Keeping it Balanced

Balance is the key to just about everything. As Einstein once wrote, “For every action there is an equal, but opposite, reaction.”  As human beings, we get off kilter, off center, off emotionally and off physically when we don’t have balance in every area of our life.  We need our Yin-Yang in balance and operate from a centered position. 

If I don’t eat a balanced diet, I will become unhealthy. Each of our bodies are different and have different responses, metabolisms, and digestive systems.  It is my responsibility to understand my body, and become a good steward of it.  It is my temple. It is my duty to nurture and protect it, and treat it with respect and dignity. While it is perfectly okay to treat it with delicious delights that tantalize my tongue, I must balance it with the nutrition and dietary supplement it needs. I have a slow metabolism and vitamin deficiency.  It is MY responsibility to make sure I eat the right foods to give me energy and nutrition, and take the vitamins I need to keep me healthy.

If I don’t get a balanced workout when I exercise, I will either not see the results I need or see too much results in what I want or don’t want.  My body is a machine and needs constant maintenance, and that is my responsibility.  It’s no one else’s job to get me to workout.  I love encouragement and support, and having a workout partner helps keep me on track, but it comes down to making a choice and seeing it fulfilled.

I have to balance work and play.  If I work too much, that makes me a work-a-holic and neglectful of my body and soul.  If I play too much, I neglect responsibility and accountability.  I must balance the two.  It’s important to have a job or career that gives a sense of purpose and pride and sharpens the skills within me to help me provide for my wants and needs.  It’s also important to chase my dreams and passions. They are important too.  Having a sense of purpose is important. Having drive and passion are important, but I must keep them in balance or they will become the harbingers of destruction or addiction.  Nothing hurts worse than having no purpose.

And then there is love and friendship … and those too must remain in balance. There are extremes from neglectful to obsessive, from fantastical to practical, and from underwhelming to over-bearing. Balance is key.  Love and friendship are important.  Any good relationship must have reciprocal feelings – a balance of give and take.  When there is unbalance, it becomes painful and destructive to both sides. 

Take time and look at life and see if things are in balance. If it’s too good to be true or just underwhelming – then it’s not in balance.  Seek balance in everything.  When someone tells you they are afraid to feel something, afraid to do something, or afraid to commit to something – run because there is no balance and there will be no peace.  They’re vampires – dead things seeking to such the life out of you until you are dead too.  Many people speak balance – but where there is no love, no passion, no drive, no responsibility, no faithfulness, no diligence, or no duty … there is no balance. Try driving on unbalanced tires - that’s how an unbalanced life feels.  I’m seeking balance.

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray

Body, Mind and Soul... Let's Go!

Well, it’s a new day and I’ve got a lot of things bubbling up inside and I’m ready to start working on them. Last night I went on a date, and I think that will be my last first date for a while. It really confirmed to me what I want in this life and that I no longer have the patience or tolerance for anything that will distract me from that goal. I had a pleasant time, but I couldn’t wait for the date to be over. I don’t want to play anymore. I don’t want to keep getting disappointed when others don’t or can’t meet my expectations. I didn’t quite realize what those expectations were until this weekend. They’re quite high. I’m tired of being hurt or let down. I’m tired of putting my heart out there, when others are unwilling to put their own. I’m a risk taker. I’m an adventurer. I’m not lazy in anything, and that includes love.

So, what’s on the agenda? Well, that included a LOT of things: I’m working on body, mind and spirit. I’m going to really sharpen my focus on my physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

Let’s start with the physical: I’m healthy and active. I’m not skinny, but I’m not obese. I work out so that I will be able to participate in the activities I enjoy. Being single I am WELL AWARE of how important the physical body is when it comes to attractiveness. I don’t have an issue with it. I personally would never date someone extremely obese because it’s unattractive, unhealthy, and detrimental to my own healthy lifestyle; however I think a few extra pounds on a man looks good, healthy, and not so vainly arrogant. I do have a stereotypical reaction to men who are what I call ‘gym rats’ and I know it’s not fair. I’ll stop thinking they’re overcompensating for either a lack of intelligence or penis size if they will actually try to see a woman beyond the first two layers of make-up and skin. Don’t get me wrong, I love being sexy, I love men being attracted to me, and inside a relationship I love to have lots and lots of sex (I mean, really a lot of sex). But, I don’t fall in love with someone based on their sexual appeal. I fall in love with souls, not faces. I have loved some really plain faces that had such beautiful souls. Anyway, my physical health is very important to me and it’s time I amp up my workouts and start focusing on setting and meeting some physical goals for myself. 

1.      Body Boarding – I got to experience it for the first time on Easter, and I love it. I want to do more and do it often. During the experience I realized I need to focus on my upper and lower body strength because trying to get passed the breakers required a lot of energy. It’s the hardest part of the whole process. So, now that it’s getting warmer, I’m planning on spending more time at the beach working on my upper and lower body strength, simply swimming passed those breakers. I also want to start working at the gym/home with strength conditioning – using weights, yoga, and workout routines centered on strength training. 

2.    Bike Riding – I plan on doing a lot more bike riding around my town. Not only is it great exercise, but you get to see and experience the world around you with an open view. I see so much more when I’m riding my bike. I feel so much freer. I’d love to have a riding partner, but I’m determined to go alone because riding my bike also gives me time to think. With my job and all the other things I’m doing, I really don’t have a lot of time to think anymore. Everything is rush, rush, rush, rush. I’ve sometimes considered getting a physical labor job, because when my hands are busy my mind is free, but then I think about the heat or the toilets and change my mind. Maybe with a little more bike riding I’ll be able to figure out the perfect job for me. 

3.    Swimming – Because I do live near the ocean and have daily access to a pool, I want to become a really strong swimmer again. I used to be one, even competed for a time, but these last few experiences have shown me that I’m not that strong of a swimmer any more. Also, swimming is great physical exercise. So, I plan on doing a lot more swimming. Also, being in the water is really helping this white girl get a beautiful golden tan. I just hope I don’t get that dark leathery skin that makes you look old. I look so much younger than I am because of my porcelain skin. 

So my new workout routine will involve:

·         Monday – Friday: Early Morning Yoga, Afternoons - 500 Stairs, 30-min swimming, 3 miles on the treadmill, and strength training on the machines – targeting legs and arms. (12,000 min on FitBit)

·         Saturdays: Bike Ride & Beach

·         Sundays: Lazy Day – Off (Video Games/Writing/Binge-watching)

My new diet will include:

·         M-F Mornings: Grapefruit/Cheese/Coffee/Water

·         M-F Mid-Morning Snack: String Cheese/Trail Mix

·         M-F Lunch: Smart Ones – 3 Cheese Ziti & Water

·         M-F Late-Afternoon Snack: Cottage Doubles/Pineapple

·         M-F Dinner: Lean Meat/Green Vegetable/Starch/Tea (Less than 1000 cal)

·         NO EVENING SNACKS

·         Weekend Morning: Bagel w/cream cheese, bacon

·         Weekend Lunch: FREE – whatever I want

·         Weekend Dinner: FREE – whatever I want

I’ll blog tomorrow about my mind and my soul. 

Until next time,

~T.L. Gray

Livin' Out Loud - Liar

Our biggest obstacle when it comes to health, fitness, and even love, is our propensity to make excuses. We have them. We have plenty of them. Our mindset is where the largest part of our battle resides.

We lie to ourselves. We tell ourselves we need or deserve the destructive behavior we commit. We tell ourselves it’s okay to abuse our bodies, our hearts and our minds, after all it’s our period and we deserve that damn chocolate. We’ve been good and deserve to cheat on our diet. We did a lot more activity today than normal so we can skip our workout. We'll start tomorrow, and on and on. The excuses never stop.

Until we recognize we are out biggest abuser, see us for who we really are, we won’t win, we won’t succeed, we won’t break free. It’s nobody’s fault we are like we are. It’s not our past, not our genetics, it’s not our environment, it’s not the food industry, it’s not our religion, it’s not our disease, it’s not our drugs, it’s not ANYTHING but our own choices. We are exactly where we want to be, allow ourselves to be, choose to be, or choose not to change.

Only we can choose to put down the doughnuts, pick up the jump rope, and continue to make that choice everyday.

We don’t need to have a lot of money, personal trainer, expensive food, diet drugs, or the right workout clothes or equipment. Before we pick up or use any of these tools we have to first strip ourselves of our excuses, stand in front of our mirrors naked, look at ourselves in the eye, and truly see ourselves for who we truly are, not the lie we tell ourselves.

We are not victims. We are the abusers of our own self. We are the ones that gorge on the whole box of snack cakes, doughnuts, bag of chips, soft drinks, chicken nuggets, ice cream, and chocolate. We can take all the diet pills we want, drink all the diet drinks we want, eat off the little plates filled with seconds and thirds, but it doesn’t change that we neglect what we need, feed our feelings, and cheat ourselves out of living our lives to our best potential. We see ourselves as victims - and victims are slaves. We are slaves to our addictions. We are slaves to our excuses. We are slaves to our abuses. We are taskmasters to our own depravity.

We are the asshole that stops ourselves. Until we acknowledge our truth and see our truth, we can never change it. We're killing ourselves. We are an abuser, a neglector, and a selfish bitch. Stop lying to our selves. Have the courage to face our own truth and learn to live.

Then… naked, bare, exposed, and determined… change our story, change our stars, change our life.

Till next time,

Freed Slave, Survivor

Get Up! Go on!

Okay, it’s the middle of February and we’re approaching the biggest point where most people who set new goals for themselves at New Year’s usually falter and fall right back into their bad, unhealthy habitual routines.  But, don’t give up.  Get up.  Speed it up.  Dig in a little deeper, because you’re about to hit to a good milestone, reach a transformational point, and see some progress. 

Diet and exercise require a lifestyle change to be effective, period.  Temporary practice only produces temporary results. In the same manner it took to develop the unfit and unhealthy habits, so too will it take just as long to create new ones. It can be done.  It can be accomplished.  You can change your life.

I don’t diet and exercise anymore.  I did when I started out, because essentially both required a major shift in my normal practices, the biggest being my mindset.  I now live more active and healthy.  When it comes to food, I used be concerned about calories and fat content, but now I concentrate on taste, convenience, cost, and enjoyment.  I no longer look at my ‘diet’ as being filled with foods I can’t eat, but turn my focus to those varied healthier choices and consider ways to make them tastier and artistic.  I don’t look at exercise as something that I have to do if I’m going to lose weight.  I hardly weigh anymore, because I’m reaching the point where my weight doesn’t matter as much as my strength and ability to participate in various activities. I now seek out adventures that are exciting, thrilling, and less inhibited because I’m healthier and more energetic. 

But, I didn’t get this way by some miracle pill, divine miracle, extreme surgery, magic shake, or expensive training.  I’ve lost more than 80lbs this last year, built up my lungs and muscle activity to run a mile, and took up the art of gourmet cooking through a lot of hard work and determination.  Every time I thought of quitting and returning back to what was easy and comfortable, I’d think about all those things I was too unhealthy to do, how I felt about myself, and how much my friends and family worried about me and my health, and then I would push myself a little bit harder. 

Yes, it hurts.  Yes, it’s hard.  Yes, at times it feels like that next goal is just always right out of reach.  Yes, you will have weak moments.  Yes, you will stumble at times.  But - YES, you can do it. Yes, you can get up. 

Encourage one another.  If you have a friend or family member that you know who has set a goal for themselves to get their bodies healthier by eating better and exercising, please be a cheerleader for them and let them know how proud you are that they’re taking a stand for their life.  Help them, don’t tempt them.  Send them a note of encouragement and celebrate with them even the tiniest of accomplishments.  A long line of tiny accomplishments make up major achievements. I wouldn’t be where I am today had it not been for a few of my friends who constantly pushed me, encouraged me, and celebrated my achievements with me. 

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray