Breaking Necks and Being Single

Being single today is hard, even if you're considered "pretty". Being single over 45 (I'm 48) is even harder. At this age I know more of what I don't want than what I do. I know more of what I need than what I don't. I know more of what I can tolerate than what I can't or refuse to tolerate.

One of the biggest signs you're getting older is when you catch yourself saying often, "What is happening to society today? What hapoened to ..." then fill in the blank. Well, whatever happened to respect, kindness, decency, and 'courting'? Yes, I said an old word ...courting.

I'm not really old-fashioned, nor am I narrow-minded. But, when does being a cheap piece of shit become the norm? Do those methods really work? Are women so low-minded in today's society they allow themselves to be treated as objects, cheap pieces of meat, bitches-n-ho's, and flavor-of-the-week-bae's?

I want to scream, "I'm not that easy. I'm not a piece of meat you can go to the grocery store and buy prepackaged. I'm wild, and I run really well, and my senses are sharp. Only the best tracker and skilled hunter will be able to even know I'm around, much less catch me. If you want simple and easy, you're in the wrong place."

I am currently not married, therefore I'm single. But, it appears that having the label 'single' is an invitation to every perverted, desperate-deginerate on the planet. I say planet because inappropriate messages, comments, and unsolicited pics and requests come from all over the world. So, its not just an American Asshole issue.

I'm a nice person. Any of you who have read my blog or posts for any length of time knows that I'm a very open, honest, and kind person. I fill my life with purpose, positive habits, and hobbies, and spend most of my time looking for the bright side, the hope side, and the victorious side of things. Most of all, I'm respectful. However, there seems to be another underlying cue to men that being nice, or saying a kind or encouraging word, or liking a meme or quote is a signal for flirting and open season on all the bullshit listed above.

I post a selfie every morning. That's another story, a long battle, and something Ive blogged about before. My selfies are for ME. They are not an advertisement to solicit 'other' kind of pictures for a viewing audience. Yet, I get asked regularly. Does that really work? Is the porn industry so hard that men seek their porn for free. Do women not value themselves enough not to be some perverts' flavor of the minute? You know damned well they are asking EVERY woman they message for their pics too ...you're just another set of titties. Before I get bombarded with comments ...I don't think there's anything wrong with a couple to share pics with one another. I believe it's a wonderful tool to keep things spicy in a beautiful relationship. But when a man doesn't even know my name asks me for a 'sexy pic', I literally get disgusted. I have resting-bitch-face. You should see my expression when that happens. Believe me, no one will mistake my thoughts or feelings on the matter. Most often though, besides being disgusted, I'm disappointed. I'm saddened and now regard that man as having a mental handicap, regardless of his education or success.

I don't want to be disappointed or ashamed of men. I love men. I know so many great men. I know real life gentlemen, true heroes, great fathers, wonderful brothers, and spectacular sons. I love and admire their capabilities, their strengths, and their physique. I want to be proud of every one of them, so it hurts to see some of them fall so low over something so fucking stupid.

...and the women. I cry! I cry almost daily when I see the state of women. I am a feminist and have fought for the rights and dignity of women my whole life, starting with my severely abused and handicapped mother. I am a survivor, not a victim. History has not been kind to women. Most of the world is still cruel to women. But the most abusive, demeaning, and detrimental species to women are other women. The most cruel, abusive, demeaning and detrimental species to men is women. Before you women spam me with hate mail, think about it, honestly, and you'll see I'm right.

I love women. No, I'm no homosexual or bisexual, but that doesn't mean I don't respect those sexual choices. I just know what I like, and I'm attracted to warriors, often bearded badasses dripping with confidence. It's just my preference. But, I love the beauty, the nurturing kindness, the inner strength, the fighter spirit, the ability to see potential in simplicity, and the healing nature of women. I believe women are the strongest beings on this planet. We can often survive what would break the toughest of warriors. But to see a woman debase herself to accept the behavior, advances, and demeaning treatment makes me sick. And when I see a woman do the same thing to others, makes me angry. There are so many I literally want to beat the stupid out of them. Women are the neck of society. We turn the head, we connect the head to the body. The state of things lay more at the feet of women more than anything, and I want to break a few necks everytime I get a rude, suggestive, or disrespectful message.

Bottom line - everyone is responsible for their own actions regardless of influence. I'm responsible to not allow that disrespect in my life. So, if you're that way toward me and I delete, turn down, or block you - suck it up Butter Cup and try to be a better person.

It's great being single, but it also sucks. Most of all, it's most important being a good person, to have integrity, and be filled with respect for myself and others. 

Make Your Bed

https://binged.it/2JLKRSi

“Want to change the world? Start by making your bed every day.” ~Admiral William H. McRaven

I have been doing this for as long as I can remember.  The part in this particular section of the speech that stuck out to me is when the Admiral said, “The little things in life matter. If you can’t do the little things right, you can never do the big things right.”  Much like Luke 16:10 – “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with the very little will also be dishonest with much.”

I live by this philosophy and try to be faithful in everything I do, because trust is important to me. I operate with a Spirit of Excellence, and it’s those things I truly value in others, trust being the first of those things. 

I don’t make my bed every morning because I have to, or because I feel the need. I make my bed every morning because it’s mine, I respect it, I want to take care of the things I possess, and it provides me with a sense of accomplishment, even if it’s a little mundane thing.  I want to be prepared for what’s coming next.  I want my bed ‘ready’ for me when it’s time for me to go to sleep.  It doesn’t magically make itself.  And yes, it will just get messed up again – and again – and again, but that’s no excuse NOT to make it up.  My body will get dirty again, and again, and again, but it’s my responsibility to wash it, feed it, clean it, exercise it, and take care of it.  If I don’t, it will not work properly. 

The reason making a bed is a small, yet huge important lesson, is because it’s an act that often no one but we ourselves can see.  It’s not a grand gesture out there for the world to notice to pat me on the back and say, ‘atta girl’.  It’s mundane, it’s simple, only something God and I know that I do, but that’s the point.  It’s a small thing – and the small things matter.  It’s the small things that make up our character, our will, our drive, and our integrity. 

So, make the bed, return the shopping cart to the proper area, pick up the piece of trash on the ground, open the door for others, let someone out at a busy intersection, reach up on the high shelf for the vertically challenged, call your parents, tell the people in your life you love them and appreciate them, say thank you, and be kind.  These things don’t make you weak or a fool for the cruel world to take advantage, on the contrary this is what makes someone tall in integrity and honor. 

As I get older, different things become important to me, and having friends and relationships with people of integrity is at the top of my list.  So, as the Admiral stated in his beautiful speech – make your bed every morning. Start off your day with a sense of accomplishment of having completed something, and then fill that day with other small successes.  Be a person of integrity. 

I made my bed, and then I got dressed and went to the gym and completed my work out. Now I’m writing my blog, and then headed off to work.  I’m already three success into the morning and I’m only getting started.  I’m changing my world, what about you?

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray