The Dead Don't Scare

I went to church for the first time in a long time yesterday, and it felt good. I miss singing praise and worship. I miss the feeling of fellowship of being in the assembly. I still don’t miss the ministry.  I don’t know if I ever will. Anyway, the message was good, reiterated a lot of things I had heard before, reminded me of things I haven’t thought about in a long time, but most of all reassured me that my heart was still in the right place and focused on the right things … loving myself as Christ loves me, and loving my neighbor as myself. But there was a new thought, a new idea that planted seed in my heart and mind, and that is …the dead don’t scare. 

Dead people are not afraid.  Dead people don’t worry and are not moved by circumstances.  I get what the pastor was trying to convey – that since we are now ‘dead’ to our old life, we should not be afraid of the worries in this life, because we are now ‘alive’ in Christ by faith, and He’s got our back. When storms, either hurricanes or emotional train wrecks, come into our lives, we are to respond as ‘dead’ people to those fears and stand fearless in faith.  I get it.  I am not good at it, because most of my life responsibility has fallen on me, and when I’m responsible – I fear failure, I fear struggle, and I fear pain.  I’ve learned, just because I’m ‘in Christ’ doesn’t mean I’m going to be spared from failure, struggle and pain.  On the contrary – I think I feel them more.  So, it’s hard not to fear.  I don’t fear the circumstances, I fear the repercussions, the cost, and the sacrifices that are often required.  They’re hard. 

I see a different side of that phrase, perhaps as a cautionary tale …dead people don’t scare because they don’t care. I’ve been hurt too many times from narcissists and sociopaths, quite frequently by both the last couple of years.  We can have all the care in the world, but we can’t save the world. We can do our part, through our compassion, but we have to do it in balance, not just for their need, but for our need as well.  I believe I have this need and love deep inside me to help.  I try to look at the world and be the kind of person that I needed when I was younger.  I had no help. I had no one. I truly know what it feels like to be in this world unwanted and unloved, discarded, abused, and not matter to a single living soul. It’s not that way anymore. I have many people who love me, many people who care about me, but that feeling never leaves me; I never forget. It pushes me to care about the abused, the suffering, the neglected, and the forgotten.  I don’t jump on a cause bandwagon to be seen as caring and generous, or because it’s the fashionable thing to do. I’ve been giving, volunteering, helping, nurturing, raising, and taking care of people my whole life.  I’m not easy, and I sure as hell don’t placate and patronize.  Some people don’t “need” help - they’re predators, lazy, and/or liars.  I have NO sympathy for them.  But, I will do and give anything for someone struggling and giving everything they’ve got to pull themselves out.  I don’t give hand-outs, but I’m always willing to give a hand-up.

Yesterday, I got to see a group of dedicated people unafraid of the dangers or sacrifices it took to help send aide to the Bahama’s.  This group of men and women gathered their own resources, used their own boats, trucks, contacts, money and time to gather, sort, and pack aide.  They were not part of a big organization, wasn’t looking for photo ops, or wearing colored-coded matching identifying shirts.  These were local folks.  Amongst them were three brave combat veterans geared up, with smiles on their faces, to take relief supplies to the suffering people of the Bahamas amongst pirates and desperate people.  It’s dangerous to show up with a bunch of medicine, food, and supplies in an area devastated by a natural disaster, where looting and piracy is running rampant, and with no protection of a government or military aide.  Yet, they had NO FEAR.  All I saw was a desire to get the supplies to their destination as quick as possible.  I will post more about this Bahama’s 2019 Relief effort more in another blog post, because I want to spotlight these beautiful souls doing this great work, so stayed tuned later this week.

Until then, I’ll be thinking about fear, and how I tackle it.  I fear many things, and that’s natural.  What I want to be able to do is control how I respond to that fear.  That requires a deeper look.  Until then, I just have to keep thinking about how the dead don’t scare.

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray