We all go through phases in our lives. Most of mine have consisted of a seasons that
moved forward. I didn’t have time to go
any other direction. There were other
people depending me, so I dug in and did what had to be done for them. Where I went wrong – I should have taken the
same consideration for myself.
This time last year I found myself, for the
first time, alone and where no one needed me anymore, therefore the reason for
my forward motion vanished. It seems
like it instantly popped out of existence, but I now realize it had been a
gradual fade over the past few years.
What happened – I entered into an identity
crisis. I didn’t know who I was because
I had always identified myself by how I was needed. Over the next twelve months I experienced joy
and pain, confusion and clarity as I learned to identify who I was, what I
wanted, and what was I supposed to do now.
I found myself in an atmosphere that allowed,
hell - it encouraged, procrastination. I
got no serious writing accomplished, but I learned some new writing
techniques. I met and jumped right into
helping other writers realize their dream, while putting my own on hold. This
place of procrastination allowed me to help as I healed. But, it’s no longer
useful to me, only a hindrance and a place of frustration. It needed me. I no longer needed it.
I know who I am now. I know what I want. It’s
time to get busy. So, today - I walked
away from that place offering its deceptive Lotus flowers made to keep me in a
state of suspension. I’m back moving forward. The time has come to knock the dust off the
bottom of my shoes and move forward. I’m
leaving behind anything that slows or hinders my forward motion.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray
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