Many times
in my life, well really almost all of it if I really think about it, I always
put someone else's ideas or wants before my own. Perhaps it's just part of my DNA, though none
of my other family members ever did this.
I have been taking care of someone else literally my whole life. From the time I was able to climb on top of
counters and change diapers, I took care of my brothers, to taking care of my
own children (as a child myself at 17), taking care of a husband, taking care
of a career, and taking care of my duties and responsibilities at church and in
my community. In all that time, I rarely
took care of me. I spent literally my
whole life being what other people expected, demanded, or wanted from me.
Last year,
about this exact time, I made a huge, life-altering decision - I was going to
be myself and start to take care of me.
The only problem with my plan - I didn't really know who I was. My children were now grown, I walked away
from a 20-year marriage, I left my church and let go of all my friends. I even stopped writing for a while. I needed to meet me and I had no idea what I
looked like.
I've since
met me, and I like me very much. I'm
outgoing, love the outdoors, love to run and exercise, love to read, write and
help others, love to dream, love to travel, love the Pacific Northwest, love to
explore, love to meet new people, love 5k's, love hiking, love kayaking, love
canoeing, love being alone, love being in a crowd of friends, love wine, love
sushi, love hats and love being beautiful, sexy and flirtatious. I love being me and can never settle again
to be a copy or imitation of what someone else wants me to be.
I’m the
original T.L. Gray.
Till next
time,
~T.L. Gray
I love this post.
ReplyDeleteIt left me thinking... I wonder why other people try to stultify our true identities.