I started writing another heart-wrenching blog post this morning, because in truth, my heart is aching something bad right now. But, after I wrote all those words, tears streaming down my face, a huge lump in my throat, I wiped my face and took a deep breath, and deleted the whole post. It doesn’t matter. Those words don’t matter. Those thoughts don’t matter. They don’t change anything.
But, what WILL change things, what does matter is filling my heart, my mind, and my soul with positive thoughts. Remembering my dreams and the things I want to do in my life, those things will fuel me. They won’t take the pain away, but they’ll help dry the tears and push me forward.
What we put into our minds, what we listen to, what thoughts we entertain, form our thoughts and effect the things we do, the choices we make, the fears we let consume us. I’m a rebel. I often act against those fears, in spite of them, face those things that scare me most. I just wish the rest of the world did the same. I don’t allow the world to tell me how to feel, what to do, what is the right way to go. The world has been wrong. It’s always wrong. Listening to the thoughts of the world has hurt me more than I’ll ever be able to express. Cowards. The world is full of cowards.
Today is a new day. Yesterday is gone. The sun has risen once again and I choose to live. I start a new phase at work today, and it seems a new phase in life. Even though my heart hurts something terrible, I choose to smile, I choose to focus on the positive, I choose to tell the world to go fuck itself and take its doubt, depression and double-minded desires with it. I don’t need its bullshit. Instead I will fill it with beautiful words of encouragement.
“Don’t cry over the past, it’s gone. Don’t stress about the future, it hasn’t arrived. Live in the present moment, make it beautiful.”
“There are two ways of spreading light, be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.”
“So, take a deep breath, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, start all over again.”
“A beautiful life begins with a beautiful mind.”
“Ships in the harbor are safe, but that’s not what ships were built for.”
We tell ourselves that we must do this, we must do that, we must love this way or think that way. It’s all bullshit. EVERY moment of every day we have a choice, and in that moment NONE of the world’s bullshit matters. Regardless of the shit I’ve had to deal with in the past, regardless of the shape my heart is in, regardless of how shattered I am… IN THE MOMENT… this moment is all that matters. The choices I make right now… to love, to not love, to hate, to forgive, to doubt, etc. THAT is who I am.
I choose ME. For no one else will.
“What we are today is the result of our own past actions; whatever we wish to be in the future depends on our present actions; decide how you have to act now. We are responsible for what we are, whatever we wish ourselves to be. We have the power to make ourselves.”
We choose to believe. We choose not to believe. We choose to fight. We choose to run. We choose to love. We choose to hate. We choose to forgive.
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s to fight. Fight for what’s right. Fight for what you believe in, what’s important to you. But most importantly, fight for the ones you love, and never forget to tell anyone how much they mean to you while they’re still alive.”
Someday, someone will believe I’m worth fighting for, too. That day’s not today, but someday.
“I want to be your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.”
“If you think positively, sound becomes music, movement becomes dance, smile becomes laughter, mind becomes meditation, and life becomes a celebration.”
In the midst of pain, in the darkest moment of despair, hope still lives and love still remains. I’ll never apologize for loving. I’ll never regret taking the chance. I’ll never look back on my life and say, ‘only if’. I have fallen. I have tasted rejection. I have hurt to the deepest part of my soul, but I have no regrets. I am a lot of things, but I’m not a coward. I’m a fool.
“Three simple rules in life. 1. If you do not go after what you want; you’ll never have it. 2. If you do not ask, the answer will always be No. 3. If you do not step forward, you’ll always be in the same place.”
Waiting for something to happen. Waiting to heal. Waiting to love. Waiting to explore. Waiting to have an adventure. Waiting for success. Waiting for forgiveness. Waiting for dreams. Waiting for happiness. Leaves only one thing… you waiting. None of those things just finds you… you have to fight for each one of them. You have to choose them. You have to want them. You have to face your fears and take them.
Till next time,