Moderation is for Cowards

I recently heard a quote that missed my head and hit me right in the soul that it’s taken me a few days to digest it.  It said, “Anything in life worth doing, is worth overdoing, moderation is for cowards.” I don’t know the author of this quote or even where I heard it, but it reminds me of another quote by Hunter S. Thompson, “Anything worth doing is worth doing well.” David Goggins recently inspired me with, “Choose to be uncommon amongst uncommon people.” But, I suppose my favorite comes from Philippians 4:8 – “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on these things.”

There’s something to be said about giving our all, our best effort and our energy into what we want to achieve in this life.  I have a spirit of excellence. I don’t know how to do anything half-assed. It’s not in my psychological makeup. Call me an A-type personality, OCD, or an over-thinker, none of those names matter – because what I feel it comes down to, in the base, in the foundation, in the root  of my very being …is that I’m not a coward.

I am afraid of a lot of things. I’m afraid of fear. I’m afraid of failure. I’m afraid of disappointment.  I’m afraid of judgement.  I’m afraid of not being enough, not good enough, or being too much. But Fear doesn’t rule me. Fear doesn’t control me. Fear sure as hell doesn’t stop me.  I believe everyone is afraid of rejection, judgement, and failure in emotional, psychological and physical aspects.  But, excellence and facing those life obstacles, standing up to fear …is what separates us, and moderation is for cowards.

Cowards lie to themselves and everyone else around them. They pretend life is some fucking fairy-tale as they smoke their peace pipes and stick their heads in the sands of modern philosophy. They’re excuse makers and moderate pussies. Albert Einstein once said, “The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.”

I believe hate is bad, and the way our world hates each other breaks my heart. But, hate is better than indifference. Indifference is the cruelest emotion.  Indifferences doesn’t care. Hate is at least filled with passion.  Those who are indifferent and don’t care – cause the most damage in the world.  Those who don’t feel it necessary, or are afraid to feel emotion, love, or passion, those who don’t give their best or approach everything in life with everything they have, who wants to do everything in moderation – are cowards, nothing more than a yellow-bellied sap-sucking woodpecker banging their beaks against the grain, causing a ruckus but changing nothing. A complete nuisance and waste of space.

I don’t have time or patience or respect for moderation cowards.  I don’t care what you do, but whatever it is – do it with excellence, overdo it, do it well, be uncommon and make it happen – or else get the fuck out of the way for the real heroes. Take a chance.  Make the jump. Fight the good fight.  Kiss the girl. Leave the hiding to the cowards, let them fight over the breadcrumbs life has to offer.  Not me – I am a warrior and I seek to surround myself with warriors who can’t accept moderation.

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray

Heroes

he·ro

[ˈhirō]

1.      person who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.

"a war hero"

·         the chief male character in a book, play, or movie, who is typically identified with good qualities, and with whom the reader is expected to sympathize.

synonyms:

·          (in mythology and folklore) a person of superhuman qualities and often semidivine origin, in particular one whose exploits were the subject of ancient Greek myths.

I’ve had the honor of meeting and knowing many heroes in my life. Not all of them served in the military. On the contrary, many of them were uncommon people trying to survive in an ordinary world and realizing they had to be better. 

I recently heard a phrase from former Navy SEAL and now Motivational Speaker David Goggins that hit me right in my soul. “You have to be uncommon amongst uncommon people.”  Meaning – that it wasn’t good enough just to be uncommon, to strive to be stronger, better, faster, smarter or more determined than the average “common” man in order to truly succeed.  No, you have to be even more uncommon than just uncommon.  You have to constantly strive to be better than your best – knowing your best is already better than the ordinary and the common. Never stop striving, never settle. 

What I took from what Goggins said was this - Once I succeeded at something – I kept going, kept striving, kept dreaming and kept moving to succeed at even more things in my life.  THAT’s the true mark of success.  It’s not the obtaining something that identifies success, but the process by which we reach our goals.  I’m not successful because I wrote a book and it hit a list. My true success was the journey, the dreaming, the writing, the editing, the submitting, the marketing, the path, the experiences, the failures, and the will to keep going after bad reviews and scores of rejections. It was believing in myself and not giving up.  It was …being uncommon amongst uncommon people.

I’ve recently started dating a man that inspires me because he’s got dreams, goals, aspirations, and a will of steel to make them happen.  He’s accomplished much in this world and in my eyes is a true hero. Not just because he served his country and put his life on the line for it for many years as a Navy SEAL, but because he didn’t stop dreaming, didn’t stop struggling, didn’t stop training, didn’t stop striving for success in life. He’s got a dream and he’s working hard to fulfill that dream. He set his mind as a child to become a Frogman, and then he fought for that dream until he made it happen.  He didn’t let life come in and deter his path.  He’s a fighter, and he’s always training for the next fight – literally and figuratively.  He doesn’t let his age stop him. He doesn’t let diabetes stop him. He doesn’t let other people stop him.  He is uncommon amongst uncommon people. I’m sometimes overwhelmed at how much I admire him for those things.

But heroes come in all different packages. 

·         A single-parent giving up their wants and desires in order to care and provide for their children is a hero in my eyes. 

·         A man or woman with the courage to stand up to and walk away from an emotional or physical abusive partner is a hero in my eyes.

·         A teacher that continues to hope, to teach, to strive to open minds despite statistics, economics, politics, disobedient and disrespectful students, and sorry-ass lazy parents are heroes in my eyes.

·         Those who volunteer and give their time, love, energy, and gifts to making the world a better place, caring for our earth, our animals and humanity are heroes in my eyes.

·         Those who seek to protect our children, our elderly, our veterans, and our mentally challenged or physically handicapped are heroes in my eyes.

There are many heroes amongst us, there are uncommon people amongst uncommon people if we just look hard enough. Yes, there are more common people (sheep) than uncommon, there are more predators (wolves) creating more victims than heroes, but there are a few uncommon warriors (sheepdogs) among us that protect us, that risk their lives, their livihood, their safety, and their peace for the world around them. I appreciate them. I adore them. I admire them. I strive to be one of them. I could never settle for being common.  I could never settle for being uncommon.  I desire to be uncommon amongst uncommon people. To be called crazy for chasing my goals and dreams. To be misunderstood and outcast for following my own path. For being myself and true to myself.

So, thank you James, thank you Goggins, thank you Rothfuss and Lawrence, and thank you Scott for inspiring me. You’re all my heroes.

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray

My Hero - This We'll Defend

We all have our idea and definition of what makes a hero. For some it would require a fancy suit and epic tale, but for me it’s in the little things that are truly not so little when you add them up, that makes a hero.  In this story, my hero’s suit is a U.S. Army uniform.

I have the honor and privilege to be surrounded by real heroes, though they would argue with me for calling them such a thing.  One of my friends, and he knows who he is, often argues and disagrees with me for calling him a hero.  But, regardless of his own definition and interpretation - he will always be a hero to me.

Who are my heroes?  They’re all men and women who wouldn’t want their names to be mentioned or even referenced, yet I have the honor and privilege to call them ‘friend’.  They will probably not want to read this post just because their mouths and stomachs are stuffed with humble pie. But this isn’t their blog, it’s mine.  It’s made for me to express MY opinion.  The admiration and love I have for these men and women sometimes brings me to tears it’s so overwhelming.

One of my heroes is a friend that currently serves as a Drill Sergeant at Fort Benning.  I’ve never seen someone work so much.  The hours he puts into his job brings new meaning to the phrase, “Thank you for your service.”  This man is LIVING to serve.  He sacrifices seeing his family.  He has no time for a social life or recreation.  He works so much that most of the time I’m around him, or while communicating with him, he’s falling asleep on his feet.  Some women would get upset about that, but not me.  I’m honored.  He’s a soldier in the U.S. Army, he’s seen combat and stood against our enemies, yet finds enough comfort in my presence to let down his guard and rest.  It’s the highest compliment he could ever pay me.

My Drill Sergeant friend is one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen, not because he’s very handsome, but because of his dedication to what he does.  He cares about his job; his mission.  He cares about the impact he makes on the men he’s training.  I recently got to spend some time with those young men and I listened to how they spoke about my friend, and I heard the admiration and respect they had for him.  It brought me to tears while sitting in a circle of about 20 of them and one of these young men stood up and said, “I’m not afraid of what Drill Sergeant would do to me; I only fear disappointing him.”  You can’t buy, instill, or force that kind of respect.  It’s earned.  He never has to tell me anything else about himself  for me to know he’s a hero.  The respect in his men’s eyes are witness enough. I hope my eyes reflect the same respect.

I’ve watched my Drill Sergeant command, I’ve observed him lead, I’ve witnessed him teach, and I’ve never admired anyone more.  I appreciate him more than I could ever express.  I know not everyone who wears a uniform operates at his level of excellence and dedication, but he alone has restored my faith in the majority of those who do wear the uniform.  When I see the Army logo now it is his face that has become the face of that symbol.  Because of his leadership I have more confidence in those he sends out to fight, to protect, and to serve, because I know they’ve been taught by the best. I love and admire him deeply.

My Drill Sergeant wouldn’t want me to mention his name, and I will respect his privacy not to do so, nor mention the names of my other Army friends who I also love and admire and think of as heroes.  They know who they are … Ranger, Bestie, Major and Sergeant.  But I will share with you all a picture of my hero Drill Sergeant in service.

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray

Good Morning, World - 05/02/2014 - Heroes

To all those who serve - Thank You. 

Superman (It's Not Easy) Article

Okay guys, if you know me, you know my insatiable love of all things Superman.  So, check out my new article at SongPlaces.com featuring the song "Superman (It ain't Easy) by Five for Fighting and the mysterious location of Smallville.

 http://www.songplaces.com/Superman_It_s_Not_Easy_/Iowa

Check it out and enjoy the article.

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray

Here’s a snippet:

I wish that I could cry, fall upon my knees.  Find a way to lie about a home I'll never see.  It may sound absurd, but don't be naive, even heroes have a right to bleed.  I may be disturbed, but won't you concede, even heroes have the right to dream.  It's not easy to be me.

There were a lot of attributes about Superman that were very popular, but the ones that this song - and fans like myself - seem to value most was the ability to "never tell a lie". It wasn't that he could fly, leap tall buildings in a single bound, or run faster than a locomotive, but his honesty, his heart, and his passion that made him a true hero.  I relate to how he felt as an orphan, having that strong desire to find an identity, to belong somewhere  to someone.  No matter how magnificent Superman's abilities, his greatest attributes were his love and use of his powers to save an often ungrateful and selfish world.

Thank you, Veterans

Thank You, Veterans
 


 I’ve had the honor of knowing many veterans, from several different branches of the military, and from several different countries, not just the United States. I can’t express how much gratitude I have for their service.

 I know many veterans who don’t like it or feel uncomfortable when people thank and honor them for their service. To many of them their service is simply their duty and don’t understand what we honor. They’ve been taught to be heroes, but not to think of themselves as such. That is another aspect of them that I honor. 

While I honor the individual and the choice they made to put their lives on the line for me, my family, my country, or in the defense of others, when I say “thank you” to a veteran, it is part for their individual service, but it’s also in part for those I can no longer tell those words, to those who did not come home.

 “Thank you.”

 Till next time, ~T.L. Gray
http://www.bubblews.com/news/1550740-thank-you-veterans

The Story of Our Lives

Oh, how I long for the days of getting lost in the pages of a great adventure, where not only my mind, but my heart, soars for an honorable quest.  Every day I learn more and more why I love fantasy and the rise of a reluctant hero.  As I look around me, I see a world full of excuses; people blaming someone or something else for their own weaknesses and failures; too many pessimists lying daily by the gates and refusing to stand and carry their mats.

Where are the moral quests and those with the fortitude and integrity to face their demons in the midst of their fears, and rise above them? 

Where are the dreamers who dare to hope and do what they must to rise above their situations? 

Who has the courage to rise out of the blight and reach toward the heavens and change their stars?

There has, and will always be, class warfare.  Money and prestige isn't what makes the difference - but the heart. The heart determines whether we are heroes or villains.   It's the compassion and determination that can take a poor farmer and turn him into a knight in shining armor, or a make a king into a tyrant, or gives courage to a valiant prince to lay his life on the line for his kingdom, or turn a beggar into a rapist or thief. Yet, the daily squabble continues over who has and who has not, and I search the faces for a reluctant hero to rise from the masses.  

If fantasy has taught me anything, it's this:  The sword is in my own hand.  It matters not who I am, what I have, or where I'm from - only who I want to be, what I want to achieve and where I'm going.  I am my own hero - and I control my own adventure - I determine what kind of story I will live.  No one else has that power over me.   

What about you?  Which character are you?