Budgeting... Our Goals

As with anything we do, we need to set some realistic and obtainable goals.  Not a comfortable goal. On the contrary, our goals and plans should always be a little more, a little harder, and a little higher than our present comfort level.  We should always strive to do ‘more’ than our current level or else we are just treading water and getting nowhere. That’s not a way to find success. That’s simply surviving.

One of the keys to success is to always be rising, gaining, and moving toward the end of our agenda. We have to set our eyes on the finish line, the pinnacle of what we want to achieve, and then be able to see, understand, and recognize the path to get to that line.  This is where we often mess up and stumble, leading to our failure in reaching the goals we set for ourselves.

In no way am I saying NOT to dream big. On the contrary… dream big; dream really big.  Write those dreams down, even the ones that everyone says are impossible.  Even the ones we think are impossible or not for us. We can’t run a race without knowing what kind of race we’re in, or where the finish line is, otherwise we’re just running wild with no direction. We have to know where we are going in order to know if we’re traveling in the right direction.

Once we’ve written our list of dreams, we now need to take a step back, remove the emotion from those dreams, and start setting realistic, obtainable goals.  We have to take the big dream and identify step A and step Z. Those are the two hardest steps to identify – A. What is it and where does it begin?  Z. What does it become and where does it end? We can’t set all the goals between A and Z without FIRST identifying those two components.  Those are the base to our equation for success. Equally, this same equation can be used for every area of our lives.

Who am I?   -  Who do I want to be?

What do I weigh?  - What do I want to weigh?

What can I do?  - What do I want to be able to do?

Where am I?  - Where do I want to be?

How much do I have? – How much do I want to have?

How do I feel? – How do I want to feel?

Where have I been? – Where do I want to go?

What position do I hold? – What position do I want to hold?

You see what I’m trying to convey?  We have to first identify the truth of our present state and then set the goal of the state we want to achieve. But, we can’t lie to ourselves or else the goals we set will unravel.  They won’t hold when the pressure comes, when temptation comes, when the truth reveals itself.  The number one failure to any goal we set for ourselves is self-deception and dishonesty. We lie to ourselves more than anyone else lies to us, or even the lies we tell to others.

One of the keys of success for making a change to any of our bad habits and behaviors, failures and weaknesses, including taking responsibility for who we are, is being able to recognize the truth about ourselves.  We have to accept that truth in order to make a decision to change it. In order to enter the race to achieve any particular goal in our life, we have to first understand where we are, who we are, and what state we are in – and then recognize the goal of where we want to go, what we want to do, and what we want to achieve.  It has to be done in honesty.

Goals are all about change; changing our present state, our present atmosphere, our present company, to a different state in order to achieve a different result. Change can’t happen without honesty. Change can’t happen without recognizing the truth. But once we face the truth, once we accept it, and we’ve recognized our A and Z components, NOW we are capable of setting our budget of goals.  As with any budget we can over budget or under budget.  If we over-budget, we set impossible and unrealistic goals, and are not going to be able to meet those goals and setting ourselves up to fail.  If we under-budget and set too easy of goals, then it won’t be a challenge and we’re not really changing anything; only running in a circle of what we already have. This is the cycle that many of us often fall into – and if you take an honest look at your past behaviors these are the type of goals that leads to those spherical habits – what’s often known as yo-yo diets or insanity – doing the same things over and over and over and yet expecting different results, so we keep making the same mistakes and we keep failing.  It’s why we can’t beat our addictions or overcome our weaknesses. It’s why we can’t change our lives or circumstances because we can’t change our environment, change who or what we hang out with, whom or what we allow in our lives, who or what we allow to influence us and speak into our lives. 

I.e. – if we want to be successful and responsible, we have to stop hanging out with unsuccessful and irresponsible people, or making unsuccessful decisions. If we want to be healthy and fit, we can’t surround ourselves with lazy, unfit people or regularly visit the fast food restaurants, stock our fridges and pantry with junk food, or eat out all the time. If we want to be kind and generous, we can’t hang out with selfish and hateful people.  If we want to be happy and faithful, we have to stop hanging out with unhappy cheaters.  If we don’t want drama in our lives, we have to stop inviting it into our homes. We are what we do, what we eat, who we hang out with, and what we spend our time and money on.

Once we face our truth, and recognize our A and Z, we need to set our budget – break down all the steps between A and Z (B-Y) into progressive, obtainable mini-goals.  First break them in half (B-M), then break those sections in half (C-G), then those in half (D & E), doing the same for the other side, and so on and so forth until you have a clear path filled with plans and goals that will help you reach success. If we don’t like any part of who we are, where we are, or what state we are in, then change it. Recognize our A and Z, make our goals, and then set a realistic budget to meet all the internal steps until we find success.

Here’s an example:

Face the Truth: Always dreamed of writing a novel, but after starting a dozen stories, never seem to finish them. Life always gets in the way, and nothing ever gets completed.

Dream: Finish a 50,000 word novel.

A – Start Writing Novel - “Once Upon a Time”.  Z – Complete Writing Novel - “The End”

B-M – Break the novel down into increments and chapters so that M= 25,000 words (half our novel) (averaging 2000 words per chapter for 12 chapters) and then set our budget to achieve a chapter a day, or a chapter a week.  Outline those chapters of what we want to achieve by that part of the story, and set our goals for each chapter.  Then, do the same for the other half of the novel, so that we have a complete outline of mini-goals we want to achieve from A to Z. 

Then COMMIT to those obtainable, reachable goals we have set, create an atmosphere to fulfill those goals, budget the equipment and material we need to achieve them, and make the time and room to get them done. Without commitment, we WILL fail. Kismet, Murphy, life, God, the supernatural, and everything and everyone will present obstacles and temptations to get us off our goals, detour us from our path, lead us astray, or get us to give up.  Nothing good comes easy or without effort. We MUST have commitment or we have already failed.  Budget our goals. They’re important. We are important. Our dreams are important.

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray

Perfect Conditions for Procrastinators

I’m not often a procrastinator. I’m a go-getter, mover, shaker, but I’ve never been a candlestick maker.  I get things done.  I’ve been charging through life, well, pretty much my whole life.  I’m a decision maker.  Once I’ve made a decision, I’m almost impossible to stop.  Why am I that way?  Maybe because I’ve always had to fight for everything in my life, nothing was just handed to me, and often, even what I had was taken from me.  Most people call this drive.  I call it determination – settling the mind to a specific task or course of action, and follow through.

However, this year, I’ve found myself participating in a lot of procrastination.  Not because I was incapable, but numb.  I don’t apologize for it.  I understand the need for the season.  What I’ll never understand, is those who choose to stay in it for long periods of time. 

Week after week, I watch the same group of writers talk, play, argue, and proceed to give everyone else in the world their advice and opinion on every subject, YET do no writing.  OR, they start writing, but when the first tug of difficulty appears, instead of pushing through it, they go back to all those other devices that enable their procrastination.  I know, I did it, too.  This really breaks my heart.  There’s so much talent and potential wasted in the land of procrastination.

When I’ve tried to inspire some of these procrastinators to get to work, I’m met with excuse after excuse, as if they’re waiting on the perfect opportunity to fall in their lap that will magically give them the energy and drive to do what they need to do.  Don’t get me wrong, I love magic, I just don’t believe in it.

There will NEVER be a perfect time.  The moment you’re waiting for, the one that will inspire you and give you what you need to write, will be the moment you CHOOSE to act.  I can almost guarantee it won’t be ideal, convenient, or opportunistic, but requiring determination, dedication and drive.  It will hurt, stretch you, test you and often push you to your limit, but it is only one moment, and it too shall pass.

I’ve heard writers tell me they only write when their muse hits them with overwhelming strength.  These are also the same writers still working on the same story year after year.  Set aside all those things that distract you and pull you away from doing what you know must be done.  Push through the walls that pop up in front of you.  Dig in.  I’m not telling you something I don’t know anything about.  I have to do the same thing EVERY DAY.  I had to do it this morning.  I have to do it now just to finish this blog post.

Silence the phone.  Close down your internet browser.  Don’t read the forums.  Close your email (don’t just minimize), cut off the television or music, lock your door and sit down and make one small goal to accomplish.  THEN, make yourself push through that one goal.  Stop waiting for the perfect moment, because it’s already here. 

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray

Ready to send that query?

I had a wonderful lunch yesterday with a fellow friend and writer, and it brought back memories of days past submitting query letters in search of landing a big time literary agent.  It also brought back some of the valuable lessons I learned during that process. 

In my eagerness to get represented and then published, I didn’t want to hear some of those important lessons I needed.  So, I’m sure there are others in that same spirit of impatience who will not want to hear them from me now, but nevertheless, I’m going to post them.

1.    Professional – Be professional, not personal, in your query letter.  Your query reveals a lot about who you are, how you write, and what that agent can expect from you as a writer.  While writing may be an agent’s passion, they’re also in a business where success is dependent on the ‘type’ of writer they represent.  They don’t get paid unless they can get their client signed by a publisher.  So, while they may be moved with compassion by your personal story, its business that will be the deciding factor.  SHOW, don’t tell, the agent that you are professional, determined, and filled with natural talent and an overabundance of drive, and you might just get that call.  Don’t write a long, personal sob story about yourself and your dream of being published.  EVERY writer who submits a query letter has a dream of being represented and published.

2.    Polished  - Make sure your query letter is error free and ‘shows’ a prime example of your writing style, a clear and correct synopsis of your story, and has a powerful message.  This is probably the most difficult part of the query; writing that short, but powerful, sales pitch of your story.  You don’t have to write the WHOLE story, just the pitch that gets them to want to know more.

3.    Pro-Active/Promising – Agents ‘invest’ in their clients, because they feel that the writing/novel can be successfully placed and sold.  However, they’re also looking for clients who will continue in that success, and are not just ‘one-trick ponies’.  So make sure you ‘show’ that you’re busy working on the NEXT BIG THING, the next project, the next novel. List your accomplishments, affiliations, and the immediate working project.  DON’T list everything you dream of doing in the distant future – just list the big project you’re currently working on. This tells the agent that you’re not sitting at home biting your nails, and placing all your hopes on this one book.  A good agent knows that the more novels an author writes the BETTER writer they become.

4.    Prepared – This is the MOST important.  Don’t query UNTIL you’re completely prepared.  Your novel needs to be polished, printed and ready for publication, and you already WORKING on the next project.  You need to be DONE – completed, edited and ready to go.  This is how you will immediately lose an opportunity for representation and burn a networking bridge – by getting a request for a partial or full manuscript, but then not have one ready to send immediately, or it’s unedited and not in the best possible shape.  This SHOWS an agent that the writer is unprofessional, lazy and impatient. 

So, if you’re thinking about sending out that query letter, but haven’t covered these basic issues, don’t.  Remove your emotions from the process and tackle it with the prowess of professionalism.  Then watch those requests and offers come pouring in.

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray