Well, it’s
day five and I’m still moving forward.
Not in leaps and bounds, but in tiny steps, but the most important thing
is that I’m moving.
One of the
ways and keys to moving forward is making plans and small changes to fulfill
those plans. If you would have asked me
last year what my plans were, they would be so different than the plans I’m
making now. Why is that? Because of the people that are in my life
now.
Since last
year, I’ve met three people that I’ve fell madly in love with, and knowing them
has filled my life, my heart and now my plans, but I’ll get into that more as I
go through these plans that I’m making in my quest of moving forward.
Lighthouse Adventure.
As most of you already know, I’m on a quest to visit, picture, and
explore all the lighthouses along the Florida coast from Amelia Island to
Pensacola, including the keys. I’ve
already discovered, photo, or visited more than ten so far. I’m constantly searching maps, books, and
google maps searching and researching the lighthouses of Florida. It’s fun, it’s
exciting, it’s educational, and it’s an adventure that makes me smile.
Writing. As you can see, I’ve picked up
blogging on a regular basis again, but I haven’t given any time to writing. But, as part of moving forward in my writing,
I’m making a promise, a plan, to write at least one thing a week…whether a
short story, or a chapter, or an article.
This doesn’t include blogging. I
plan to do that every week day.
Gaming.
I’ve been playing Xbox video games now for the last 4 years, starting
with Assassin’s Creed, Red Dead Redemption, and then moving to Destiny, with
splashes of GTAV, Halo, Call of Duty, and various new games here and
there. I’m not hard core, but I enjoy
them. Most of all I enjoy the company of
my gamer friends. My plan is make time
to play, at least an hour a day during the week, and no more than a few hours
on the weekend.
Side note: Well,
my boys (two of the three people I’ve met this past year that I mentioned above),
Anthony and Nathan, now play video games with me. It’s a common ground activity for us, a way
to spend quality time together, doing something we all enjoy, yet in the
comfort of our own homes/rooms. I love
hanging out with these boys, they are two amazing teenagers, and I know they
wouldn’t be the remarkable kids they are without the love and guidance of their
father, Jon. He’s a single dad and got a
lot on his plate, but one of the things I admire most about him is the love he
pours into these boys. He’s not perfect
by any means, struggles on many levels, but on the important things, I feel he’s
doing a damned good job. I also don’t think he gets enough credit for
the effort he makes. He lets his boys be
themselves, but within defined guidelines.
He always tells them he loves them.
He’s always hugging them. Most of
all, in his busy world with all his responsibilities, he spends QUALITY time with
them whether taking them fishing or surfing, or playing a vicious game of
Monopoly or Poker. He’s home with them
after work, and then spends most weekends with them. He makes them brush their teeth, do their
chores, and pitch in with cooking, doing laundry, instead of doing everything
for them.
Warning:
Rant ahead. It pisses me off sometimes
when his selfish friends are always asking him to go do things that they want
or need, that will take him away from time with his boys, when they have no similar
responsibilities, or when they take advantage of him by asking him to do things
to help themselves in the middle of THEIR crisis, instead of helping HIM. I’ve never
heard any of them offer to take him and his boys on an adventure, go over and
help him clean his house, cook him a meal to feed his boys, or ask him if he
needs anything. He wouldn’t take their help if they offered it, but they never
offer. They come to him with their relationship problems, stupid-ass choice, and
dire straits, because he listens and he cares.
They take, take, and take… want, want, and want for themselves and what THEY
need. Where’s the giving? Where’s the helping? Where’s the love? They’re
selfish bastards. (And I don’t give a fuck if they get pissed at me for feeling
this way. I’ve yet to see any of those fuckers do anything for that family but
take. And there have been many opportunities for those fuckers to help. Fuck them!)
Yet, Jon would do anything to help any of them if they needed it, and he helps
them often (I’ve witnessed it), usually at the sacrifice of valuable time that
he needs to keep on top of his own responsibilities. Fucking selfish bitches. Yet,
when he needed something – none of those bitches were around. A real friend
wouldn’t have to be told what he needs, they would see it. I don’t want to get
to know any of them, and the one’s I have gotten to know so far, I’m not
impressed. Yes, it’s important that Jon spends some time for himself, doing
adult things, not forgetting he’s not just a father, but a man or a friend. But
his friends should be more considerate of his responsibilities and not even ask
him to do anything that would make meeting those responsibilities harder or
more of a burden for him. Take the man out to eat, put gas in his truck, help
him change a tire, buy him a beer, go surfing with him (even if it’s not your
thing – do something HE loves, not just ask him to join in YOUR activities), take
him to a movie, or play a game of poker (bring him a fat cigar too – he loves
those). Oy veh! Okay – rant over, back to the regularly scheduled program.
Fishing.
I plan to learn how to fish. Not
just because I want to know myself, nor for the fact that I live in Florida and
with all the lakes, rivers, and ocean all around me, fishing is abundant. I want to learn how to fish, because I know
it’s a passion for Nathan, and I want to be able to share in that activity with
him. I’ve seen this kid’s face
completely light up when it comes to fishing.
Seeing that love and excitement on his face, that’s worth it to
learn. So, I’ll be researching poles,
equipment, bait, methods, patterns, etc.
That’s one of my new goals, and I’m excited about it.
Sailing.
I have also met this year a wonderful new friend, Jason, that can see
the joy and excitement on my face when out on the water, and has offered to
make that activity available to me. This
is one of those treasured friends that are rare to find. I’m glad I met him and
I’m glad he’s my friend. I’ve been sailing
now a few times, and boating aboard a floating Christmas tree a couple times,
and planning a huge trip later in 2017.
I love being on the water. I love being in nature. I can’t express how
it soothes my soul. Nor can I truly express how grateful I am to the
opportunity Jason is offering me, and not just me, but for those I love most
too… like my best friend Jenna, and my boys, Anthony and Nathan.
I’ll have
more plans as the new year unfolds, but right now I’m off to a good start. One
thing I’m suspending for the time being is dating. I’m open to get to know someone, but I still
need some time to heal. My heart is mangled mess and I don’t think it would be
a good idea to jump into a romantic relationship until my heart’s not hurting
anymore. I don’t want a band-aid or a temporary distraction, I want real, deep,
forever-kind of love. I want romance and
adventure. So, I’ll wait because doing
it right, being healed first, is important. Until then… I’m going to put all my
focus on moving forward. Healing is part
of moving forward. So, let’s take a new
step today.
Till next
time,
~T.L. Gray
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