Monday, June 02, 2014

Those Moments

I wish I could live in those moments, you know, those moments when everything is new, when hope is burning bright, when your heart is racing at the idea of all of the possibilities, when new adventures show up in your life.  

I know you know what I’m talking about.  

It’s that excitement you feel when you first meet someone.  You weren’t looking for them, but turn around and there they are, and your world suddenly becomes a little brighter.  You didn’t even realize your life wasn’t burning so bright before, but now that a specific spot of sunshine has appeared and the adventure has begun, it’s a great feeling. You have a spring in your step, a song in your heart, a sense of peace that everything is going to be alright.

It’s when you’ve been living in the mundane, the uncertain, the rut - and then all of a sudden there’s a relief, a change that pushes you out the ditch you’ve been in – the start of a new job, the excitement of meeting new people, new processes, new utilizations of your gifts and talents.  Hope and possibilities.

It’s when you’ve found a new place to explore.  You plot, plan, and prepare to start the journey and your mind fills up with all the possibilities of that adventure and of what you can experience.  

I wish I could live in those moments forever, because life is good there.  It’s the memory, the experience, the joy that we feel in those moments that pushes and sustains us through all the other moments… the moments of heartbreak, disappointment, rejections, failure, and loss.  

Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful for the lesser moments, because without them I wouldn’t appreciate and value the exciting moments.  I’m just trying to change my life so that I have more of the prime moments than the lesser ones.  My heart breaks, it’s actually broken at the moment, yet I continue to desire those happier moments.  I can’t stay in this heartbreak, I can’t stay in the fear, the depression, or the pain.  I have to pick myself up, encourage myself to move forward, or else I’ll get stuck in another rut.

All those positive notes of inspiration that I share aren’t because I roll out of bed every morning so happy I can’t help but spread my cheer.  It’s actually quite the opposite.  I’m most often hurt, scared,  and lost because my life is in transition (we are all always in transition).  But, I CHOOSE to confront all that pain and fear with hope for a better day – today; one day at a time – one moment at a time - one decision at a time to fight and refuse to allow the other moments to consume me.  I speak all this positive hope into my life – and guess what -  as I grab onto it my day gets brighter, my fears abate, and a smile genuinely fills my face.  

So here’s to meeting that next beautiful person in my life, the new job, the new project, the new adventure, the new friend, etc.  Come.  Come quickly.

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray

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