Every writer
understands the thrill of starting a new chapter, especially in a novel that’s
been a huge labor of love, a struggle, something that’s required a lot of
inflection, research, and pain. With the start of a new section, it’s like
there’s been this small reprieve. You’ve
got the sense of completing some task, obstacle, quest, event or emotional
scene, and now it’s time to move on to the next part of the saga, able to put that
part behind you. What we don’t often
realize in our jubilation - starting a new chapter isn’t the same as writing a
whole new book; it’s an extension of the same story. There are still threads to be tied,
characters that need to be developed and plots that need to unfold. No matter how much we’d like to jump out of
the same story and start over fresh, we have to see it to the end – just like
our own lives.
I’d love to be
able to jump out of my story and start a whole new one; reinvent myself and plop
right into a new adventure, but I can’t.
My story has its own history, its own plot line and its own character
development. The only difference, I’m not the author; I’m one of the
characters. I don’t have the power to
change my story, rewrite my earlier chapters, scrap the whole manuscript and
start over from scratch. Part of me
doubts I even have the power to finish the story as I’d like, because I have no
control over the plot or the actions of the other characters. The only thing I truly have any control over
is how my character responds to the things around her.
Just so you know -
I’m pretty damned angry at the author for writing this particular tragedy. Why couldn’t I have been in a comedy or a
fluffy romance? No, I have to be in an epic
thriller; a dark fantasy; a nightmare.
All I have to say is there better be an awesome ending. Come on, one character can only take so much
tragedy in their life. There has to be
balance. I’m not even sure if I’m the
hero or villain. I think most of us are
the heroes in our own stories, but my character isn’t feeling very heroic
lately. Where’s my great love story,
when do I get to save the day instead of always being in need of rescue? When do I reach the climax and get to start
seeing everything come together and find my happily-ever-after? Will my story end up with a tragic
ending? What will I have learned at the
end of my journey? Will anyone shed a
tear for me when my story is finally over?
Or will my story be one of those that have the reader scratching their
heads and saying, “What a waste!”
I don’t want that
kind of ending, and I surely don’t want to be in a tragedy any longer, or to
save the day; I just simply want to smile.
I want to love and be loved in return.
I want to have a purpose and give purpose to someone else’s life. I want to be someone’s bright spot. So, this morning, I’m pleading with the
Author of my particular story, as they go to write this new chapter - please
show a little mercy and change my story to a happy adventure. Tone down the
drama, create a wonderful, beautiful setting, and plot a miracle or two. Oh, and if I might just make a tiny
suggestion - Henry Cavill would make a wonderful leading man. But, if his story and mine can’t mesh, at
least send someone that will flame an unquenchable fire, be someone I can look
up to, who inspires me, pushes and makes me a better person just being in my
life. But they’ve got to want, love and
desire me. I refuse to settle or accept
someone who won’t fully love me back with their whole heart, being and passion.
I deserve to be someone’s leading lady – not only their best friend, side kick
or confidant. I deserve the knight in
shining armor who will go through hell, move heaven and earth, and fight the
largest dragon with ME, even though I can save myself. I don’t need rescued. I just need someone
willing to fight beside me so I don’t have to fight alone.
What does your
story say about you? What kind of novel
is your life? How would you like your
story to change? Think on these things.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray
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