2014 Resolutions

I've made my list.  Have you?

Well, folks.  Christmas is just around the corner and then following that will be New Year’s Eve and the making, followed probably by a lot of breaking, of new resolutions.  Have you given yours any thought?  I have, but not just in the last few days or the last few weeks.  I’ve been thinking about mine all year. 

Last year, I made some very drastic resolutions and I’m very proud to say I fulfilled them all.  I didn’t make too big a list, but I did list things that I didn’t know I could achieve, were bigger than I ever thought possible, yet I dared to dream and reach for them. 

This isn’t a fairy tale and everything didn’t turn out as well as I had hoped, while other things proved to be better than I ever expected.  I got a small glimpse of what I left behind today, and it’s not an easy thing.  It tore my heart to pieces and I had a brief moment of panic and self-doubt.  But, then I reminded myself why I made the changes I did.  To step backwards would be to erase all my hard work, my shed tears, my panic attacks, and choose to return to a life that didn’t make me happy, giving up the possibility I deserve and find that great love and happiness. 

Do I have a guarantee all my dreams will come true?  No!  That’s not why I make the resolutions.  I make them because I believe there’s a possibility they can come true, but with the full and complete understanding that it will probably be a tough fight, filled with lots of pain, lots of self-doubt, lots of fear, and lots of determination.  Nothing ever seems to come easy for me.  I know I’m going to want to quit, give up, and bury my head in the sand at least once a day, every day. But I’ll continue to push forward, one step at a time, one day at a time, so when I look back next year, it will be filled with even more accomplishments and fulfilled resolutions. 

Life isn’t only living in those special and definable moments, such as the ones we make and fulfill in our resolutions.  Life is LIVED in the process, in the journey, in the fight, in the day to day, moment to moment, second to second.  My biggest resolution is to LIVE fully in every way, in every day, and appreciate my life and those who love me.

I’ve hit some low moments this year, some even to the point I thought I wanted to die and had no strength to even make it to the next minute.  I’ve also experienced some great moments of beauty, love, and excitement – experiencing many beautiful things for the first time.  2013 was the most painful year of my life, but it was also the most alive I’ve ever been.

In 2014, these are my resolutions:

1.   No more grieving. 

2.   Run a 5k (no walking)

3.   Go on a real date

4.   Take a mini-vacation to one of my dream spots (on another list)

5.   Finish one of my novels (completed and edited)

6.   Sign and promote at least (5) five new authors with North Star

7.   Save at least ¼ of the money I need to move to the PNW

8.   Climb the steps at Amicolola Falls (I have to get there first)

9.   Hike at least 50 miles of the Appalachian Trial (not at the same time.)

           10.        Go White Water Rafting

What are your resolutions?

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray