While sitting
outside the Starbucks this morning, enjoying a warm tall caramel macchiato, I
watched a scene unfold at the next table where this guy was in the process of
breaking up with his girlfriend, and you could see the pain on his face; hers
too. He kept telling her that though he
cared about her deeply, even believed he loved her, it just wasn’t with that
mad crazy love, the kind that makes the ground beneath his feet move, and he
didn’t think she or he deserved anything less.
I could see the look on her face, she totally didn’t understand what he
was trying to tell her, and I have to honestly say, neither did I.
As a complete
stranger, I can’t tell you how this guy really felt about this girl. Being a writer, a people watcher, having
grown up with five brothers, been married for twenty years to a man, and have raised a son, I’m pretty good at
reading the male body language. This
guy’s expressions screamed that he cared deeply about this girl; he constantly
reached out to try and comfort her, he looked her directly her when talking, he would gently remove the hair blowing
around her face, and he held her hands.
The look in his eyes as he stared down at her was filled with compassion
and concern, and even held a small pool of tears. When he blushed, the pink hue covered the
whole side of his cheeks. Where his face
wasn’t pink, it was pale, sick with grief.
“Why are you
doing this?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest as if trying to shield
out the pain that clearly showed on her face.
He rubs his
hands over the outside of her hands.
“What we have is comfortable, easy, and without complication. We’re best friends, and the sex is great,
but…” He stops and runs his hands
through his hair. “… you don’t drive me
crazy, you don’t cause me to get angry, you don’t make me feel obsessive or absurd. It’s not that mad kind of love they show you
in the movies.”
Shaking her
head, she answered, “That’s the movies, and it’s not real life. I mean, you do love me, right?”
“Yes, Baby, I
do love you, more than I’ve ever loved anyone.”
“Then, I
don’t see the problem.”
He blew out a
long breath. “I’m afraid I’ll be missing
out on this great, mad, crazy love. I
don’t want to miss that, and I don’t want you to miss that, and if we get
married, I’m afraid it’s because we’re settling for something less than we can
have.”
This girl sat
there stunned, hurt and in disbelief at what this guy was telling her, and I
have to say, I had a huge urge to stand up and scream at him for being a
complete ass. He’s going to lose someone
who he obviously cares about, who he gets along with great, who obviously cares
about him, and who he has a great friendship and sex life …for a fantasy, and
ideal, an image he created in his mind.
I almost wept
at the dissolution of this relationship, dredging up feelings and fears for and
from my own failed love story… both past and possible future. I know what it’s like to have settled, to
have chosen stability over romance, to have never pursued that mad love. However, I’ve learned a few things through
all this pain. What makes someone special in my life and what
love means to me.
I want
passion, but perhaps it’s because I’m older, but I don’t want a mad love. I want a deep connection, a sharing of
interests and dreams, and a sense of trust and adventure. I want comfortable, easy and low
complications, trust, friendship and great sex.
I hope that guy finds his crazy love, but I hope even more he realizes
he’s already got something madly, deeply and truly amazing, yet that doesn’t
seem to be enough for him.
Till next
time,
~T.L. Gray
Bless your heart! Praying for you to find true love.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sad story.
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