Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Having Courage

Facing fears is something I know a little something about.  I’ve been doing this my whole life. We all have in some way. Sometimes it seems this is all I do, because I’m afraid of a lot of things.  But, I refuse to allow my fear to paralyze me. 

In the midst of all these changes, I face a lot of uncertainty.  Everything that used to bring a little security, a little ‘normality’, is gone and I realize nothing is secure and no one, or no family, is normal.  My life …is what I make it. I’m so tired of trying to live up to everyone else’s expectations, because I can’t.  I fail every day.  I disappoint someone in some way.  The simple truth is …the only person I need to please - is me. 

I used to believe I had to strive to be the perfect mom, the perfect wife, the perfect Christian, the perfect boss, the perfect employee, the perfect neighbor, the perfect friend, the perfect writer, etc. I failed.  I’m not perfect in any of these areas.  In fact, I’ve botched them all, miserably. 

I still find myself striving for perfection, and this effort is where most my fears originate.  But, today …today I strive to be happy being me.  I don’t know what tomorrow holds. I don’t know if I’ll complete all my tasks, fulfill all expectations, or find a little security, but I face my fears regardless.  I have no other option, because the only other thing to do is give into those fears, and that I can’t do.

 What about you?  Have you found the courage to face the things that scare you most? I hope so.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

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