My Time

Kalaloch Lodge - 05/30/2013

Sometimes when I look around me, it looks like everybody seems to be doing what they have to do or need to do, but very few do what they want.  I’ve learned how to separate myself from those who only engage the prior reasons and started to surround myself with those who participate and live doing what they’re passionate, or who encourage me to do the same.  Why, because the kind of people which surrounds us affects what we accomplish in this world. 

I’m not a stranger to hard work.  I’m not lazy in any way.  I work hard and passionate with everything I do.  I spend so much of my time and energy encouraging others to do the same thing.  But, my actions are not always financially prosperous.  Yet my soul is filled to overflowing.  However, having a full soul, a smile on your face, a skip in your step and a sense of fulfillment doesn’t pay bills or put a roof over your head.  I’m not a materialistic girl, except when it comes to my technical toys, but I do have basic needs.  I need somewhere to sleep, food to eat, clothes to wear, and a means to remain healthy and hygienic.  All these things require money.

So, my feeling today is …when is it my time?  Where is the harvest of the seeds I’ve sown throughout the years?  Where is the love just for me?  I don’t want much, but what I want is great.  I want to not have to worry about what I’m going to eat, where I’m going to sleep, or if I’m going to always be alone.  Faith says not to worry about these things, but facing stark realities everyday make it really hard to have that kind of faith, especially when I’ve been homeless, I’ve been hungry, and I’ve been unloved, rejected, and alone.  So, I know those things are possible.

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray