Friday, July 26, 2013

Saving the World

Mt. Rainier - 06/09/2013

I’m not Supergirl, though that would be wickedly awesome to be able to fly away anywhere I wanted to go or simply fly away when needed; to have super strength and never show a moment of weakness; to have x-ray vision and see things clearly for what they are, not what they appear to be;  to be able to hear what is too soft, too low or too far away to understand or comprehend; to leap tall obstacles that get in my way; and be faster than bullets that fly and seek to destroy me almost daily.   Alas, I am only human.

I cannot save the world, nor is it my job.  I cannot save anyone else, only one person …me. No one else can save me either; it’s something one must do for themselves.  I’d love for someone to swoop in and sweep me off my feet, make all my dreams come true, dissolve all my worries, fight away all my fears and love me with their whole heart.  Though I write fiction, I don’t believe in fairy tales.   The truth is - I have to do all those things for myself.  

Someday I’ll want to share me with someone, so I need to make sure what I have to share is my best.  I don’t want to give someone I claim to love something that’s broken, weak, timid or frail.  That wouldn’t be me sharing me - they would be them carrying me.  I also don’t want to carry anyone else because I can barely hold myself.  They’d end up resenting me or I would resent them, and that’s not a healthy relationship.  

I’m on the road to saving myself, to loving myself, and fighting to fulfill my dreams.  Someday, I’ll meet someone who will love me completely, and I’ll have something beautiful, whole, and strong to share with them.   That would be a wonderful world in which to live.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

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