Wednesday, June 19, 2013

True Friends

Have you ever wondered if the people in our lives appeared because we chose them or they chose us, or were our connections beyond us both?

I’ve had a rough year so far.  Change is always difficult, but not necessarily bad.  The biggest change has been the people in my life, especially those who have come into it recently.  There are a few who have really impacted me to a great degree.

My girlfriends:  A girl cannot have too many girlfriends, but she certainly can have the wrong ones.  For many years I had people tell me, almost on a daily or weekly basis they loved me, cared for me, and for my best interests.  Yet, I discovered most of it was merely lip service.  When I made a decisive change in my life, though they spoke concern with their lips, I never saw them.  I was ultimately left to myself, and so I dealt with my pain, uncertainty, and fear… alone.  In my season of doubt I never reached out to them, but with all their declared love, they never reached out to me.

Since then, without looking, searching, or expecting friends, I’ve somehow managed to surround myself with some of the most loving, supportive, and beautiful women I’ve ever met in my life.  I never really got along well with women, but now I don’t how I’d ever get along without them.  There’s a certain support only a woman can get from a girlfriend; an understanding that only women who’ve been through similar situations can lend to one another.

I love my girlfriends.  I love hanging out with them, listening to them, laughing with them, crying with them, but most of all… just having the freedom to be me; all of me.  These new friends love me just as I am and don’t expect me to be perfect.  On the contrary …they expect me to mess up, be wrong, to not understand, and yet they still love me.  If they haven’t heard from me in a few days, they’re at my door.  They push me, encourage me, make fun of me, but they don’t judge me or cast unreasonable expectations onto my shoulders. 

Then there are a few special friends, people who’ve come into my life who push me, challenge me, yet fulfill parts of me that have been long neglected and most often forgotten, even my me.  They don’t talk of stirring my soul, they actually do it.  They don’t talk of inspiration, being with them I’ve become inspired.  They don’t talk of having dreams; they stir my dreams within me, as I hope I stir within them.  They give to me, as I give to them.  I love them dearly.

There are a lot of rules in this world, a lot of demands on what are right and wrong, acceptable, unacceptable, moral or immoral … but I’m learning the true meaning of what it is to love one another.  I’ve busted down the walls of my boxes, and in doing so, sometimes feel lost… but gloriously alive.  I’m being reborn into someone I didn’t expect, but I like her.

Did I choose these friends, or have they chosen me?  I don’t know.  What I do know …I love them dearly and can’t imagine life without them.  These are true friends.  Life is scary.  Living is scary. But having a great support system, a few good friends, makes it a little less scary and a lot less lonely.  My greatest hope is that you, reader, have or find the same for your own life.

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray


  1. A very lovely post - I particularity thought you were going well here: "They don’t talk of stirring my soul, they actually do it. They don’t talk of inspiration, being with them I've become inspired. They don’t talk of having dreams; they stir my dreams within me, as I hope I stir within them. They give to me, as I give to them. I love them dearly.

    Keep goin' forward girl... I'm cheering for ya!

    1. Thank you, Christian. You, my friend, are one of those inspirations. I love and admire you dearly.

  2. Beautiful post. You describe those true friends really well. They come to our lives when we don't look for them. True friendship is a blessing. Thank you for this post.

  3. Thank you. Yes, when I all but gave up on finding ONE friend, I find I am surround by at least a dozen.