sympathizers.  I also thought I was a good friend, but have come to realize that I don’t think I was ever a friend at all.  One of the biggest things I’ve learned this past year – is what the face, hands and heart of a true friend truly looks like. 

I’ve seen in the compassion, concern and courage, I’ve heard it in the voice of hard true and felt it in the nonjudgmental acceptance of true friends. I love you guys, I appreciate every kind word or act of kindness and love you’ve shown me.  I’m so blessed and overwhelmed.  I only hope that I can be one microscopic ounce the friend to each of you as you have been to me.

I am now on a slow moving train, moving at a pace that is really trying my patience, but it’s forcing me to look around me, take notice of what’s important in life, see who’s standing beside me, take stock in the direction I’m going, and moving at a pace I can build some confidence and momentum.

I’ve been so scared. I’ve been so lost. I’ve been so angry and hurt, and you’ve all been there for me in one way or another.  I love you all very much.

I love you Meagan, Johnathan and Kelly.  No matter what.  I love you Jeff, Jenna, Sara, Jaz, Christian, Justin, Lorien, Dawn, Denise, Maggie, Frank, Mary, Laura, and Ruthy.   Thank you to all the kind words from my friends on my blogs, Facebook, Goodreads and Scribophile.    I have survived and I’m going to make it just fine, but I couldn’t have done it without you guys. 

All aboard!

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray