Keeping it Balanced

Balance is the key to just about everything. As Einstein once wrote, “For every action there is an equal, but opposite, reaction.”  As human beings, we get off kilter, off center, off emotionally and off physically when we don’t have balance in every area of our life.  We need our Yin-Yang in balance and operate from a centered position. 

If I don’t eat a balanced diet, I will become unhealthy. Each of our bodies are different and have different responses, metabolisms, and digestive systems.  It is my responsibility to understand my body, and become a good steward of it.  It is my temple. It is my duty to nurture and protect it, and treat it with respect and dignity. While it is perfectly okay to treat it with delicious delights that tantalize my tongue, I must balance it with the nutrition and dietary supplement it needs. I have a slow metabolism and vitamin deficiency.  It is MY responsibility to make sure I eat the right foods to give me energy and nutrition, and take the vitamins I need to keep me healthy.

If I don’t get a balanced workout when I exercise, I will either not see the results I need or see too much results in what I want or don’t want.  My body is a machine and needs constant maintenance, and that is my responsibility.  It’s no one else’s job to get me to workout.  I love encouragement and support, and having a workout partner helps keep me on track, but it comes down to making a choice and seeing it fulfilled.

I have to balance work and play.  If I work too much, that makes me a work-a-holic and neglectful of my body and soul.  If I play too much, I neglect responsibility and accountability.  I must balance the two.  It’s important to have a job or career that gives a sense of purpose and pride and sharpens the skills within me to help me provide for my wants and needs.  It’s also important to chase my dreams and passions. They are important too.  Having a sense of purpose is important. Having drive and passion are important, but I must keep them in balance or they will become the harbingers of destruction or addiction.  Nothing hurts worse than having no purpose.

And then there is love and friendship … and those too must remain in balance. There are extremes from neglectful to obsessive, from fantastical to practical, and from underwhelming to over-bearing. Balance is key.  Love and friendship are important.  Any good relationship must have reciprocal feelings – a balance of give and take.  When there is unbalance, it becomes painful and destructive to both sides. 

Take time and look at life and see if things are in balance. If it’s too good to be true or just underwhelming – then it’s not in balance.  Seek balance in everything.  When someone tells you they are afraid to feel something, afraid to do something, or afraid to commit to something – run because there is no balance and there will be no peace.  They’re vampires – dead things seeking to such the life out of you until you are dead too.  Many people speak balance – but where there is no love, no passion, no drive, no responsibility, no faithfulness, no diligence, or no duty … there is no balance. Try driving on unbalanced tires - that’s how an unbalanced life feels.  I’m seeking balance.

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray

Life Unexpected

Good Morning, World. It's been a while since I've greeted you. It's not because of a bad thing, but a good one. I've been a little busy with life. There's been some big changes going on, and while they're quite stressful, I couldn't be happier.

I'm going to be a grandma! My baby girl is having a baby. I can't believe it. I look at her face and she's still my baby, and then I look down at her growing belly and realize she's gonna be a mommie. My baby is having a baby. I'm happy and scared all at the same time. But I have much faith in her. She's strong and she's a survivor. She's kind and caring. She's made mistakes like the rest of us, and will continue to make more like we also continue to do, but I know her heart. She gives everything to what she loves, and I know without doubt she's going to be a good mother because she's going to give to her baby all that love and devotion. I love her even more today than the day I first held her in my arms almost twenty-three years ago.

I can remember a few months ago feeling very lonely and missing having a family. I was lost. I was trying to figure out who I was, what I wanted, and where I wanted to go and do in life. The world was my oyster and I had so many choices in front of me, yet I couldn't move and often couldn't breathe. I was trying to date and felt overwhelmed every time I sat across the table from one strange face to the next, all describing their boxes and what they wanted in life to fill those boxes. I started to lose hope because none of those boxes were what I wanted. The problem was, I already had what I wanted I just didn't recognize it, because it hadn't manifested yet and didn't look like an expected box. My impatience always gets the better of me. Like everything else in my life, nothing comes in a 'normal' box. Normal doesn't really exist. I have had a family for a while, one that I've prayed for, one that I've dreamed about, one that I love very much right in front of me the whole time, it just didn't come to me in a normal way. I have a man that I love and respect who is my best friend and soulmate, two teenage boys that I adore and cherish to the moon and back, a best friend that is closer than any sister I've never had, and three dogs that I love and love me unconditionally. Now my baby girl has returned, and I'm about to be grandma. Wow, so much can change in just a few short weeks. God is good. He sees the true desires of your heart, even if you don't know what they are, and those are the things He manifests. None of these relationships are without problems and issues, but in spite of all those issues there is LOVE, real, deep, devoted love.

I have a new job! With my new and rapidly growing family, I need better financial support. While my current job, Percepta/Ford, has provided for me this past year, it can't sustain the future. I'm sad to be leaving my co-workers because I truly adore most of them and consider many of them good friends. I don't think I've ever worked anywhere where I've been so close. I am going to miss them terribly, and this week is going to be bitter-sweet. I often cry thinking about leaving them. They've been there for me during my mother's death, my brother's recent brush with death, me meeting and falling in love and then the heart-break that followed, the moving, and the dating, the drama, the drama, and the drama that seems to surround my life. They made it a joy to come to work every day. Again, they are part of that family that had been right in front of my face that I didn't recognize. Tomorrow is my last day with them, and then Monday I start my new job as a buyer at Italian Terrazzo.

So, good morning, World. As my blog titled says, this is the whimsical world of T.L. Gray - you better hang on because it's going to be bumpy ride. So, throw your hands up in the air and ride it like a real daredevil. LOL!

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray

Being Debt... Free.

So, I went online to check out my credit score and I got a "low" grade, being just shy of 700, a good auto insurance score of 864, and a good home insurance score over 850.

First of all... I didn't know there was an auto insurance and home insurance score.  And second of all... I don't care that I've got a low grade... I smiled bigger than you could believe when I looked down their report and saw:

·         Open credit card accounts: 0. 

·         Open auto loans: 0. 

·         Open home loans: 0.

·         Open other loans: 0. 

On my report card they gave me a "C" for my total accounts, but my grading system is a little different than theirs.  I think having no debt is a good thing.  Being debt-free is something to be proud of. 

I used to live on credit cards, car and mortgage loans, and student loans... and it made me a slave to the world's system. I worked hard and sacrificed a lot of wants, desires, and dreams to get free from all that debt - and right now all I have to worry about is surviving from day to day with providing for my basic necessities.

I liquidated a lot of "things" to be free, and gave up a lot of creature comforts… like driving a new car, monthly hair and nail appointments, seasonal shopping sprees, and buying what pleased the eye – to pay for later.  Now as I go forward, I work for what I want, chase what I desire, and sacrifice for what I dream.  A lot of times I have to say “no” to what pleases my eye, save up for months to do one special thing, or learn to hunt for bargains and sales. But, I now have a deep appreciation for the things I do get to enjoy.  My priorities changed… and adventures, not stuff, make me happy.

Being debt free didn't make it so I didn't have to work just as hard as the next guy.  We ALL have to work hard, and those who think they don’t have to work and have everything given to them, shame on them and their selfishness.  They're not free; they just often don’t realize it.  Nothing is free. But, the difference in the feeling of working by choice and working by force is something I can't express in words.

I hope I’m able to continue to be free. I’m finding just trying to provide the basic necessities of survival hard in and of itself.  I didn’t mind giving up that freedom for a time when I had a family to take care of, but it’s just me now.  I don’t have to be sensible, I can take chances.  Who knows the adventure that waits for me? 

Yeah, yeah, yeah… In my mind’s eye I can see all the Practical Sam’s out there pointing their fingers at me and lecturing me on responsibilities, duties, and retirement plans. I know I can fail miserably and end up in a homeless shelter… but I could also fly.

While the credit companies give me a "C"... I give me wings.

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray

Set Small Goals

Human beings crave a sense of accomplishment.  A defeatist attitude usually comes from not being able to meet the goals we set in our lives.  Often times, we give up when the pressures get too hard, and we feel like we spin our wheels, mercilessly, without any traction. 

Where we usually fail when it comes to meeting goals, is we often set them too big, especially if we’re a dreamer, or artistic in any way.  Creative people see no limit to the possibilities, and are open to most prospects, so we set our life goals in adherence to our dreams, regardless if they’re against the natural current.  Practical people usually shake their heads at this behavior, because they themselves usually opt for what is in their grasp, what they’re capable to achieve within reason, and don’t often fight the current seeing no sense in the action.  However, neither is wrong and the other right.  There should be a balance between the two. 

Dreamers should set impossible goals, because that’s where true dreams are realized.  However, we need to be practical in our application, and set for us a series of small goals along the way.   With each small accomplishment we achieve, we will also receive more confidence, more faith, and more inspiration to move forward.  If we constantly struggle against the current, without finding small pools of respite by the wayside, we’ll burn ourselves out.  We must be able to find small side-streams to rest and regroup, so that we will have the strength to make it all the way upstream. 

Your inspiration exercise today:  Think about what you really want out of life, and then try to think of at least six small steps you can take that will ‘lead’ in that direction, and then set one of them as your first goal.

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray