Focused Leap

I find it hard to really focus sometimes. I don’t think it’s because of some medical reason, but more of huge mental and psychological issues within myself. When I find myself looking for distraction it often means I’m wanting to hide, to escape, to avoid, to protect. But from what? It could one of a million things.

I’m a fighter. I’m strong-willed. I’m confident and courageous. But, I’m also very afraid. I’ve been burned. I’ve fallen hard. I’ve been so down, so lost, and so hopeless at times that I didn’t want to live anymore. I’ve seen and experienced horrors that would make nightmares pale in comparison. Yet, I have survived. I have overcome. I have defeated. Though rejected in the most cruel way, I still hold hope to be loved. Though abandoned, I still hope to be wanted. Though despised, I still hold hope to be desired.

There are no promises. There are no guarantees. There is only hope. All evidence points to an impossible existence, but I need only to remind myself of all the impossible things I’ve already accomplished. The only thing stopping me is choosing to focus. Once I make up my mind, turn my attention toward the thing I desire most, that’s when I leap. I always leap. It always requires a leap of faith. I leap knowing I could fall, knowing I could crash, knowing it could destroy me. But even more… I know not leaping would kill me.

What focused leap do you face?

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray

Climbing the Stairs of Success

Success is a difficult climb.  Someone who’s never had to work for it before, having things handed to them with little to no effort, cannot appreciate or understand the journey the way the rest of us, those who have to fight for every little step, can.   

I’ve succeeded at many things. I’ve failed at even more.  Today, I find myself on another stairway facing a multitude of steps before me, but I start the climb …one step at a time.

I’m out of shape, out of breath, and it seems out of patience, but I’m full of determination.  As I start my climb, I feel the strain on my legs, back and butt muscles. With proper conditioning, a steady pace, and plenty of water, I’ll find my stride and take those steps one at a time.

I smile, because I have a slight advantage to the other climbers along these jagged steps… I’ve run this race a few times before.  I know the costs, but I also have tasted the victory at the top and remember it’s sweetness.  I also know …it’s not how I start, but how I finish. 

Are you on your own set of stairs?  If so, pace yourself.  I wish you a wonderful journey.  Don’t forget to keep your eyes on the top, but every once in a while, glance around and see how far you’ve come.

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray