We are exactly where we choose to be. I’m not talking about any
situation we may find ourselves, because sometimes things outside our control
come in and effect our lives. But, the
condition we are in while inside that situation is completely up to us. We choose how we face our circumstances. We also choose our success or failure in that
battle by the selections we make in how we fight it, who we select as our
source of strength, encouragement, and support.
If we surround ourselves with defeatists, we will be defeated, because
they’re going to drain the hope, the life, and the strength we need to fight,
leaving us weak and vulnerable. If we
surround ourselves with positive, driven, deep thinkers and overcomers, then we
will draw from their positive energy and gain the strength we need to make us
strong. Once we are strong, we will then
have the energy to give back, to pour into, and to help others.
The greatest way OUT of our darkest times, deepest holes,
shattered hearts, and bouts of hopelessness is to change our atmosphere. Here are a few little changes you can make
that will help you change your success or failure. We can’t stop things from happening. We can’t protect ourselves from tragedy or
from the choices and actions of people who will hurt, use and abuse you. BUT, we are where we choose to be in our
responses and reactions. So, if you WANT
to change your circumstances, you’ve got to change your atmosphere and set
yourself up for success, not surround yourself with the things, choices and
people that will contribute to your defeat.
1.
Fill your
playlist with positive and energetic music.
Stop listening to songs filled with anger, defeat, heartbreak, stress or
other influences that lead your mind down a dark or dangerous path. There is a time and place for all songs and
all types of music. Music plays a huge
part in determining how we feel, what we think, what encourages us, or makes us
feel more defeated. Always listening to
angry songs, you’ll discover you carry around angry thoughts and feelings. Always listening to party songs, you’re going
to find yourself choosing to party.
Think about what you need in your life, think about where you want to
go, and then choose the songs and music to fill your playlist with songs that
will get you to that point. If you’re
struggling in your life right now and can’t see a way out, then listen to songs
that inspire you, that encourage you and give you hope. “Let’s Get it Started”, let your “Eye of the
Tiger” play over and over. Then, after
that, “Don’t Stop Believin” because once the change happens inside you, you’ll
start making the choices and decisions outside to put those changes into effect.
Sometimes we need “A New Pair of Jeans” to be “Feelin’ so Fly” and start
skipping through our “Beautiful Day.” “Get
up, Stand Up,” “Walk,” “Dream On,” because “I Feel Good,” and I “Don’t Give Up,”
nor will I “Let it Be.” Fill your life
with the lyrics that are going to push you.
“I’m a survivor, I’m not gonna give up, I’m not gonna stop, I’m gonna
work harder (Destiny’s Child – Survivor),” “I get knocked down, but I get up
again, you’re never gonna keep me down (TubThumping – Chumbawumba),” “Stronger
than yesterday, now it’s nothing but my way, my lonliness ain’t killing me no
more, I’m stronger (Stronger – Britney Spears),” “I get by, with a little help
from my friends (Joe Cocker),” “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, stand
a little taller (Stronger – Kelly Clarkson), “I’m walking on sunshine (Katrina
and the Waves).”
Get it? You’re already feeling better just hearing those
song references in your head right now. So, check your playlist. That’s the
power of music. Stop listening to those angry, depressing, and defeatist
songs. Inspire yourself. Change the atmosphere. Music puts energy in the air around you. Put the
right kind of energy in the air, into you, and let it flow through you. YOU ARE WHERE YOU CHOOSE to be. You make the
choice of what you listen to. Edit. Edit.
Edit.
2.
Fill your life with positive and energetic
people. Who are you hanging around with? Who are talking to? Who are you getting
advice from? Who do you spend most of your time reading their posts, texting,
chatting with, talking to? Who is influencing you? Look around and evaluate the people in your
life. Everybody is either pouring in or pulling out energy from and to
you. They are either building you or
tearing you down. They are either making
your life better or more complicated. Here’s
a couple tips that shouldn’t have to be said, but often the most overlooked and
cause the most damage to our efforts of change and success. Don’t take relationship advice from someone
that has a long history of bad relationships.
Don’t take financial advice from someone always broke and needing
help. Don’t take loyalty advice from a
cheater. Don’t take exercise advice from
a couch potato. Don’t take dietary
advice from a food addict. Honesty isn’t
found within a liar. Life isn’t found
within a vampire. Energy isn’t found in
a zombie. Love isn’t found in the player. Integrity isn’t found in deceitful. Maturity isn’t found in the immature. Success
isn’t found in those always in a disaster.
Surround yourselves with those who’ve been THROUGH some shit.. not ones
still going through it, again, and again, and again, and again. The only thing you’ll learn from them is how
to keep failing. But the ones who’ve
been down and have gotten back up, who have pulled themselves OUT of their
darkness and tasted success, who’ve actually ACHIEVED some things in their
life, those are the people who will inspire you. Being down isn’t a bad thing; staying down is. Failure is when someone doesn’t reach higher
or beyond their boundaries and circumstances.
Staying around the same type of friends will create an atmosphere of the
same defeat. You’ll find yourself
dealing with the same problems over and over and over and over again. That’s insane according to Einstein. So, change your atmosphere. Think about what
you really need in life, and then make THAT change.
Life
sucks sometimes. We all go through struggles where can’t seem to catch a break,
bills just keep piling up, responsibilities just seem so overwhelming that we get
to the point where we think we’re going to break, that we can’t hold up too
much longer. Our hearts have been
mangled, our lives turned upside down, and no matter how far we run, how much
we try to drown the pressure or numb the pain, we can’t find relief. Our bodies
ache and begin to fail from carrying the weight of our stress and pressure for
too long. We spiral, we fall, we push away the wrong people, surround ourselves
with even worse people, find comfort in playing with fire, destruction, just to
feel something. We listen to things that
constantly remind us how much life sucks, and we just stand in one single spot,
turning and turning and turning but getting nowhere. Stop!!!!!!!!! Please, just STOP!!!! Breathe. Pray. Know… “Everything’s gonna be alright.”
3.
Our
bodies carry our stress and pressure.
Change your atmosphere by changing your body. Start working on the outside and watch the
changes happen on the inside. Start
exercising, because exercise releases endorphins and adrenaline, and
dopamine. Don’t turn to alcohol and
drugs, turn to diet and exercise. Do
something good for your body. Feel
good. Feel strong. Feel healthy.
As you change your body, and work on changing mind by changing your
atmosphere, music, and friends, your soul will change. Have sex, but even with that, the kind of sex
will play a big role in that transformation.
While emotionless, uncommitted, and casual sex can be fun, it will add
no value to your life, only help contribute it to your defeat. We often think casual sex doesn’t affect us,
but it does. It affects our souls, it affects
our minds. Nothing is more healing than
the gentle touch from fingers filled with honest love and affection, a hug that
is honest and as strong as the love of the person wrapping their arms around,
and don’t even let me get started with a kiss that you feel down in the deepest
part of your soul. Having casual sex has
no real benefits, but comes with a LOT of added problems (std’s, possibility of
someone getting hurt, sharing intimate moments with someone that doesn’t care, infidelity,
lies, problems, stresses, unwanted pregnancies, etc), but making love – making love
with someone that deeply loves you, adores you, respects you, trusts you,
someone filled with integrity, honesty, and a pure heart – is a conduit that
gives and receives hope, inspiration, and energy.
We are where we choose by the choices we make. No matter where we are at this moment, it’s
not where we have to stay. If your heart
is broken – love another and let another love you. If you need help – help someone else and let
someone help you. If you need
inspiration – inspire others and let others inspire you. If you need encouragement – encourage others
and let others encourage you. Just be
careful who you choose, what you choose, and how you choose to give and
receive. It makes ALL the
difference. It’s our choice. It’s our responsibility. We are where we choose to be and how we choose
to be. Protect and fill your mind, your body, and your soul with the things
that will change your stars.
“Everything is permissible, but not everything is
beneficial.”
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray
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