Thr Terminal List by Jack Carr Review

It’s been a while since I’ve written a book review. Hell, it’s been a while since I’ve read a whole book, at least a fiction novel. Life has taken a lot of different turns, but it’s like riding a bike.  I don’t really want to say that, because I can’t really describe what it’s been like, but it sure as hell hasn’t been anything like a bike. Don’t get me wrong, I love my bike, and I love riding it, but reading and writing – well, that’s a whole different experience. I’ve just needed the right inspiration to get me back in the seat – and I found it in The Terminal List by Jack Carr.

I’m not going to give this review to you all at once, because I want to do it justice. I’m going to give it to you in pieces – today being the first.

I initially heard of Jack Carr on Jocko Willink’s podcast talking about his upcoming 2nd book, True Believer.
Dating a former Navy SEAL had sparked my interest in SEALs and that’s how I stumbled upon the podcast. I was familiar with Special Forces and Armed Forces, but I can honestly say I didn’t know much, if anything at all, about Navy SEALS. To be honest, I didn’t know much about the Navy period. I just thought they mostly rode in ships and submarines, perhaps deeming them the least active and least dangerous jobs in the military.  Well, my eyes have been opened, I was as wrong as one could get, and I’m in ‘shock and awe’, especially when it comes to Navy SEALs.  Holy smokes! These guys are badass!  I mean, they are the real deal, the real commandos, the real men of valor and honor that to me are superheroes made of steel.  If you’ve read of any my blogs over any period of time then you know I’m a huge superhero nerd.  For me, Army Ranger’s used to be my military heroes, but they don’t top my list anymore.

Getting back to the book, The Terminal List by Jack Carr.  Even though I had developed this GREAT love and admiration for SEALs, I feared this book. I honestly thought it would be somewhat regimental, just a bunch of facts, details, and plot points put to the page, however listening to the way Jocko Willink read an excerpt (by the way – that man and his deep, smooth voice can read ANYTHING of mine), I was intrigued.  Then listening to Jack Carr tell his story, I could tell this man knew how to tell a story, stay on point, keep his threads together, and then circle back around to tie all the loose ends in a nice little bow. That gave me a little bit more hope that he’d be able to do the same in his writing …and I was not wrong.

Spoilers from this point forward:

The Terminal List begins with our main character, Lieutenant Commander James Reece, on a mission that never felt right with him, and in his gut knew was wrong in more ways than one, knew it went against his instincts and every bit of training and experience he has had on the SEAL teams, yet he was given an order from a higher authority.  He was almost home, he was almost out, just one more to go, and so he followed command.

That aspect right there grabbed me, because I can’t tell you how many times I ignored that gut feeling only to regret it later. I’m learning more and more to listen to it and heed it’s warning, because it’s never been wrong. I could tell I was already invested in this story because inside I was screaming, “Don’t do it! Listen to your gut! This is going to be a shit show!” Of course, I then reminded myself I was reading a book and you can’t have a story without conflict, so I sighed and said, “Ah, hell …bring it on.” Carr did NOT disappoint.  He brought the action. He brought the terminal velocity of a shit storm that played on every fear I would imagine any SEAL team leader would have – losing his whole team because of a decision he made, and him the only one to survive.  Talk about Survivor’s Guilt. Talk about Ownership. I was almost in tears just trying to wrap my head around the concept, but Jack Carr let me feel those emotions, but not for too long before he went and slapped me upside the head and pierce my heart with a double-whammy. 

Listen, teammates on a SEAL team are closer than family, they are brothers in arms, in heart, and in soul.  This character just lost his brothers, his team, his career, and pretty much any self-respect that he had for himself, and he hasn’t even had time to grieve, to accept it when Carr then has his wife, daughter and unborn son murdered.  Okay, I’m almost tearing up writing this.  SEALs are made of steel, but they’re not made of stone.  SEALs are the baddest warriors on this planet and they severely protect what they love – their country, their teammates and their families.  This warrior failed to protect them all – h…h…h…h…o…o…o…l…l…l…y…y…y… shit! Talk about stripping EVERYTHING from a man, down to his naked soul, and humiliating him in every imaginable way – that’s what this means.  I’m beginning to suspect Jack Carr is one sadistic asshole by this point to even be able to imagine enough to write it down in detail, but I have to think these are probably a SEALs worst fears. 

That’s what makes this story so much more than your typical thriller, because Jack Carr isn’t just writing about a hero that he made up in his head, a fantasy. He is a SEAL.  He is the real deal, so though he’s writing in this fictional format, there is a lot of truth, a lot of experience, a lot of authentic feelings, fears, and actions to draw from; he bleeds onto the page.  He doesn’t have to imagine it – he knows it.  And I think THAT fact is what made it even more of a journey for me.

Continuing … Reece loses his Team, and now his family, and his career …but he doesn’t stop being the intelligent, resourceful, master of all trades operator he’s been for the last couple decades, and fueled by his pain he begins putting the pieces together and starts seeking the answers to the question of WHY this happened to him and who is responsible.  He starts gathering the names for his Terminal List.

So, being the narcissistic asshole that I am … I’m going to stop the first segment of this review right here.  You will have to come back tomorrow to see what happens next - or you can go buy this awesome book, The Terminal List by Jack Carr, and read it for yourself.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Small Victories

I am having a great morning and I look forward to having a great day at work, and an even better evening. I’m actually really excited about a date I have planned tonight with my boyfriend Scott, and would love to spend this time gushing about it, but that’s not how these blogs work.  I made a deal with myself years ago that I would write as my heart leads – as openly and honestly as I can manage. It took me a while to learn to listen to that still small voice inside, and she’s become clear and pronounced.  So, no boyfriend-gushing and onto the message of the day - Small Victories.

Lisa and I have been working hard over the past several months, staying faithful to our workouts and the workout goals we’ve set for ourselves.  These are not earth-shattering choices, but they’re important to the two of us; important to the choices we’ve made for our lives, and the goals we want to achieve in them. Yes, we are those crazy people that get up at 4am in the morning and then freely choose to abuse our bodies long before we start our work day.  I take it a little extra step and abuse my mind too – in writing these blog posts every morning.  But, is it really abuse? No – they are small victories. 

Here’s the thing about small victories – they are the steps necessary to reach the big ones, and they are the things that give our lives their true value. I don’t know about you, but I don’t just wake up in the morning, grab my magic wand, and wave it around and all the things I want to achieve in this life and they just magically appear. Thank God for that.  Thank God that I have to work hard for the things I want, to provide for myself, to earn a living in order to reward myself with a vacation.  Thank God I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth or have had everything I ever needed given to me. Thank God I don’t have perfect genetics and a perfect body and have to work at it to keep it beautiful and functioning properly. Thank God I have weaknesses, and fears, and struggles. 

I know some of you right now are thinking I’ve gone off the deep end, because NOBODY in their right mind is thankful for those struggles and pains, but I am - because chasing those dreams, achieving those small victories, working on those faults and insecurities, and pushing past the pain ...those are the things that make me who I am and makes my life worth living.  It’s what creates in me a true appreciation for who I am, what I have, and pride for what I achieve.  It’s the “PURSUIT” of happiness that gives life meaning. It rising up from the ground after a failure that gives life purpose. It’s learning to breathe again after getting the air knocked out of our lungs that creates a gratitude in the soul. It’s learning to push through the adversity and finding the strength inside of ourselves to push a little farther, to push a little harder, to push beyond the pain and find our truth strength.  It’s learning to love again after getting your heart crushed. It’s all those life lessons that make us better people. We have an increasingly ungrateful society because we are not allowing our children to ‘work’ and ‘struggle’ for what they want and need.

Small and large victories are either won or lost at the moment of conception by our mindsets. No matter how strong we are, we are failures if we quit. We will quit if we have not already made up our minds that quitting isn’t an option.  I heard a phrase yesterday from author and Navy SEAL Jack Carr promoting his new book on Jocko’s podcast that struck a chord.  He talked about these tough, built, strong athletes that quit early into BUD/S training. He called them ‘fitter quitters.” These guys who trained for years to be in the best physical shape possible, thought they could succeed on strength alone, but they didn’t develop their no-quit mindset and that’s where they failed. They quit. They rang the bell.

We can’t develop a strong mindset without experience and training.  We are not born with a mindset that overcomes adversity. No matter how strong, beautiful, talented, or privileged we are, if we are weak-minded we will fail. My boyfriend told me last night to laugh at my pain and I’ll overcome it, because he understands the true struggle isn’t the physical pain but the state of the mindset when facing pain – that the mind controls my victory or failure.

So, my small victory this week is that I stayed faithful to my workout goals and I pushed through the pain, slayed all the available excuses, suffered through the struggle – keeping my eyes on the prize, knowing that my tribulations were temporary because I made up my mind before I began that I was going to succeed.  I wanted more of what was on the other side of my victory than what my body, mind, and senses whispered to me in the moment. It was a battle of will vs want.  It was a successful week – and I’m so proud of my small victory.

Ps. I’m also excited about my date tonight with my amazing boyfriend. LOL!

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray