Tuesday, July 09, 2013

Understanding Silence

Picture by Glyn Powell © 2013 - London, UK

Communication, in my opinion, is the most important element in any relationship.  But not all communication requires words.  Actually, I believe words are the least important part.  Action speaks loudly; inaction speaks even louder.

I’ve learned more from a touch, a look, or a cold shoulder than from words. That’s a strange comment coming from a writer.  My world revolves around words; I understand their power.  But in order for me to know how or which words to use, I need to know and understand human behavior; know body language; know actions and reactions.

I have a fear of rejection.  I’ve received it my whole life, especially from the ones who were supposed to love me most.  I know the body language and actions that accompany rejection, and sometimes when new people come into my life and engage in the same or similar actions, my first and natural response is to throw up my defensive walls. 

It takes a great effort for me hold back and not be offended or defensive.  Sometimes I fail, and my friends don’t often understand, because they don’t see that rejected little girl, I keep her hid quite well.  They see a strong leader, a go getter, a successful business woman, someone who stands strong in silence. I am all those things, because my fear of rejection propels me into action.  Being strong helps me overcome my fear.  Being outgoing helps me overcome my shyness.  Being confident helps me overcome my insecurities. Being accepting helps me overcome my sense of rejection.  Being assertive helps me overcome being scared.  Being silent helps me stay positive.

I know there will come more moments of rejection in my life, but I can’t allow that to paralyze me from being and doing what I need.  Hopefully, knowing these things about me, others will better understand my silence, not just my words.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray 


  1. Thought-provoking...

  2. The walls protect us, TL, but they also make it difficult for the potential good friends from getting close. Follow your heart, but don't let anyone tear out your heart. It's a balancing act, but the only game in town.

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  4. Thank you for putting these thoughts into words. I now can come back and re-read them when I too am feeling rejected.

    1. You're welcome. I'm glad you were able to relate to them. Thanks for reading.