The Company You Keep

They say, “You are the company you keep.” Who are they?  This time, it’s many of the people I’ve grown to respect and admire over the years, people who have gone before me such as Epictatus, Benjamin Franklin, Cohen, Albert Einstein, Voltaire, etc.  Japanese Proverb says, “When a character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.” English proverb says, “A man is known by the company he keeps.” Drew Houston says, “You become the average of the five people you hang out with.” In 1 Corinthians 15, “Don’t be misled. Bad company corrupts good character.”  Starting to get the point? And before I move on – for those who think keeping their own company solves the bad company issue – you can be the bad influence in your own life.  “Character is much easier kept than recovered,” Thomas Payne.

I say that, to say this …be careful of the company you keep.  If your life is falling apart and you keep suffering, you keep failing, you keep facing the same problems over and over and over, look around at your support system. If you don’t have a support system – then that too is your fault and responsibility.  You can’t blame the world for leading your astray or letting you down – because the world hasn’t been around. YOU led yourself astray and YOU let yourself down.  But, if you do have a support system – check yourself and check them.  Are they a strong, positive, inspirational, encouraging, moralistic, supportive, natural leaders, got their shit together, and successful examples? If not, then there might be the problem. The BIGGER question – are you all those things to your friends AND to yourself?  There’s another answer to your failures and problems.

We delude ourselves. I’ve done it. I’m guilty.  Thomas Payne is right, “To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead.”  We quickly and easily want to lay blame to others for our failures.  It’s his fault, it’s her fault, it’s their fault, I didn’t have the same opportunities, life isn’t fair, if I didn’t have kids, if I had only got an education, if I had the money, and so on and so on. I’ve heard the excuses. I’ve tried to use them, but when it comes down to it – I can only blame myself for making poor choices, either in ignorance or vanity. 

One thing I have learned through it all – I noticed a pattern, am noticing the pattern again, and must conclude – the times of my greatest successes coincided with the times I surrounded myself with people that lent me strength to achieve those successes, who encouraged me, and who inspired me. No one ever did anything FOR me, I’ve fought hard for everything I’ve ever achieved through sacrifice and hard work. The times of my greatest failures and disappointments were when I surrounded myself with vampires, by selfish, lazy people, by bad company who took my love, my charity, my compassion, and my gifts for granted – and left me empty and dry. Shame on me.

We think the company we keep doesn’t really affect us, our life, our successes or our failures, but that’s just a lie we tell ourselves because we don’t want to face the truth: the company we keep reflects WHO WE ARE, where we are in life, and what we value. You can lie to yourself all you want, but if you want to know who you really are, not who you think you are, look at the people around you – look at the company you keep.

I am uncommon amongst uncommon people. I am beautiful. I am strong. I am filled with passion, integrity and good character.  I am driven. I am determined. I love myself and I’m working hard to cut out the leeches, the vampires, the excuses, the corrupt, the liars, and the thieves  - and surround myself with people who inspire me, who love me, who value me, who encourage me, who love and value themselves – because I am not done yet. I have achieved a lot in this world, but I have more work to do.  I’m not looking for perfect people – no such thing exists. I’m looking for uncommon people amongst uncommon people – the dreamers, the fighters, the people who don’t take no for answers, the people who never give up, and the people who don’t let excuses stop them. That will be the company I will be to others and the company I keep. Because of that – watch what I do, it’s gonna be fucking amazing!

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray