Detours, Assessments, and Adjustments of Goals and Dreams

I can't express how important it is to keep our goals and dreams in front of us.  Life has a way of coming in and disrupting our plans, getting our feet off our chosen paths, and throwing in twists, turns, roadblocks, detours, and obstacles.  That's normal.  Being human means being able to adapt and adjust to the situations and circumstances that come at us.  But if we are ever to fulfill our dreams and goals, we must continually be reminded of them, keep them posted in front of us, keep them shining like the North Star to be used as our guiding point and our compass. We need to constantly remind ourselves what we want to achieve, accomplish and experience in this life, assess our actions, adjust our options, and make necessary decisions.

Yes, we can and will experience all those unexpected and unplanned things, and many of them will be wonderful, will enrich our lives, and will change our directions.  Sometimes, its okay to shift and adapt - we become better for it.  The key is to be in control of those changes so that we don't lose the goals and dreams we set for ourselves.  This is the only way to not to be filled with a lot of regret because of forgotten, lost, and unfulfilled dreams.

Take a few moments today and remember your dreams, write down your goals, repeat them to yourself.  Take an assessment, look at your North Star,  and then determine if you need a readjustment to get you back on your chosen path or  if you need to select a new one. 

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray



Here is an updated status report and reminder to myself concerning my 2014 resolutions:

1. No more grieving. (I've had a moment or two, but for the most part, I've been smiling, hopeful and looking forward to the future. I'm happy.  I'm really happy.)
2. Fitness: Run a 5k (no walking), lose 50 more lbs, and get more fit.  (I've scheduled (5) five runs and will start back running/jogging on Monday - needed to heal from a sprain and sickness.  Joined three fitness challenges (Get Healthy West Georgia, Times-Georgian - Get Fit, and the 30-Day Arm Challenge), started a hula-hoop, sit-up, stair, and salsa-dancing routine.  So far I've officially lost 4.5 lbs  - 45.5 more to go.)
3. Go on a real romantic date. (Still working on this one.  Got close - actually planned one. Maybe soon I will make it a reality. It's still early, and I've got plenty of time.)
4. Take a vacation to one of my dream spots . (Making plans for a road trip in a smokin' hot Mustang convertible with a girlfriend in late June: Chicago to GreenBay and throughout parts of the Great Lakes.)
5. Finish one of my novels (completed and edited). (Started editing Hunter & Chase and wrote my first Character Blog post. Need to refocus and get busy.)
6. Sign and promote at least (5) five new authors with North Star. (Got several queries and submissions to weed through.)
7. Save at least ¼ of the money I need to move to the PNW. ($200 in the pot.)
8. Climb and descend the 605 steps at Amicalola Falls. (YES... DONE, DONE, DONE!!!!)
9. Hike at least 50 miles of the Appalachian Trial (not at the same time.) (7.5 miles completed, 42.5  miles left to go.)
10. Go White Water Rafting - (Tentative trip planned in late July. Maybe I can combine this with the date.)

Right in the Middle of My Life

Picture by T.L. Gray - Olympic National Park 05/30/2013

For my 42^nd birthday this past week, a dear friend of mine gave me a book called, “Finding Your Own North Star” by Martha Beck.  For those of you who know me, you’re aware I’ve started a company called North Star, so the title of this book fit perfectly.  It isn’t the title alone that grabbed my attention, but the opening paragraph.  In addition to the partial quote above, it goes on to say: “I don’t even want to remember how scary that space was – makes me feel like I’m gonna die or something.  I’m only telling you about it because a lot of good came of it in the long run.  So anyway, I don’t even know how I ended up so far off course.  I felt like I’d been sleepwalking.”  - Dan, age 41.

I've made this statement quite often, especially among some of these blog posts.  According to Beck, the above is a loose rendition of the first twelve lines of The Devine Comedy written in 1307 by Dante Alighieri.  Changing course in the middle of life seems to be a common theme throughout history.  Moses was forty before he began to free the Israelite slaves, Abraham was already married and well-seasoned when he separated from everything he knew to wander into the wilderness, and even Jesus himself was thirty-three before being called into the desert and starting his short-lived ministry. 

Beck goes on to claim that everyone is on a journey, searching for three main things in life – truth, love and joy, and these aspects she calls collectively the “North Star”.  Everyone knows the Stella Polaris is fixed in the heavens and doesn’t move. Everything else moves, but this a fixed central point.

“You may think you’re utterly lost, that you’re going to die a bewildered death in the Dark Wood of Error.  But brush away those leaves, wait for the clouds to clear, and you’ll see your destiny shining as brightly as ever: the fixed point in the constantly changing constellations of your life,” Beck writes.

Wow, that’s exactly how I feel… utterly lost and hopelessly bewildered; like a bit of my soul is dying every day amid the pain, confusion and worry of this mid-life shift.  I don’t know what tomorrow holds and I fear meeting even the basic of my needs, but in the middle of my fear, with shaking hands and wobbly knees, I march forward.  The pain of my heartbreak is so thick and so strong, I can barely breathe at times, but I move onward. 

I pray I can brush away these leaves - the ones tussled in my hair from falling on my face - and look skyward to see the clouds of my despair parting, because I really need to find my “North Star”.  I know it’s there, I’ve seen it before; I’m lost without it.  I don’t want to wander this wilderness anymore.  Beck writes that when we can’t see our North Stars, we have built in compasses to help guide us in our search for our true paths.  The following chapters of this book promises to help us discover and learn how to use and rely on these inner compasses, so that when we find ourselves once again (for there will be many) lost, cloudy or off course, we have to go on faith and trust our inner compass in order to stay close to our right life,  and live the life we were meant to live.

That’s one hell of a tall order, but right now I’m taking a chance on faith and trusting Beck knows what she’s talking about.  What do I have to lose?  Will it be painless?  Not in my experience.  According to Dante, the way back to la verace via, the true path, lay directly through Hell.  THAT I understand, but fighting and surviving Hell was always worth the effort when I knew what I was fighting for or against; knowing  that purpose (North Star – destiny) helped keep me focused no matter the pain.  I need that again, I need to find and be reminded of my North Star.  Perhaps the name of my company means much more than I initially realized? 

Do you know where your North Star lies?

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray