We’ve been told to be careful with who we hang out with our
whole lives, starting with our parents warning us about wayward friends. Most cautions were not in judgment against them, but for our protection. When we
became teenagers and thought we knew everything, we began making those
decisions for ourselves, some resulting in huge mistakes. This is all part of growing up. Now that we’re adults, we need to use the
wisdom we’ve gathered through our lives to this point, including both from our
parents and our mistakes, but this doesn’t need only apply to our friends. As
writers we must apply this principle to the people with whom we network in the
business.
A person is usually judged by the friends surrounding them, just
as a writer is judged by whom they choose to network. It is very important that we align ourselves
with where we want to go and what we want to achieve, not necessarily where we
currently stand. It is a fact that if a
person desires promotion, they must act and dress for the position they want,
not the position they currently hold. If you want to be successful, you must
align yourself with those who’ve succeeded, not be constantly surrounded by
failure.
Take an assessment.
Who are you investing your time and attention? To those you admire and respect, or with
those who want to hold you back? Do the
people around you encourage, inspire, and incite you to push through, to reach
higher, to take another step, or do they accomplish nothing themselves and complain
about those who do? Do all the people
around you only placate and pat you on the back, but never offer good, solid, sometimes
hard, criticism to push you to your boundaries?
Platitudes are great, but only for the ego.
A true writer should desire the truth, in a pursuit to improve and perfect their craft, but most
often the artistic ego can’t handle the truth or constructive criticism. An egotist only desires to stroke the
ego. Since becoming a writer and delving
into the artistic world, I’ve never met more narcissistic people than those in
the artistic guilds. They’re mostly a
bunch of snobs. I don’t quite understand
where this pretentiousness and elitist attitude extends from, but the air is
thick with them, and usually the snootiest of the bunch is the one who holds
the least amount of natural talent. Combine that with the one-trick ponies, which
after twenty years have yet to display another gem of their genius, and it’s
easy to find yourselves in company that is designed to hold you back and lead to
failure or stagnation.
Be careful with whom you align. Choose those who sow wisdom, knowledge,
encouragement and truth into your life and career, not just their
opinions. Be selective which fellow authors
you network with – do they write, market, inspire and encourage the way you
hope? If not, let them go, or else they
will drag you down to their level.
However, please be careful not to block opportunities to sow into others
who’ve yet to reach your level of success.
Just as you look to move up into the world of success, don’t forget to
be a helping hand to others. Whatsoever you do to the least of these …will
be done to you. Whatsoever you sow, that
also shall you reap. What you do FOR
others reflects more on who you are, more than anything you can say.
Seek the opinions and reviews of those with the highest and strictest
levels of excellence, and not your friends.
True friends tell you what you ‘need’ to hear, not what you ‘want’ to
hear. However, in my experience, there
are few ‘true’ friends in this world, and those who try are often rejected
because the recipient’s ego can’t handle the harsh truths that sometimes have
to be said. I’ve lost many of so-called
friends because I’ve dared to tell the truth.
But I appreciate everyone in my life who’s dared to sow the truth to and
in me. Because of them, I’ve enhanced my
craft and pushed myself to yet another level of excellence.
I encourage you today.
Seek the next level above you. Write something that pushes you to the
edge of your ability and beyond. Seek a
network connection that will help you take a step up. Reach out to another author in whom you
admire and respect, and to whom you are a huge fan. Take a chance and submit a query to a bigger
agent or publisher. Request a review
from someone you know is truthful, yet harsh, and whom you fear may give you hard
criticism. And, look for someone you can
lend a hand or bit of encouragement.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray
Tonya, you are a perfect example of a true friend. You encourage, yet, you are very truthful with your edits. Not only do you take the time out of your very busy schedule to edit a friend's work, you also offer expert advice. You have def. helped one of the least of these (me)! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteAwww, shucks! Thanks, Laura. I NEEDED this post today for ME.
ReplyDeleteThis is something I have to constantly remind myself.