Who Surrounds You?

We’ve been told to be careful with who we hang out with our whole lives, starting with our parents warning us about wayward friends.  Most cautions were not in judgment against them, but for our protection.  When we became teenagers and thought we knew everything, we began making those decisions for ourselves, some resulting in huge mistakes.   This is all part of growing up.  Now that we’re adults, we need to use the wisdom we’ve gathered through our lives to this point, including both from our parents and our mistakes, but this doesn’t need only apply to our friends. As writers we must apply this principle to the people with whom we network in the business. 

A person is usually judged by the friends surrounding them, just as a writer is judged by whom they choose to network.   It is very important that we align ourselves with where we want to go and what we want to achieve, not necessarily where we currently stand.  It is a fact that if a person desires promotion, they must act and dress for the position they want, not the position they currently hold. If you want to be successful, you must align yourself with those who’ve succeeded, not be constantly surrounded by failure. 

Take an assessment.  Who are you investing your time and attention?  To those you admire and respect, or with those who want to hold you back?  Do the people around you encourage, inspire, and incite you to push through, to reach higher, to take another step, or do they accomplish nothing themselves and complain about those who do?  Do all the people around you only placate and pat you on the back, but never offer good, solid, sometimes hard, criticism to push you to your boundaries?  Platitudes are great, but only for the ego. 

A true writer should desire the truth, in a pursuit to improve and perfect their craft, but most often the artistic ego can’t handle the truth or constructive criticism.  An egotist only desires to stroke the ego.  Since becoming a writer and delving into the artistic world, I’ve never met more narcissistic people than those in the artistic guilds.  They’re mostly a bunch of snobs.  I don’t quite understand where this pretentiousness and elitist attitude extends from, but the air is thick with them, and usually the snootiest of the bunch is the one who holds the least amount of natural talent. Combine that with the one-trick ponies, which after twenty years have yet to display another gem of their genius, and it’s easy to find yourselves in company that is designed to hold you back and lead to failure or stagnation.

Be careful with whom you align.  Choose those who sow wisdom, knowledge, encouragement and truth into your life and career, not just their opinions.  Be selective which fellow authors you network with – do they write, market, inspire and encourage the way you hope?  If not, let them go, or else they will drag you down to their level.  However, please be careful not to block opportunities to sow into others who’ve yet to reach your level of success.  Just as you look to move up into the world of success, don’t forget to be a helping hand to others.  Whatsoever you do to the least of these …will be done to you.  Whatsoever you sow, that also shall you reap.  What you do FOR others reflects more on who you are, more than anything you can say.

Seek the opinions and reviews of those with the highest and strictest levels of excellence, and not your friends.  True friends tell you what you ‘need’ to hear, not what you ‘want’ to hear.  However, in my experience, there are few ‘true’ friends in this world, and those who try are often rejected because the recipient’s ego can’t handle the harsh truths that sometimes have to be said.  I’ve lost many of so-called friends because I’ve dared to tell the truth.  But I appreciate everyone in my life who’s dared to sow the truth to and in me.  Because of them, I’ve enhanced my craft and pushed myself to yet another level of excellence. 

I encourage you today.  Seek the next level above you. Write something that pushes you to the edge of your ability and beyond.  Seek a network connection that will help you take a step up.  Reach out to another author in whom you admire and respect, and to whom you are a huge fan.  Take a chance and submit a query to a bigger agent or publisher.  Request a review from someone you know is truthful, yet harsh, and whom you fear may give you hard criticism.  And, look for someone you can lend a hand or bit of encouragement. 

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray

Becoming Our Own Biggest Fan

Artists spend a great portion of their time creating their masterpieces, and then an even greater amount of time promoting and marketing them.  Like any relationship, the beginning of this process is filled with excitement and much zeal, but after a prolonged period of exposure, that enthusiasm begins to fade.

As artists, we need to make sure that the ‘love’ of our art doesn’t wane with the decrease of excitement, but solidifies to an even deeper degree.  The millionth time we meet a new fan, we must have the same degree of excitement for our work as we had with the first hundred. The only way this can happen successfully, is that we must become our own biggest fan.

One of the first things I learned in my college marketing class was: If we don’t believe in what we’re selling or promoting, neither will anyone else. If we’re not excited about our work, who else will be?  Not only does this excitement affect the way we market our products, but it greatly affects our stamina, determination and devotion. We must continually inspire ourselves in order to be an inspiration.

One of the basic laws of the human condition is: We want what everyone else wants.  A good marketing strategy is to create desire and demand.  The greatest tool to do just that is by becoming your own biggest fan.

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray

Progress

I love nothing more than seeing the actions, careers and success of my fellow writers move in a forward direction.  I don’t want to run this race by myself, but yearn to be surrounded by my friends and fellow artists; it makes the contest that much more enjoyable.  So, I’m going to take a few moments here and praise the efforts and successes of a few of my fellow writers:

Frank Allan Rogers – congratulations on your new publishing deal and I can’t wait to hop on the trail ride with the upcoming release of Twice Upon a Time. I love seeing you at a table, in a tent or at a booth next to me selling your books.  I’m truly a big fan and can’t wait to see how you rustle up and lasso other fans to your awesome talent.

Mary Cunningham – congratulations on completing another edition of the Cynthia’s Attic Series – The Legend of Lupin Woods.  I love your heart and compassion for the young readers of today.  May you find much success as you fill their young minds with great adventures, and their hearts with a love of reading.  

R.T. Kaelin – congratulations on the release of the new version of Progeny.  I really enjoyed this story, and I’m so glad to see the great response you’ve received from readers all over the world, and now big time agents.  I wish you much success at your appearance at Origins Conference in May, and I can’t wait to get my hands on a copy of the next installment in The Children of the White Lions Series. 

Now, a little shout out to the Up and Coming authors and their debut novels:

Thomas Young – Though I know you by another name, for the past few years I’ve watched you labor over your novel Coming Out of Winter.  I’ve also had the pleasure to see you take this labor of love and transform it into a screenplay, and now you’ve gone and broke it up into two books (which was a great move).  I’m excited to see you step over the threshold from writer to author, from conception of an idea to a printed publication, from a dreamer to making the dream come true.  I can’t wait to see you jump from one stepping stone to the next.  

Norma-Jean Sessamen – Your love and passion, mixed with your excitement and dedication has me on edge to see your hard work finally step into the spotlight it deserves.  I’m so proud of you, and the steps you’ve taken to sharpen your craft.  I’ll be like a proud mama bear when I see the release of Taken, the first book in The Hawthorne Series, finally be released into the world.  

Chuck Wanager – Chuck, Chuck, Chuck.  For many years the world got to experience the reporter; the journalist.  Now, they will get a chance to meet the novelist.  I’m really excited for you and the upcoming publishing deal and release of Jackson Flats.  Sometimes it’s those who struggle most, who appreciate the little things.  I want you to know I see and appreciate the little things you’ve brought to the CCWC.   If you can deliver a book like you deliver a newsletter, the world better watch out!

Shelly Murphy – I love your sense of humor.  I love your grace.  Congratulations on your publishing deal with Vabella Publishing and your upcoming release of Compost Happens.  This book made me laugh, and I know it’ll make the world laugh too.

If you are a fellow writer that I’m acquainted with and I didn’t mention you, it’s not because I’m not proud of you or that I don’t support you; that’s not the case.  It’s just that these seven artists were on my heart today.  These are the seven people I see running beside me at the moment.  I’m glad to see them here, and I hope that many, many more newbies can join us – soon!  (**cough**cough!  Johnathan Bright, Dawn Perry, Lorien Forrest, Ann Brown, , Susan Macdonald, Sue Lee, Laura Kirk, Kathy Camp, and Denise Wellman.  I know you all have first novels in the process and can’t wait to see them complete, published and make their debut into the world.)

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray

To Coattail or Not to Coattail ...

coat·tail

noun \ˈkōt-ˌtāl\

Definition of COATTAIL

1: the rear flap of a man's coat

2 plural : the skirts of a dress coat, cutaway, or frock coat

3 plural : the influence or pulling power of a popular movement or person (as a political candidate or celebrity) coattails>

Anytime I’ve heard this word used, it’s always with a negative connotation; defining the person who rode the coattail as being less than the person wearing the coat.  But, I’ve come to learn that just isn’t always the case.  In contrast to the popular consensus, the person riding the coattails is perhaps a bit cleverer than the one wearing the coat.   The one riding the coattails only has to use a portion of their strength or influence, while the one wearing the coat must extend their strength and influence in order to carry themselves and their passenger. 

Don’t get me wrong, I believe a person should make their way, and excel in their achievement based on their own merit, but that doesn’t mean their efforts have to be solitary.  We live in a social society where networking (meeting, knowing and associating) with the right people will provide an opportunity to open the right door.  What a person does on the other side of the door is what will measure their merit, not how they got to the door.  I’d wager that less than half of those who walk through an opportunity will succeed on the other side, because they lack the substance, gift or skill needed to sustain them.  However, the other half will soar to greatness, because greatness was already in them.  So, does it really matter if it took a coattail to make it to the door?  Only if it leads to a door you want?

There are many doors out there in this world, but I don’t want to walk through just any of them.  I’ve been offered many different types of coattails, but have turned many of them down. I have a certain adventure I want to accomplish in this lifetime, so there are only certain doors I want to walk through.  I have no qualms of riding on someone else’ coattails to reach them, or carrying someone else through doors I’ve already conquered.  In fact, I believe it a necessity and a privilege.  Look around you today?  Do you have a coattail someone else may benefit from, or one that you might find some benefit?  Then by all means … use it!

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray