Sunday, October 24, 2010

Crazy4Smallville's Weekly Review - Episode 5 Final Season

Smallville Episode 5 Final Season Review

From the previews, it looks like we’re in for a little cheese this week. It’s half-expected after such a great episode last week. I’ve got a few grapes and a piece of warm French bread, so bring it on. I don’t mind a good aged cheese with a solid robust taste, but I can’t stand that low-fat crap that tastes like rubber.

This week seems to be centered on the character of Isis? Isn’t that the same spirit that possessed Lana, the one she named her foundation after? Also, seems like Lois is going to get to sport another skimpy outfit. Sometimes I think the writers think some of this stuff up and look for excuses just to get Lois into an outfit. Okay, opening credits are rolling, so here goes.

Love all the ancient Egyptian things lying around. Oliver going commercial; Green Arrow Girls? Okay, the cheese is already showing spots. Tess and Oliver in a bitter love spat? Does anyone other than me think the museum curator looks a lot like Lex’s ex-wife? She just needs a lazy eye. OOOoooo.. Condemned for all of eternity in hell? Aren’t there already so many other things that can do that? Isis must not have read Romans chapter 8.

“Hey, Clark… you were blurrific.” Really?? Even for Lois this was just waaayy to lame. The cheese fell really flat on that line. I’m sorry… even I had to stop and back up the DVR because I was so distracted by Lois’ boobs. Costume did its job. It was so good it made you miss all those really lame lines.

While I’m waiting on the next segment to return, I have to say that the Remy Zero theme song for this show is an integral part of my Smallville life. It’s just as relevant to the show today as it was the first episode. I’m glad they never changed it over the years. Even though I only watched the first season of Dawson’s Creeks, when I hear the theme song… it takes me back to a particular place in time. I’m sure “Somebody Save Me” will do the same thing ten years from now.

“I saw the future recently,” Clark said. “Now THAT’s the biggest news I’ve officially heard all day,” Oliver replied. “You know you sound crazy when you talk like that, right?”

Those are officially the funniest lines. Oliver seems to get the best ones in this show. He gets to be the snarky guy, while Clark has to be all… concerned and stoic.

Umm, did Clark forget the lesson he learned last week… not letting the past or fear of the future effect his decisions? Isn’t this exactly what he’s doing? I know the boy has buns of steel, didn’t know he had metal for brains too.

Surely, they’re not going to confess right there in the bull pen? Oh, goody. Chatty Kathy is back. Come on… Lois Lane feels intimidated by little ole’ milk maid? I don’t think so. Seriously? I have to give Kat credit, she at least likes to aim high – Lois’ job… Lois’ man. Clark’s sexiest moment… ‘roof, five’. However, I have a sinking feeling that he’s never going to get to ‘tell her’ because something stupid is going to happen and she’s going to be Isis.

Yep, man that was so predictable. She even already had the outfit to boot. Eeww, I don’t like Isis’ voice. “That is of no importance to me.” Loved it! It’s about the only thing that saved the scene.

I bet Clark is thinking, “What… she gets to fly before me!” Okay… major gripe coming. Why does every supernatural freak that appears on this show all of a sudden possess the ability to take to the skies, and Clark who’s been here his whole life has only so far managed a giant leap, a quiver of a hover? Come on… Isis is from ancient Egypt… they didn’t fly back then. Granted she’s supposed to be a ‘goddess’, but the Egyptian people didn’t worship the ‘flying goddess’. Either way… it doesn’t really affect the storyline, but this whole scene was one bit piece of moldy blue cheese.

Still can’t figure out why Clark hasn’t been out looking for Chloe. I bet Chatty Kathy will think twice about picking on Lois after seeing her rip open that door, toss those guards, etc. Well, guess I was wrong on that account. The twit confronts her instead? LOVE the flash scene of her ending up in the coffee shop instead of snatching a picture of Lois, but it looks like he might have been caught on camera – or what that just Isis vision?

Tess and Alexander. Okay, now this story I’ve been really interested in finding out more. I love the little Alexander. Knowing how much Tess loved Lex, I have a feeling she’s transferring that love to little Alexander.

Oh, no… Chatty Kathy isn’t about to pitch the idea to Tess that Lois is the Blur? Oh, yes she did. I feel the same as Tess. That was funny. I’m surprised Tess didn’t fire her, but then how else will they get some laughs or perspective without her?

“Just another Friday night in Metropolis, who’s ready for the weekend?” Great line. Way to go, Tess! She seems to still be a glutton for punishment, and Oliver isn’t giving her any slack. It’s not like she doesn’t deserve the hospitality, but Tess has always done what she thought was right, she just hasn’t always been right. She was wrong first with Lex, then with the Zod, but now…who knows. That story hasn’t unfolded yet.

How does Isis know how modern technology or even the current thought process work? Does she retain all of Lois’ knowledge and memories? What did Isis expect; Osiris’ body fully intact sans the heart? I mean… she figured out where to find his body, where to find his heart, how to navigate a metropolitan city, yet… didn’t think he’d be a bowl of ashes? That part of her brain must not yet be working. What happened? Did the writers spend everything they had on the last episode?

Are those ropes made of Kryptonite? How do they hold Clark down? This superman seems to have a long line of weaknesses.

Chatty Kathy to the rescue. Love that Green Arrow put her in the sarcophagus. “I may be lonely, but I’m still going to kick your Egyptian ass.” Again, Oliver get’s all the best line.

“We’re in the dead of night, where will you find the light of sun?” Well, that answers the question that she didn’t gain modern day knowledge or have understanding on what the Blur can do. I can’t wait till he shed’s that name. Never liked it, and can’t wait for Superman to appear.

I have to admit, those were some awesome moves by both Oliver and Clark. Of course, Lois doesn’t remember anything, typical… expected. Love the line, “I love you Clark, but sometimes you are such a nerd.” Yes, he is and that’s what I love most about him.

Tess and Oliver are going to sign the peace treaty? Welcome to the team? Do they trust her? Are those tears real? I’ve always like Tess. Resented her because she took Lex’s place when I wanted Lex, but she’s done the best she could in his absence. She’s grown on me. Wonder what will become of this new Lex? Begs to question… Is evil genius in the nurture or nature?

Oh, no she didn’t? Farm House Barbie stabs Lois in the hand. “This is Metropolis… weird things happen all the time. Get used to it!” Duh, where’s she been lately? Poor Chatty Kathy. While I understand what the writers are trying to portray with this character, don’t they realize they’re mocking the majority of their viewers? Just because you’re from a small town and have traditional or conservative values, doesn’t make you a knee-jerk bigot. Remember, Clark and Chloe are from Smallville too.

Is he going to do it? Is something going to interrupt this time? Is it going to really happen? YEAH… It’s about time!!! Love the gold falling confetti. LOL… yeah, she already knew, you knub-skull.

Cheesy episode, mediocre writing, but what a great ending; I really enjoyed it although it’s left me with this overwhelming desire to see Chloe and Lex.

Well, that’s it for this week’s episode. Stayed tuned next week for my next review of Smallville in it’s final season.

Till next time, Crazy4Smallville